communityFan Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I saw the hottest babe at the store today. She was getting some vegetables and I stealthily checked her out from a distance. By the time I was ready to approach her she had moved on to the bananas. All I could think of saying at the time was sexual innuendo. So I just passed, then I saw her in the checkout line and got in behind her. I noticed what she was buying and said "Wow that is a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables". She replied "Yea I try to eat healthy so I have to exercise less". I know it was very lame. How would you want to be approached? What should have I said? Thanks in advance.
CarrieT Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 She was buying ingredients - versus pre-made meals... Comment that you also like broccoli/asparagus/whatever you spied and then you should have asked her how she prepares them or for a favorite recipe. Turn the dialogue into a direct question to her that is banal and unassuming and go from there.
Author communityFan Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 She was buying ingredients - versus pre-made meals... Comment that you also like broccoli/asparagus/whatever you spied and then you should have asked her how she prepares them or for a favorite recipe. Turn the dialogue into a direct question to her that is banal and unassuming and go from there. thanks for the tip, I 'll use that next time. I don't think this chick liked me anyway. She didn't smile at me or anything just answered my question and continued on her way.
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I would want to be approached directly with the guy asking me out or for sex as I dislike approaches that are indirect hiding the reason you're approaching me or using the expectation societal politeness. In groceries stores I usually ignore guys who ask for help or make comments about my cart as most likely they're not interested in help or my grocery selection. As for what should you have said that depends on the gal and likely it doesn't matter what you said as she wasn't interested in you.
Bristolius Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I would want to be approached directly with the guy asking me out or for sex as I dislike approaches that are indirect hiding the reason you're approaching me or using the expectation societal politeness. In groceries stores I usually ignore guys who ask for help or make comments about my cart as most likely they're not interested in help or my grocery selection. As for what should you have said that depends on the gal and likely it doesn't matter what you said as she wasn't interested in you. But what if the reason a guy speaks to you is to learn if he's interested in you?
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 But what if the reason a guy speaks to you is to learn if he's interested in you? I addressed that with approach directly rather than indirectly hiding the reason or using the expectation of societal politeness. If a guy's reason for speaking to me is to learn if he's interested in me then he's better off getting a response from me by telling me so rather ask for help as if he's interested in help, make comments about my groceries as if he's interested in my groceries, or find ways to talk to me under the guise of polite conversation/chit chat with no romantic/sexual interest or consideration.
brahmabull117 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I addressed that with approach directly rather than indirectly hiding the reason or using the expectation of societal politeness. If a guy's reason for speaking to me is to learn if he's interested in me then he's better off getting a response from me by telling me so rather ask for help as if he's interested in help, make comments about my groceries as if he's interested in my groceries, or find ways to talk to me under the guise of polite conversation/chit chat with no romantic/sexual interest or consideration. You can't walk up to a girl and hit on her like that right away. You need some polite small talk before you get personal
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 You can't walk up to a girl and hit on her like that right away. You need some polite small talk before you get personal Quite unsure why you're telling me this as my response was to the question "what if the reason a guy speaks to you is to learn if he's interested in you?" and nowhere in my response do I state, suggest, or imply I was speaking for any gal other than me. Technically with freedom of speech you can walk up to a gal and hit on her like that right way though different opinions as I don't consider it hitting on a gal to tell her you want to talk to her to find out if you're interested in her.
Leopard Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 In a situation where you have absolutely no idea, ask for advice. "I wish I ate that healthy. Are you following a certain plan or do you just throw fruit salads together as you please?" Library "I'm actually looking for a similar book to the one you're holding, would you recommend anything? "I read the same book! (lies) What part are you on now?" or "Oh! I've been thinking about getting that book/taking that course (if she's studying), how is it?" Anywhere else "I was thinking of getting shoes/earrings/purse for my sisters/mothers birthday (lies), and yours are really, really nice (lies?). Where did you get it/them? I'm so horrible when it comes to shopping for women..."
irc333 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 About 99% of the women I see at grocery stores have wedding bands on their left ring fingers. Some are even in their early 20's, so I don't even bother. I saw the hottest babe at the store today. She was getting some vegetables and I stealthily checked her out from a distance. By the time I was ready to approach her she had moved on to the bananas. All I could think of saying at the time was sexual innuendo. So I just passed, then I saw her in the checkout line and got in behind her. I noticed what she was buying and said "Wow that is a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables". She replied "Yea I try to eat healthy so I have to exercise less". I know it was very lame. How would you want to be approached? What should have I said? Thanks in advance.
Bristolius Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I addressed that with approach directly rather than indirectly hiding the reason or using the expectation of societal politeness. If a guy's reason for speaking to me is to learn if he's interested in me then he's better off getting a response from me by telling me so rather ask for help as if he's interested in help, make comments about my groceries as if he's interested in my groceries, or find ways to talk to me under the guise of polite conversation/chit chat with no romantic/sexual interest or consideration. On noticing a woman, my question would be, for example, does this woman like friendly chat or does she communicate off-putting opinions with bizarre circumlocutions.
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) On noticing a woman, my question would be, for example, does this woman like friendly chat or does she communicate off-putting opinions with bizarre circumlocutions. If that's an attempt at analogy with me as the woman then we have different views as for me there's quite a difference between 'friendly chat' and 'indirect attempt at hitting on me under the guise of a friendly chat with no romantic or sexual intentions'. Seeing as how all my statements have been about the latter it seems you equate 'friendly chat' to 'indirect attempt at hitting on a woman using a guise to hide romantic or sexual intentions'. Bit curious as to how preferring a guy be direct about his interest rather than feign interest or needing help is an off-putting opinion. More curious as where are the bizarre circumlocutions in since I prefer a guy to be direct he'll get a better response when he is direct than indirect. I'm not seeing anything ambigous or roundabout in that. Edited August 8, 2012 by udolipixie
Imajerk17 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) I saw the hottest babe at the store today. She was getting some vegetables and I stealthily checked her out from a distance. By the time I was ready to approach her she had moved on to the bananas. All I could think of saying at the time was sexual innuendo. So I just passed, then I saw her in the checkout line and got in behind her. I noticed what she was buying and said "Wow that is a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables". She replied "Yea I try to eat healthy so I have to exercise less". I know it was very lame. How would you want to be approached? What should have I said? Thanks in advance. This is coming from someone who has done A LOT of approaches, probably more than anyone else here, maybe more than everyone else here COMBINED. The way to handle it next time is "Excuse me, I saw you over here... and I had to come over and talk to you." If you're nervous own it. I used to do that a lot and I will do that if I am somewhere that I've never been before OR in a big city where I am pretty sure no one knows who I am or has seen me around before. I tend to approach "indirect" more now because I live in a small town and I've done a lot of approaches, and so I wonder if I had approached the girl before or had seen her around. But even if I go "indirect" I make my interest known. I'll tell her that I noticed her and came over to talk to her, or (preferred) she will tell me something super-cool about herself and THEN I will act interested. Meanwhile, you measure success less by the outcome and more by the fact that you went over. Even if she tells you to get lost, it was still a success as long as you went over. Edited August 8, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
Vintage79 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I've had some very successful grocery store connections with women. In my view, the key is creating multiple points of contact. She's there shopping, and probably going to buy more than one thing - if you bump into several times during the shopping experience - the bananas, spinach, cereal, whatever - each time say something - and by the second or third time you bump into her, it gets funny, simply say something like, "oh my, not you again", or if you're a bit more bold, "stop stalking me woman!" - jokingly of course. Keep each relatively short, so it seems like random contact. Then hope for the checkout line, where you can get a few more minutes. Lead in with the, "not you again" stuff, and transition into a real question about what's she's cooking, or something else. The previous contact essentially takes her guard down, so she will feel much more comfortable talking. Best case is if you can figure out what she's doing that evening. A lot of women if they are shopping have a slow evening planned. So if she's not buying a lot of dairy/frozen items, after a few short blurbs in the checkout line, tell her that you're going to grab coffee or something across the street and that she should join you...worst case, ask if you can help take her groceries to her car, and if nothing happens, you can feel good about yourself for helping someone out. Groceries at the car is a great place to ask for a number - as you get a few more minutes of talk en route to the car/unpacking (and she feels like she owes you something for helping her out...) It's not perfect, but it's worked for me quite well. Unfortunately you can't always force the progression - sometimes they're leaving when you're getting there...oh well.
Imajerk17 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I've had some very successful grocery store connections with women. In my view, the key is creating multiple points of contact. She's there shopping, and probably going to buy more than one thing - if you bump into several times during the shopping experience - the bananas, spinach, cereal, whatever - each time say something - and by the second or third time you bump into her, it gets funny, simply say something like, "oh my, not you again", or if you're a bit more bold, "stop stalking me woman!" - jokingly of course. Keep each relatively short, so it seems like random contact. Then hope for the checkout line, where you can get a few more minutes. Lead in with the, "not you again" stuff, and transition into a real question about what's she's cooking, or something else. The previous contact essentially takes her guard down, so she will feel much more comfortable talking. Best case is if you can figure out what she's doing that evening. A lot of women if they are shopping have a slow evening planned. So if she's not buying a lot of dairy/frozen items, after a few short blurbs in the checkout line, tell her that you're going to grab coffee or something across the street and that she should join you...worst case, ask if you can help take her groceries to her car, and if nothing happens, you can feel good about yourself for helping someone out. Groceries at the car is a great place to ask for a number - as you get a few more minutes of talk en route to the car/unpacking (and she feels like she owes you something for helping her out...) It's not perfect, but it's worked for me quite well. Unfortunately you can't always force the progression - sometimes they're leaving when you're getting there...oh well. Interesting, but it seems to me that this approach depends on a lot of logistical issues going right: That she will be in the store long enough for you to bump into her--what if she is in the store for a couple things. That you time getting into the line at the same time she does--without YOU looking like you're trying too hard to follow her. I'm also not sure about the carrying her groceries to her car either. With carts and all it's easy for her to do it herself and what if she doesn't want you to see the insides of her messy car. Anyway. if she would let you do that, then she surely would have given you her number in the checkout line--or earlier. I'm all for Keeping It Simple and this is too complicated for my tastes.
Imajerk17 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) It's not complicated guys. If she would respond to something more involved like you "accidentally" running into her a few times then she would respond to you striking up a conversation the first time you see her. Keep in mind that women generally like being approached. As long as you are respectful of her space and of any DISinterest, and realize that she needs a minute to get warmed up to talking to you, you ought to be fine. Edited August 8, 2012 by Imajerk17
Vintage79 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Fair enough - it is a bit complicated - but truthfully, I don't go in and target someone and then try to implement this strategy. Basically, when I get close to someone that I find attractive/interesting, I say something - and if I happen to run into them again, I do the same thing at which point it's interesting and natural...this goes a long way in disarming people as opposed to getting the, "oh god, not another guy" eye roll...although if you're eye candy, that response would be clearly be different. If you see someone and you want to get their number immediately - that's tough - I'd probably hope that they take a long checkout line and that they have something interesting in their cart to talk about. I don't have much experience doing that - I will talk to people in line, but don't really ask for numbers unless there is a bit more of a connection. I can imagine it coming across as, "oh - you like spinach as well - can I have your number" As for groceries to her car - obviously that only works in some situations...but it's a solid in, and I do think that some people would be more willing to give you their number after you help them as opposed to simply chatting them up in line. It can be awkward to tell them that you'll help them prior to them checking out - as they then have to wait for you while you check out (someone that they don't know). It's worked well for me when I see someone unloading their cart at the store's entrance - I assume they'll walk them to their car - people are pretty receptive, in particular if you start with, "oh my - that's a lot, do you want some help" as opposed to making it seem like a pick-up.
O'farrell Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I saw the hottest babe at the store today. She was getting some vegetables and I stealthily checked her out from a distance. By the time I was ready to approach her she had moved on to the bananas. All I could think of saying at the time was sexual innuendo. So I just passed, then I saw her in the checkout line and got in behind her. I noticed what she was buying and said "Wow that is a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables". She replied "Yea I try to eat healthy so I have to exercise less". I know it was very lame. How would you want to be approached? What should have I said? Thanks in advance. op you don't think what she said was funny? Let me teach you op you were supposed to laugh at that then say something relating to the veggies. Like blah blah Yea i tried that doesn't work for me I actually have to workout your lucky blah blah. After this if she replies she likes you ios she just says yea or ignores you shes not interested.
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