Car10e Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I know everyone thinks once you break up, you should no longer be friends with your ex on facebook, but I am. The other day, I saw pictures of my ex with his new gf, and surprisingly I just laughed. Besides me, other people have the same reaction. One person even laughed and said he looks like a pedophile with his new girl (He's 25, she's 19). He looks completely different, and not in a good way. His smile looks forced, and he looks fatter. She's kinda weird, she posts all this stuff about him and then deletes it an hour later. My guess is, he doesn't want her to put it all over facebook, because he knows it makes him look bad (He started dating her the same week we broke up). My friend has joked about commenting on the picture, "Wow, you really let yourself go," but I told her not to, because I don't want to stoop down to that level. I knew it would come eventually, that I would see pictures, but I'm glad it doesn't bother me. What are your stories on this kind of situation? I'm curious to hear them.
Dblock10 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 im friends with mine and she msg me not long ago, ive yet to reply, hard not to want to.. and thing is, i am scared of what i may see, reason being i am physically attracted to her and if her pro photo has changed and she is with some guys or a guy then i will panic and be jealous. not a good combo. so i have avoided fb for 5 weeks.. i am on verge of manning up and just reading her msg and confronting the pic situation. but im struggling to decide whether to reply to her or not. i know i probably shouldnt but its tough
BrokenAnna Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I am "friends" with my ex and I have to say I can't seem to stay away from his photos. I collect every post, photo and status with the date that he posted on facebook...I know it's not healthy but it is the hope that we might get back together someday that keeps me sane. I have a voice recording that he sent me years ago and I can't go to sleep without listening to it on repeat. So yes his pictures definitely has a big influence on me emotionally.
weallfalldown Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I am "friends" with my ex and I have to say I can't seem to stay away from his photos. I collect every post, photo and status with the date that he posted on facebook...I know it's not healthy but it is the hope that we might get back together someday that keeps me sane. I have a voice recording that he sent me years ago and I can't go to sleep without listening to it on repeat. So yes his pictures definitely has a big influence on me emotionally. erm............i don't mean to sound harsh, but i think you might need to talk to someone...???
Dblock10 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 yeah that isnt normal at all. if it was that bad id deffo remove the ex off fb..
Lone Blue Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I am friends with all my exes except my most recent one. Originally, my most recent ex sent me a friend request and I just left it there. He eventually canceled it and we said we'd attempt being friends when all this chaos would blow over, namely me getting over him. Still, with everything that's happened, I think he may be the first ex I may not want to be friends with. That being said, I have to say I'm one of those who advocates not being friends with an ex until you're over things. Otherwise, you're reopening the wound over and over again. Besides that, if you and your ex were together for so long, even if you're not Facebook friends with them, you're bound to hear about them through the grapevine. What's the point of keeping them there and torturing yourself? Oh, and you say you don't care, but you do. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be looking at his stuff. Do yourself a favor and block him like I did. It hurts, I know, but you'll stop constantly reopening the wound. Also, to all of you, I hope your exes realize what lovely people they lost. xoxo
BrokenAnna Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 erm............i don't mean to sound harsh, but i think you might need to talk to someone...??? I am seeing a therapist All good so don't get too worried now hey hehe
Author Car10e Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 Oh, and you say you don't care, but you do. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be looking at his stuff. Do yourself a favor and block him like I did. It hurts, I know, but you'll stop constantly reopening the wound. Its not that I'm looking at his stuff.....it comes up on my newsfeed....I don't see any need to block him. Like I said, I'm not bothered by it. It actually boosts my own self esteem. I'm not going to block him, because I want him to see that I am doing okay without him. I want to him to see what he is missing out on. He is not the one who posts the pictures of his new gf. She is tagging him, which is why I see it. He still has pictures of me on his facebook, and none of her.
Lone Blue Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Its not that I'm looking at his stuff.....it comes up on my newsfeed....I don't see any need to block him. Like I said, I'm not bothered by it. It actually boosts my own self esteem. I'm not going to block him, because I want him to see that I am doing okay without him. I want to him to see what he is missing out on. He is not the one who posts the pictures of his new gf. She is tagging him, which is why I see it. He still has pictures of me on his facebook, and none of her. Oh wow, nevermind. I completely missed that. I thought you were the one searching up his things. Sorry about that. Still, I'm surprised you haven't hidden him from your news' feed. It seems counterproductive to me but to each their own. At least the girl looks like a cow, right?
Author Car10e Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 I am "friends" with my ex and I have to say I can't seem to stay away from his photos. I collect every post, photo and status with the date that he posted on facebook...I know it's not healthy but it is the hope that we might get back together someday that keeps me sane. I have a voice recording that he sent me years ago and I can't go to sleep without listening to it on repeat. So yes his pictures definitely has a big influence on me emotionally. Are they dating someone new? Looking at my ex's facebook, you can't even tell that him and I broke up. He still has pictures of me, and when his new girl tags him in a picture, he deletes it. I felt the same way, I still have my pictures up of us also, because I just think well what if someday we do get back together? In the beginning I was really bothered, and knew it wasn't healthy. But as time goes on, it kind of becomes old news and each day I feel stronger and stronger. If you are friend with your ex still show him that you are doing okay without him. Show him that you are capable of moving on without him. I bet if he saw pictures of you happy, it will make him happy, and maybe even bring back those feelings he once had for you.
flitzanu Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I know everyone thinks once you break up, you should no longer be friends with your ex on facebook, but I am. The other day, I saw pictures of my ex with his new gf, and surprisingly I just laughed. Besides me, other people have the same reaction. One person even laughed and said he looks like a pedophile with his new girl (He's 25, she's 19). He looks completely different, and not in a good way. His smile looks forced, and he looks fatter. She's kinda weird, she posts all this stuff about him and then deletes it an hour later. My guess is, he doesn't want her to put it all over facebook, because he knows it makes him look bad (He started dating her the same week we broke up). My friend has joked about commenting on the picture, "Wow, you really let yourself go," but I told her not to, because I don't want to stoop down to that level. I knew it would come eventually, that I would see pictures, but I'm glad it doesn't bother me. What are your stories on this kind of situation? I'm curious to hear them. do you think he stalks your facebook and minimalizes your looks and/or insults any people you might be dating? or do you think he is worrying about being happy with his life?
Author Car10e Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 Oh wow, nevermind. I completely missed that. I thought you were the one searching up his things. Sorry about that. Still, I'm surprised you haven't hidden him from your news' feed. It seems counterproductive to me but to each their own. At least the girl looks like a cow, right? Haha its okay, I haven't hidden him because he rarely posts anything anyways. It was gonna happen eventually...he's friends with my whole family still. I'm just glad she's not cute. She's filipino like me, only shorter, fatter, and has a big forehead lol. And I know obviously I'm gonna say that, but really, I don't feel threatened by her at all. Its so strange because I didn't expect to feel like this.
Author Car10e Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 do you think he stalks your facebook and minimalizes your looks and/or insults any people you might be dating? or do you think he is worrying about being happy with his life? Both...........
BrokenAnna Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Are they dating someone new? Looking at my ex's facebook, you can't even tell that him and I broke up. He still has pictures of me, and when his new girl tags him in a picture, he deletes it. I felt the same way, I still have my pictures up of us also, because I just think well what if someday we do get back together? In the beginning I was really bothered, and knew it wasn't healthy. But as time goes on, it kind of becomes old news and each day I feel stronger and stronger. If you are friend with your ex still show him that you are doing okay without him. Show him that you are capable of moving on without him. I bet if he saw pictures of you happy, it will make him happy, and maybe even bring back those feelings he once had for you. I don't think he is dating anyone new as I can see on his pictures that he is spending most of his time at the hospital doing charity work. Unfortunately him being so attractive does make life a bit more intimidating as all his females friends "Like" and comments on his photos.
Author Car10e Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 I don't think he is dating anyone new as I can see on his pictures that he is spending most of his time at the hospital doing charity work. Unfortunately him being so attractive does make life a bit more intimidating as all his females friends "Like" and comments on his photos. Well thats good...it sounds like he's just concentrating on himself right now. Just ignore all his female friends. Thats just how most girls are.
Sameold Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I hope you all realise that keeping this portal open means none of you are really in NC. You can deny this if you want but I imagine a high % of you analyse to death any status you put knowing that he or she might read it. I also bet everytime you log on to their profile you wince for a second to make sure they arn't in a relationship with someone new. Ultimately it is just unhealthy. Facebook is a fake portal in to someone's life and it really just facilitates shallow, false, superficial opinions. I blocked my ex straight away I drew the line after my final attempt at reconciliation. Do you really think facebook is the way to get an ex to like you again? And if it does bring them back do you think that's good? They should come back to you irrespective, not because you leave breadcrumvs out there for them to sniff at. 2
Author Car10e Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 I hope you all realise that keeping this portal open means none of you are really in NC. You can deny this if you want but I imagine a high % of you analyse to death any status you put knowing that he or she might read it. I also bet everytime you log on to their profile you wince for a second to make sure they arn't in a relationship with someone new. Ultimately it is just unhealthy. Facebook is a fake portal in to someone's life and it really just facilitates shallow, false, superficial opinions. I blocked my ex straight away I drew the line after my final attempt at reconciliation. Do you really think facebook is the way to get an ex to like you again? And if it does bring them back do you think that's good? They should come back to you irrespective, not because you leave breadcrumvs out there for them to sniff at. I guess it really depends on the situation or the break up. Some people leave on good terms, some on bad. Obviously, it you leave on bad, then well...you probably blocked them. I can understand what you are saying about facebook beng a fake portal, but thats not always the case. I'd say if your posting statuses directed towards your ex, in hopes he would read it, then yes, you may have a problem, and it would probably push them away even further.
g450 Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 I know everyone thinks once you break up, you should no longer be friends with your ex on facebook, but I am. The other day, I saw pictures of my ex with his new gf, and surprisingly I just laughed. Besides me, other people have the same reaction. One person even laughed and said he looks like a pedophile with his new girl (He's 25, she's 19). He looks completely different, and not in a good way. His smile looks forced, and he looks fatter. She's kinda weird, she posts all this stuff about him and then deletes it an hour later. My guess is, he doesn't want her to put it all over facebook, because he knows it makes him look bad (He started dating her the same week we broke up). My friend has joked about commenting on the picture, "Wow, you really let yourself go," but I told her not to, because I don't want to stoop down to that level. I knew it would come eventually, that I would see pictures, but I'm glad it doesn't bother me. What are your stories on this kind of situation? I'm curious to hear them. If it doesnt bother you then why are you posting this here??? Stalking an ex is not healthy no matter what excuses you use to justify it.
Sameold Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 Staying fb friends with your ex is so pointless. The very fact that you saw these pictures clearly shows you are bothered. If you were indifferent you wouldn't have even looked at his profile. Besides, how do you know he isn't just having some fun with a 19 year old? Maybe he doesn't want it splashed all over facebook as people may think he's an ass for shagging about so quickly. He might be enjoying carefree sex.... All I'm saying is you really don't know and you are making assumptions based on static pictures. Facebook is a wonderful tool to create perception. The reality can be very different....personally as the reality dies when a relationship ends I think it is nearly always best that the perceptions do too. As for having a good break up vs a bad one? Even in a good there is always a heavily invested party...normally they are just spared the pain of being the official "dumpee".
Samilia Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 I know everyone thinks once you break up, you should no longer be friends with your ex on facebook, but I am. The other day, I saw pictures of my ex with his new gf, and surprisingly I just laughed. Besides me, other people have the same reaction. One person even laughed and said he looks like a pedophile with his new girl (He's 25, she's 19). He looks completely different, and not in a good way. His smile looks forced, and he looks fatter. She's kinda weird, she posts all this stuff about him and then deletes it an hour later. My guess is, he doesn't want her to put it all over facebook, because he knows it makes him look bad (He started dating her the same week we broke up). My friend has joked about commenting on the picture, "Wow, you really let yourself go," but I told her not to, because I don't want to stoop down to that level. I knew it would come eventually, that I would see pictures, but I'm glad it doesn't bother me. What are your stories on this kind of situation? I'm curious to hear them. Well I guess that makes me a cougar since I'm 8 years older than my boyfriend..
AnchordHeart Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 I'm no longer friends with my ex on FB but there are still pictures of us together on there. Pics of us on dates and at prom. Some I uploaded, some he uploaded, some that friends took of us... I like that they are there. It would hurt me if he removed them all..
Author Car10e Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 Well I guess that makes me a cougar since I'm 8 years older than my boyfriend.. I guess so....
Author Car10e Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 Staying fb friends with your ex is so pointless. The very fact that you saw these pictures clearly shows you are bothered. If you were indifferent you wouldn't have even looked at his profile. Besides, how do you know he isn't just having some fun with a 19 year old? Maybe he doesn't want it splashed all over facebook as people may think he's an ass for shagging about so quickly. He might be enjoying carefree sex.... All I'm saying is you really don't know and you are making assumptions based on static pictures. Facebook is a wonderful tool to create perception. The reality can be very different....personally as the reality dies when a relationship ends I think it is nearly always best that the perceptions do too. As for having a good break up vs a bad one? Even in a good there is always a heavily invested party...normally they are just spared the pain of being the official "dumpee". Read the other posts before you go bashing people. I am not going on his profile...it pops up. READ IT.
2muchlove Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 It helps not to look at pictures. It's been a exactly a month since I last saw her in person. And a couple weeks since I saw a picture of her. When I looked at it I lost my sh*t. Didn't help that trey songz came up on pandora at the same time with his "can't be friends" BS. Anyways... I really don't remember what she looks like. Her face is fuzzy, and strangely replaced with my ex before her. But I don't recommend doing it. It's going to make it a lot easier on your heart if it is fact broken.
Samilia Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Read the other posts before you go bashing people. I am not going on his profile...it pops up. READ IT. Really? Why don't you start by not bashing the boyfriend you don't care about and his girlfriend who hasn't done anything to you? Age difference happens, grow up
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