2muchlove Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 It read "happy belated birthday." It was 6 days ago. Any advice?
weallfalldown Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 you know the drill............... if you reply, then you'll be on tenderhooks waiting for one back, and you prob won't get it......read your own post about what you'd like your ex to actualy say.........it aint there....so ignore 1
Mike_d Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 big breath, don't do anything now, let the initial shock wear off, let your emotions settle over a few days, then reevaluate revel in the fact that you are still in her head, but do not do anything now. don't break your NC in a weak moment. cut yourself some slack that the next few hours/days are going to be a rollercoaster and make that ok. go back to your initial coping tools that you did to help yourself early on you'd give me the same advice if the shoe was on the other foot, right? 1
Mike_d Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 and keep posting here if you need to talk/vent/get support, you can do this, you are stronger than you think
Jono85 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 seems on your birthday you wanted her to msg you so bad just so u could ignore her. well she didn't msg u on ur birthday, but 6 whole days later. her msg seems as bland as it could possibly be, to be honest. almost like she feels compelled to say it, just to relieve her guilt. just ignore it man. u owe her nothing anymore. a happy belated birthday msg 6 days after ur birthday would most likely upset me if anything. again, ignore that bs. 4
Author 2muchlove Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 Yea I'm not goin to respond to that. Really does seem forced. Though I would love to tell her to get f***ed. 1
Author 2muchlove Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 seems on your birthday you wanted her to msg you so bad just so u could ignore her. well she didn't msg u on ur birthday, but 6 whole days later. her msg seems as bland as it could possibly be, to be honest. almost like she feels compelled to say it, just to relieve her guilt. just ignore it man. u owe her nothing anymore. a happy belated birthday msg 6 days after ur birthday would most likely upset me if anything. again, ignore that bs. Yea man you nailed that one. I'm pretty sure she just wanted to use that as an opener to get a piece of property we both invested in together. What she doesn't know is I'm goin to sell it.
Author 2muchlove Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) big breath, don't do anything now, let the initial shock wear off, let your emotions settle over a few days, then reevaluate ... you'd give me the same advice if the shoe was on the other foot, right? Yes I would. It's much more empowering to hear it from others. And yea I was pissed she didn't text me but I had a damn good time anyways on my Bday. After all that **** though she just gives me the most half ass attempt at a belated birthday wish. Makes it a bit easier to cope actually. Edited August 8, 2012 by 2muchlove
Author 2muchlove Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 She messaged you because she knows you are moving on, by not contacting her that is your goal. She is trying to get you hooked again, to bring you back in. She is wondering what you are up to. It's an ego boost for her, that's it. Once you text her back, she knows she has you back in her hands. It's only for her benefit. Don't do it. I'm not going to give that girl the time of day. Deleted the text already. It's suprisingly not bothering me as much.
Author 2muchlove Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 Real talk though. If I were to send her a text that just read "Hah. F**k off." or "Go F yourself." Something along those lines. What is the worst that could come out of that? I mean, I try to have class, but not with people who treat me like that. I'm no saint yet. I'm only in my mid twenties.
Mike_d Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 you'd break NC you'd do something out of spite that you'd be embarrassed about later on, doesn't seem like who you are from what I read of you here it's petty and immature need more? don't do it, just keep your NC going
blue_jay_bird Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 It read "happy belated birthday." It was 6 days ago. Any advice? WHAT, its as if she/he is trying to mock you, "oh i just remember my ex's bday passed, i guess i should say hi, pff" **** her/him.
It's Just Me Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Real talk though. What is the worst that could come out of that? Here's the thing. Reacting strongly will give her the satisfaction of knowing that she can still get to you, and it also shows that you still have strong feelings. Is that what you want? The BEST reaction? No reaction at all. Complete indifference.
Author 2muchlove Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 you'd break NC you'd do something out of spite that you'd be embarrassed about later on, doesn't seem like who you are from what I read of you here it's petty and immature need more? don't do it, just keep your NC going It's not like me. But would I really be embarrassed? It's something I've wanted to say to her from the last conversation we had when I foolishly led her to believe she got away with clean hands.
ScienceGal Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Happy belated birthday!? How lovely that she thought of you after your birthday! I once dated a guy for a couple months and then he stood me up as a means to break up with me. A couple weeks later he sent me "Merry Christmas" message the day after Christmas! I don't know his intentions, but I do know that it means he 1) was making some weak attempt to communicate with me, and 2) was obviously busy with more important things or didn't even think of me at all on the day of! This is not worth your time.
Author 2muchlove Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 Here's the thing. Reacting strongly will give her the satisfaction of knowing that she can still get to you, and it also shows that you still have strong feelings. Is that what you want? The BEST reaction? No reaction at all. Complete indifference. Yea I know better. As petty as it is I just wish I could make her feel my pain. I just got back from a 3 week vacation across the country as she still consumed my mind the whole time. Now I'm back in the apartment we once shared. Alone. Not making it easy for me.
Author 2muchlove Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 Happy belated birthday!? How lovely that she thought of you after your birthday! I once dated a guy for a couple months and then he stood me up as a means to break up with me. A couple weeks later he sent me "Merry Christmas" message the day after Christmas! I don't know his intentions, but I do know that it means he 1) was making some weak attempt to communicate with me, and 2) was obviously busy with more important things or didn't even think of me at all on the day of! This is not worth your time. I won't say I'm 100% sure but I'm almost certain she knew it was my birthday the day of. We made too many plans that day for her to forget. She just didn't say anything.
Mike_d Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 write her a letter, tell her how you feel. stick letter in drawer, review in 6 months, tune the letter up, put in drawer, review in 6 months, later rinse repeat till complete keep working on moving on
Author 2muchlove Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 write her a letter, tell her how you feel. stick letter in drawer, review in 6 months, tune the letter up, put in drawer, review in 6 months, later rinse repeat till complete keep working on moving on Oh sh*t. If I'm still affected by this in even 6 weeks I'll go crazy. My first love took 8 months to get completely over. I'm hoping this toxic (yet more intense) one is a lot shorter.
It's Just Me Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 I remember the wallowing after a year of being in an intense and very toxic relationship. I lived on gummy bears, coffee and booze for four weeks straight, and could not bring myself to do or think anything constructive. But I did go to work every day. One thing I did refuse to do was give him any inkling that I still gave a sh*t. His best friend's wife worked at the same company I did, but in Human Resources. She came up to me one day at lunch, and asked, in her sweetest, most concerned voice, "So, how are you doing? You okay?" I knew full well that she didn't give a damn about me (never had), and was looking to report back, as it were. I looked at her, completely puzzled. "What are you talking about?" She said, "You know. Your breakup with John. How are you?" My answer: "How does my personal life in any way impact the HR department?" She left me alone after that. My best friends knew I was in pain, but there was no way I was going to let him find out.
Author 2muchlove Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 I remember the wallowing after a year of being in an intense and very toxic relationship. I lived on gummy bears, coffee and booze for four weeks straight, and could not bring myself to do or think anything constructive. But I did go to work every day. One thing I did refuse to do was give him any inkling that I still gave a sh*t. His best friend's wife worked at the same company I did, but in Human Resources. She came up to me one day at lunch, and asked, in her sweetest, most concerned voice, "So, how are you doing? You okay?" I knew full well that she didn't give a damn about me (never had), and was looking to report back, as it were. I looked at her, completely puzzled. "What are you talking about?" She said, "You know. Your breakup with John. How are you?" My answer: "How does my personal life in any way impact the HR department?" She left me alone after that. My best friends knew I was in pain, but there was no way I was going to let him find out. I'm proud of myself for not cracking so far. That's cool you were able to do that. I wouldn't be able to work after something like this. Its as fortunate as it is unfortunate that I don't have a job right now.
Author 2muchlove Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 (edited) My horoscope for today. Perfect. "Give something a final farewell push today — a project, a relationship, or even just an old piece of furniture. It is taking up way too much room in your life and in your heart. You’ve done all you can with it, and now it’s someone else’s duty to carry it on down the line. This release will lighten you load and make you feel quite carefree for a few days. Take advantage of this positive energy by planning a lavish night out with a few close friends." Edited August 10, 2012 by 2muchlove
It's Just Me Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 I don't believe in astrology, but that's facking awesome (and rather good advice). Go with it!
Author 2muchlove Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 I don't believe in astrology' date=' but that's facking awesome (and rather good advice). Go with it![/quote'] I try and take it with a grain of salt, but some are way to relevant to ignore.
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