K4RM4 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Recently my girlfriend started coming in contact with someone she used to like. They have also been friends for a long time and I know she used to like him for a fact because her friend told me (i havent really asked her about him). First, it began with him texting her a picture of her from a long time ago and the conversation went something like this: him: *picture* her: stalker him: hotness her: Im too hot to touch him: doggy style her: ??? him: dont act like you dont know what it means her: I dont him: fine her: your lamee I was pissed. Shes very religious and innocent so I know she wouldnt cheat but the whole nature and content of the message annoyed me. They dont meet in person as far as I know but the next day he messaged her and she asked why he didnt text her back and blah blah. She told me who she was messaging and stuff so she wasnt hiding anything, but she was kinda acting slightly funny, like she didnt want to say anything. She also told me he was "kind of weird and funny". It wouldnt be a big deal if I knew this guy, not personally, but knew who he was and stuff. Just the fact that I know she used to like him and shes now talking to him just bugs me. I know that it was in the past, but if she liked him then, whats stopping her from liking him now? Coupled with the fact that things have been a little bit dry between us and youve got one insecure boyfriend. I do still love her so much and I do still want to be with her 24/7 but not unless she wants the absolute same.
proseandpassion Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 How do you know about these texts? Did you sneak a peek at her phone or did she show you?
hopeful4someday Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Recently my girlfriend started coming in contact with someone she used to like. They have also been friends for a long time and I know she used to like him for a fact because her friend told me (i havent really asked her about him). First, it began with him texting her a picture of her from a long time ago and the conversation went something like this: him: *picture* her: stalker him: hotness her: Im too hot to touch him: doggy style her: ??? him: dont act like you dont know what it means her: I dont him: fine her: your lamee I was pissed. Shes very religious and innocent so I know she wouldnt cheat but the whole nature and content of the message annoyed me. They dont meet in person as far as I know but the next day he messaged her and she asked why he didnt text her back and blah blah. She told me who she was messaging and stuff so she wasnt hiding anything, but she was kinda acting slightly funny, like she didnt want to say anything. She also told me he was "kind of weird and funny". It wouldnt be a big deal if I knew this guy, not personally, but knew who he was and stuff. Just the fact that I know she used to like him and shes now talking to him just bugs me. I know that it was in the past, but if she liked him then, whats stopping her from liking him now? Coupled with the fact that things have been a little bit dry between us and youve got one insecure boyfriend. I do still love her so much and I do still want to be with her 24/7 but not unless she wants the absolute same. This conversation looks a lot like one a younger me might have had with someone who was making me uncomfortable, before I found the self confidence to nip it in the bud directly. I wouldn't worry about it too much if she hasn't given you other reasons to think she's looking for a replacement. On the other hand, I might recommend worrying about HIM, because it looks like he may be trying to move in on your turf. On that front, all I can say is be the best partner you can be and hope the awesomeness that is you as a loving boyfriend overshadows any crap any other guys try to distract her with. Guys seem to take special pleasure in trying to steal girls who have boyfriends and the best defense, from a girl's point of view, is to make sure that when she weighs her options she sees you as the no-contest winner.
Author K4RM4 Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 How do you know about these texts? Did you sneak a peek at her phone or did she show you? I looked at her phone. Wasnt snooping for cheating evidence or anything but the conversation did catch my eye. Thanks for the help. I think he broke up with his girlfriend recently or something. Im not sure if thats affected his view of my girlfriend as a "rebound", or something but theres plenty of single girls out there. Both my girlfriend and the guy are religious so I dont know if that will deter any possible cheating thoughts. i feel like im just being paranoid, but I cant help it when I know my girlfriend liked this guy.
The Way I Am Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 The exchange seems like he was trying to hit on her, but she wasn't participating. She was blowing him off. Then he contacted her again, and she told you about it. The only even somewhat suspicious thing is that she was acting "slightly funny" about it. But she could have been acting that way because she didn't want you to be jealous when there's no reason to be. From a girl's perspective, it's unattractive when a guy gets insecure about something like this. Unless she gives you any other reason to worry about what she's doing with this guy, don't give it another thought. Also, try to avoid "catching your eye" on conversations in your gf's phone.
Janesays Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Yeah, she was blowing him off. Doesn't seem to me like she's interested, so I say you have nothing to worry about.
Leigh 87 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 It looks like she is too nice to tell him to eff off, so she let him down gently. My boyfriend had the same issues as you did - if a guy hit on me, he would want me to tell them to f*ck off.... However, it is more my style to simply let them down gently, and to inform them that I love my boyfriend, and that I will let them know if I have any cool single friends instead.... My boyfriend is fine with it, because he knows what I mean but it; I do not like telling people to eff off, so I simply tell them that I am not interested in sex, in a nice way. Although he WOULD rather me tell them to go away........... He accepts my way of dealing with it is different, lol.
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