Tres Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I was doing OLD for about 2 yrs. I was looking for a R and I was not able to find the right guy. But, I have been on several dates and had many messages from men who were definitely not suitable for me. I have never got really angry, rude messages during my OLD. But, I have recently received several very rude and agressive messages on several OLD sites. The messages are from short men and they are mostly about my terribly short height, ugly body, ugly short legs, old age, fake pics and other offensive things. The messages are very rude, agressive, dramatic and personal. Before that, I have only received messages with complements about my appearance. I had never had a problem with being short (5.3') and I think I look normal (5.5') on heels. My weight is 109 (48 kg). I love to put on short skirts and jeans to show my normal size legs. But, I am aware that tall women and models have much longer legs than I have. I have never messaged the angry short men and I cannot figure out why they send me the messages about my very very ugly appearance. How can I stop them? BTW some of them use anonymous profiles and my complaints about them were not effective.
silicone Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 So in other words, you are being trolled by anonymous people who claim their heights? Any specific reason why you mentioned short men?
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Likely you can't stop the men from sending you messages voicing their opinions on your apperance. Especially as it seems your complaints seem to go unconcerned. Perhaps it's best suited to simply ignore the messages and not bother trying to figure out why they send you such messages.
Cracker Jack Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 That sounds silly. Have no idea why short men would be insulting you about your height, which isn't "terribly short" to begin with. Either way, those guys sound like dickheads. Just block them. Also, does your profile tell short men to not message you? That's the only source I can think of that would draw out their anger. Are these messages simply random? It just...seems odd that a legion of short men would start insulting you out of nowhere, but it's OLD, so anything is possible.
Taramere Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I was doing OLD for about 2 yrs. I was looking for a R and I was not able to find the right guy. But, I have been on several dates and had many messages from men who were definitely not suitable for me. I have never got really angry, rude messages during my OLD. But, I have recently received several very rude and agressive messages on several OLD sites. The messages are from short men and they are mostly about my terribly short height, ugly body, ugly short legs, old age, fake pics and other offensive things. The messages are very rude, agressive, dramatic and personal. Before that, I have only received messages with complements about my appearance. I had never had a problem with being short (5.3') and I think I look normal (5.5') on heels. My weight is 109 (48 kg). I love to put on short skirts and jeans to show my normal size legs. But, I am aware that tall women and models have much longer legs than I have. I have never messaged the angry short men and I cannot figure out why they send me the messages about my very very ugly appearance. How can I stop them? BTW some of them use anonymous profiles and my complaints about them were not effective. Is that you in the avatar? I'm sure if you ran a pic of yourself through some sort of "golden ratio" computer programme it would assure you of your excellent proportions...and that would be an objective source, rather than some suicidal troll who wants to vent his issues against women who he regards (rightly) as being out of his league. They really don't merit a moment of your attention or concern. Just determine that you will take a very disciplined approach towards toxic online Lotharios. RDF. Report, delete and forget. I don't think there's any need to analyse it beyond that....or, indeed, any benefit to wasting time thinking about them. 1
yongyong Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I think it's a trade off. During the day, how many compliments do you get? on OLD, guys will throw compliments like nothing. (you know their intention anyways) maybe you shouldn't take those compliments seriously. then you can ignore those rude messages too and even laugh about it. It's like you are in a bar. some guys will hit on you in a rude manner 'hey nice ass, wanna come home with me?' If you don't like it, you don't have to come back. (personally I wouldn't do it like that)
Author Tres Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 That sounds silly. Have no idea why short men would be insulting you about your height, which isn't "terribly short" to begin with. Either way, those guys sound like dickheads. Just block them. Also, does your profile tell short men to not message you? That's the only source I can think of that would draw out their anger. Are these messages simply random? It just...seems odd that a legion of short men would start insulting you out of nowhere, but it's OLD, so anything is possible. No legion insulted me but there were 4 messages. But, they were very rude and one after another on different sites. The men had profiles where they have mentioned their height. My profile had no unreasonable limits on height. I wanted a man who is just taller than I am. Now, I am afraid to receive any more messages from short men. I need to protect myself and my self-esteem. So, to prevent the men from messaging me about my height I have to state that I am 5.6' and that I am looking for men only from 5.9' to 6.2'. Also, I think that I might hurt some men because I was not really sensitive at rejecting a few(several) men.
Vintage79 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 So you're starting out by lying in your profiles? That's an instant reject from me when we meet...screams insecure and low self esteem, regardless of the reason(s). Moreover, guys will likely not pay attention to your height requirements [although I'm not a short guy - so maybe shorter guys do - I'm 6'0"].
AD1980 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Any specific reason why you mentioned short men? Because if a few short men are angry bitter men that means we all are..women give short men a "short" leash and if one f's up they group us all together.. Theyd never prejudge a tall dude 2
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Because if a few short men are angry bitter men that means we all are..women give short men a "short" leash and if one f's up they group us all together.. Theyd never prejudge a tall dude Seems more like because the messages were from short men. The messages are from short men Nowhere do I see the OP grouping all short men as angry and bitter rather than labelling the short men who sent her messages as angry and bitter so I don't think the "if one f's up they group us all together" applies here.
Vintage79 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Seems more like because the messages were from short men. Nowhere do I see the OP grouping all short men as angry and bitter rather than labelling the short men who sent her messages as angry and bitter so I don't think the "if one f's up they group us all together" applies here. Umm - did you miss the part about her faking her height and jacking up her height requirements so as to try to strongly disuade short guys from contacting her - that sounds like, in my opinion, a blatant grouping of, "short guys are bad". Agreed - she doesn't explicitly state that all short guys are angry/bitter, but she's effectly trying to screen them all out, as opposed to taking the 95% that are awesome to avoid the 5% that are bad...
Author Tres Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 So you're starting out by lying in your profiles? That's an instant reject from me when we meet...screams insecure and low self esteem, regardless of the reason(s). Moreover, guys will likely not pay attention to your height requirements [although I'm not a short guy - so maybe shorter guys do - I'm 6'0"]. I know that lying is hopeless. And, my OLD seems to be hopeless anyway. But, I do not want to put myself at risk to get the rude messages about my height and appearance. It is safer to set height requirements to reject all short men than to try to figure out if some of the short men are either good/normal or agressive/bitter towards short/slim women.
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Umm - did you miss the part about her faking her height and jacking up her height requirements so as to try to strongly disuade short guys from contacting her - that sounds like, in my opinion, a blatant grouping of, "short guys are bad". Agreed - she doesn't explicitly state that all short guys are angry/bitter, but she's effectly trying to screen them all out, as opposed to taking the 95% that are awesome to avoid the 5% that are bad... I didn't miss that part and in my opinion that's not blatant grouping of "short guys are bad" that's more of "not going to bother trying to figure out which are good and which are bad". LMFAO at "the 95% that are awesome to avoid the 5% that are bad" as it's always amusing to me how often it's portrayed that only a miniscule minority of men are bad rather than the amount of good and bad are equal or similar.
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I know that lying is hopeless. And, my OLD seems to be hopeless anyway. But, I do not want to put myself at risk to get the rude messages about my height and appearance. It is safer to set height requirements to reject all short men than to try to figure out if some of the short men are either good/normal or agressive/bitter towards short/slim women. OP it's not safer as you can still get rude messages about your height and appearance from average and tall men as well while it hasn't happened in your time of OLD it can. Bit curious as to what environment you grew up in that you're not accustomed to men voicing their opinion about your physical appearance in ways that hurt your ego/feelings. Guessing you're not an American living in America?
FitChick Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Are you on a free dating website? I think a lot of teenage boys get a kick out of insulting older women. Makes them feel powerful instead of being the scared little boys they are. If this website offers the option of showing if emails are read or not. what you could do first is read their profile to see if they are attractive, then open their email. If they are someone you'd never date, then don't bother reading the email. It's possible that those trolls created fake profiles to harass you because you've rejected them in the past. Don't lie about your height because you just give them more ammunition to use against you. You can state height preferences, though.
silicone Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Because if a few short men are angry bitter men that means we all are..women give short men a "short" leash and if one f's up they group us all together.. Theyd never prejudge a tall dude Seems more like because the messages were from short men. Nowhere do I see the OP grouping all short men as angry and bitter rather than labelling the short men who sent her messages as angry and bitter so I don't think the "if one f's up they group us all together" applies here. I think both are true.
Vintage79 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I didn't miss that part and in my opinion that's not blatant grouping of "short guys are bad" that's more of "not going to bother trying to figure out which are good and which are bad". LMFAO at "the 95% that are awesome to avoid the 5% that are bad" as it's always amusing to me how often it's portrayed that only a miniscule minority of men are bad rather than the amount of good and bad are equal or similar. Ok - I have no idea if 95% of people are genuinely awesome, but I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of people wouldn't send the type of messages that offended the OP. I was talking awesome in that sense (i.e. send reasonable messages as opposed to the offending stuff). In the breadth, I'm a guy - maybe women normally receive a lot of hate mail - I'm not sure (although the OP essentially alluded to the fact that these guys were outliers, essentially confirming that the majority are reasonable).
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) Ok - I have no idea if 95% of people are genuinely awesome, but I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of people wouldn't send the type of messages that offended the OP. I was talking awesome in that sense (i.e. send reasonable messages as opposed to the offending stuff). In the breadth, I'm a guy - maybe women normally receive a lot of hate mail - I'm not sure (although the OP essentially alluded to the fact that these guys were outliers, essentially confirming that the majority are reasonable). Gotcha you were talking about awesome as in not sending opinions about her appearance that hurts her ego/feelings in which I agree that it's doubtful the vast majority of OLD guys would do as thse guys did. Edited August 8, 2012 by udolipixie
KathyM Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Maybe there's a guy that you blew off or rejected at one time during your OLD stints, and this is his way of getting back at you for rejecting him using a fake profile. Or maybe it's a guy/guys who actually have an interest in you, and they think if they beat down your self esteem enough, that when they actually contact you showing interest with a legitmate profile, you might be more inclined to go out with them if you have been led to think you are so undesirable. Or maybe it's just a guy/guys that gets off on insulting women. Or maybe it's a guy/guys that have been rejected by a lot of women on OLD, so he's lashing out at women whom he perceives as having anything undesirable about them. Could be any number of scenarios that cause men to do this. Pretty immature, but some men are immature, for sure.
Bristolius Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 Maybe there's a guy that you blew off or rejected at one time during your OLD stints, and this is his way of getting back at you for rejecting him using a fake profile. Or maybe it's a guy/guys who actually have an interest in you, and they think if they beat down your self esteem enough, that when they actually contact you showing interest with a legitmate profile, you might be more inclined to go out with them if you have been led to think you are so undesirable. Or maybe it's just a guy/guys that gets off on insulting women. Or maybe it's a guy/guys that have been rejected by a lot of women on OLD, so he's lashing out at women whom he perceives as having anything undesirable about them. Could be any number of scenarios that cause men to do this. Pretty immature, but some men are immature, for sure. Good analysis, but your last sentence is an insult to immature people.
Failboy Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 That's obvious trolling and the person or people who wrote those messages sure as hell didn't put his/her/their real pictures and info in it. Why you would believe those are all unique people who have been messaging you on various OLD sites during a very small time frame while each of them randomly also sharing the relatively rare attribute of being short is beyond my understanding to be honest.
FryFish Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 lol... I think tres was just looking for an excuse to exclude short guys... She is either lying or she was seriously trolled... Either way, shorter guys lose in OLD again...
Failboy Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 lol... I think tres was just looking for an excuse to exclude short guys... She is either lying or she was seriously trolled... Either way, shorter guys lose in OLD again... For this very reason I only use sites that don't feature all that height(range) crap. Too many women won't even bother. Which is fine. It's just that I've found out from personal experience that if you tell them later after exchanging several mails and pics, they surprisingly rarely abandon you. I would imagine if most don't even talk to you in the first place, many of them would also stop bothering if they find out later. For some reason, that is not the case at all - at least from my experiences. Love and attraction just shouldn't be based on stats, especially since "feeling it" can by quite inexplicible. Features you might list as a turn-off when arrogantly filling out your profile might be totally forgiveable once you've actually gotten to "like" someone who happens to be like that.
El Brujo Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 I was doing OLD for about 2 yrs. I was looking for a R and I was not able to find the right guy. But, I have been on several dates and had many messages from men who were definitely not suitable for me. I have never got really angry, rude messages during my OLD. But, I have recently received several very rude and agressive messages on several OLD sites. The messages are from short men and they are mostly about my terribly short height, ugly body, ugly short legs, old age, fake pics and other offensive things. The messages are very rude, agressive, dramatic and personal. Before that, I have only received messages with complements about my appearance. I had never had a problem with being short (5.3') and I think I look normal (5.5') on heels. My weight is 109 (48 kg). I love to put on short skirts and jeans to show my normal size legs. But, I am aware that tall women and models have much longer legs than I have. I have never messaged the angry short men and I cannot figure out why they send me the messages about my very very ugly appearance. How can I stop them? BTW some of them use anonymous profiles and my complaints about them were not effective. Easy, give OLD the brush. It isn't for everyone, as I can tell you from my experiences. Theyd never prejudge a tall dude Excuse me, but I am a tall dude. All the strangers I meet seem to think tall dudes who don't play basketball should be taken out and shot.
Recommended Posts