disconcertainly Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 Its been almost a week since my boyfriend and I broke up. We have been dating for a year and half. I am so hurt about all of this. I am 21 and he is 19. Last tuesday I got a really bad feeling and decided to go his house and make sure he was ok.....So I went to his house and used my key to get in...this was around 3am! Well when I got in I heard a girl talking and my heart sank. She was in his bedroom and I was so upset I lost it! I mean they were not having sex they were fully clothed but this was the last thing i expected. So I was so upset..... my actions were wrong but I slapped him twice and the drinks that he had out I poured them all over his bed. I am so hurt over all of this. I am starting to accept the fact that he does not want to be with me. So long story short when I stopped asking him to please lets work this out and started trying to get over it. keep in mind all this time he has still contiuned to call me and text msg me. Anyway yesterday I ignored his attempts to contact me. And today when I talked to him he was so upset- mad- that i had ignored his msg that we talked for like an hour on the phone...some of the time he was trying to make me upset but held my cool and did not let on that he was getting to me. So I asked him what do you want from me I am just confused b/c you were so upset about me not talking to him at all. He said .....EUGH I JUST DONT KNOW I HAVE TO GO TALK TO YOU LATER. I am just so confused and need some help please give me your veiw on this. And he felt the need to tell me that he has drank every bit of alcohol in his apt and that his life sucks...I mean I guess if he truly wants it to be over then why is he still wanting to talk to me? I am just so confused and I love him so much. I have cried over this until I cant cry any more. ANY FEED BACK WOULD BE GREAT! thanks!
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 I'm a little confused. You said he keeps contacting you but what does he talk about? Is he asking for a second chance? Does he explain why she was there? Has he tried to make you understand what he was doing?
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 Last tuesday I got a really bad feeling and decided to go his house and make sure he was ok.....So I went to his house and used my key to get in...this was around 3am! It sounds more to me you were jealous and were spying-why don't you go out and make your own fun? Don't take his calls.
Author disconcertainly Posted July 14, 2004 Author Posted July 14, 2004 we talk about mainly what went wrong and then its almost like he wants everything to be ok but if i say lets work things out then he says WE HAVE NOTHING TO WORK OUT. And when I went to his house I was not trying to spy I just thought that he may have gotten way to drunk and needed some help.
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 How would you have known he was way too drunk? Were you both at a party and you saw him leave with her? Seriously, he's yanking your chain-drop him-he's going to turn you into a crazy obsessive girl.....he wants to sleep with other people. (I think) and you deserve better. Gather your self esteem and show everybody that you're strong, smart, and most of all, beautiful.
Author disconcertainly Posted July 14, 2004 Author Posted July 14, 2004 Honestly I want to move on but its just so hard! I knew he was hanging out with his buds which is totally ok. I guess my intuition just kicked in. But i loved this one from the bottom of my heart and its just going to be really hard. It just makes me sick to think about him being with some else. But I am a strong person and know he is just being a child and does not know what he wants...i guess deep dont i want him back..i am just in love and hurt.
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 I know that-I would just like you to know that the further you keep mucking around in this the longer you'll be hurting-try looking up some of the EXCELLENT threads on "no contact" while you're here.
Author disconcertainly Posted July 14, 2004 Author Posted July 14, 2004 Will be....I just wish that he would not contact me..i guess the out of sight out of mind comes to mind. But it will just take time. He might decide that he wants be with me but who know...i am not holding my breath are waiting around. Thanks!!!
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 WE HAVE NOTHING TO WORK OUT I think you have your answer.
Author disconcertainly Posted July 14, 2004 Author Posted July 14, 2004 YES I KNOW BUT YOU SEE MY POINT IS THAT WHY DOES HE STILL WANT TO TALK.....IF WE HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.....I MEAN WHY DID HE GET SO UPSET THAT IGNORED HIS CALLS AND TEXT MSG?
iceangelk28 Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 Olivia, I know what you are going through. My ex called me for a long time after we broke up. Then we got into and argument didn't talk for weeks and just when I think I am over him, he calls out of the blue. He calls me when he needs help to. I'm not sure what to think any more but I do know that I need to walk away. I had hoped that someday things would work out, but it's not going to work and for my sake, I need to walk away. I have some great friends that are trying to help and I think that we can help each other walk away and find that guy that is for us. There are plenty of fish out there and go for the whale honey! we both need to!
Starnette83 Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 "we talk about mainly what went wrong and then its almost like he wants everything to be ok but if i say lets work things out then he says WE HAVE NOTHING TO WORK OUT. And when I went to his house I was not trying to spy I just thought that he may have gotten way to drunk and needed some help." girl i know what u mean, my bf does the same to me ...when i wanna work things out he pushes me away and when i start ignoring him and acting cold he wants to work things out, it is confusing and it is frustrating , cuz they make it feel like they do care about us yet there other side makes it feel like they dont..so we keep going back to them...send me a private message so we can trade emails and AIM so we can talk some more..ive been wtih my bf for 3 years n 7 months, hes 20 im 21 but we have broken up so many times and im so sick of his behavior, i hate when im online and he ignores me and doesnt wanna talk to me but once i start doing that to him all of a sudden i have his attention,...i hate it and it confuses the hell out of me..and the worst i found out he gave his # to a girl who approached him last week and they talked on the phone..i forgave him but cant get over him and cant trust him anymore... I know that if i would have cried when i found out and acted like i cared alot he would have pushed me away but i sucked it in and said "Why u do that when im ure gf? u know what forget it, just go with her, leave!!" and he was about to leave my house and i was holding my self from saying "Dont go!" but i knew if i did this he would leave even faster..so i scuked it in and i wanted to cry so bad but didnt...and in my head i was like "Dont go, dont go" as i opened the door so he could leave ..he hugged me and said "im not leaving"....ugh!!! its confusing!!! but i know if i wouldve said "dont go" he woyuld have left....so how is a girl to act??
RoboHobo Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 disconcertainly, if you don't want him to contact you ask him not to. If he persists in this don't entertain his attempts. you don't need to be rude just reinforce in him that you want things distant for a while. Starnette83, do you want to stay in a relationship with someone who you have to play games with to keep? Don't settle for average, no-one deserves that. He might change for all we know, but he doesn't seem receptive to it at the moment. Keep your eyes open and you'll know in your heart what the correct decision for you will be.
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