ding dong Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 Let me give you some back ground... We have been together for 11.5 months, we started dating in Aug 2011 and in Nov 2011 we split up for roughly 2 - 2.5 months, prior to the break we were fighting like cats and dogs and it was almost a daily battle. When she moved out of my house she went 100% NC on me and even changed her phone number. She swore up and down that she was through and would never be back. I got an ugly email from her roughly a month after the initial split and basically by late January 2012 we were seeing each other again, by march 2012 she moved back into my house... From March 2012 until July 11, 2012 the relationship was simply amazing, we hardly ever fought like we used too and we cut out basically all drinking and things that distracted from our relationship i.e.: certain friends, social networking, drinking, and going out to bar type places and so on... I fully dedicated myself to her and the future of our relationship. Im self employed and began building my company up again, we looked at purchasing investment property for rental income, and all in all it was clear to me that we had an amazing future ahead of us... I was wrong, I became so gung ho about building our future....I forgot about her needs and I neglected to hear her when she told me she felt like an accessory to me instead of apart of me...On July 11, 2012 when I was gone to take care of a business deal she packed up and moved out in a hurry.... She again initiated NC, however this time she just blocked me from calling her cell phone and did not change her number. She left behind numerous clothing items, a few shirts, lots of panties, shoes, and some expensive sunglasses. She also left behind some expensive bedroom furniture. Just to note the first time she left she also left a ton of clothing times here, far more clothes than were left this time...she also has kept the garage door opener to our home and security gate pass (we live in a gated community) to enter our housing track. About a week prior to her leaving our relationship was going through some strains with outside problems with my son's mother which certainly didn't help my relationship situation. I guess the straw that broke the camels back was she sort of told a white lie and I got upset and took things too far and called her work and involved someone with her work who shouldn't have been involved in our problems...it could have cost her job, she LOVES her job and is amazing at what she does.. In the end, the neglect and getting upset over the white lie made me look like a selfish, self absorbed fool... Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since she has been gone. I have used that time to focus on myself and I know exactly where I went wrong in not showing her the proper attention she needed. I reached out to her on a Sunday after 4 days of her being gone and left a voicemail on her phone letting her know I was open to talk when she was ready and that she can come home whenever she wishes and that I was sorry. I kept it short and sweet and didn't beg or plead, just let her know I was ok and was trying to check on her. I truly believe that going NC the first time helped us TREMENDOUSLY! and it really showed when we fully got back together and she moved back in our house in March. Now split again and NC, as always I have serious concerns if she will come back again???... If she left and swore she would never be back and came back the first time, does that mean she might or will come back again? I really hope she does give it another chance and use the time and space away to come back and make the relationship stronger...The first time we split the fighting was insane and out of control, Im talking about shattered laptops, broken pictures, she would throw phones, it was horrific....2 - 2.5 months apart was needed, I really hope these less severe issues don't take 2+ months to get over.... I almost forgot... In the mean time I have been going out and spending time with friends, go out on the town meeting new people and so on. I have been hitting the gym hardcore again, looking great and have been getting more tattoo work done (im pretty much covered in tats) .. There have been lots of pictures posted of me out with a lesbian friend on Facebook and Instagram. The lesbian is a mutual friend who is much closer to me than her. On week 3 to the day of her leaving she tried to call the lesbian friend on her cell but she was at work. The lesbian friend text her and asked her what she needed and the ex responded and said "lol, youre a dumb b*tch" the lesbian responded and said "im sorry you feel that way", my ex responded and said "i really f*cking hate you" lesbian responded and said I dont have time to play youre dumb games, have a good night....it ended the conversation Just curious, but is my ex showing signs of jealousy? That all happend on a Wednesday, then Friday or Saturday I was called by a close friend who said my ex had went out on a few dates with a local douchebag and on their 4th night out she broke into tears at the dinner table asking if they were together in relationship of not?.... Help me out here....I do want her back, but Im having trouble sorting this all out..
Author ding dong Posted August 7, 2012 Author Posted August 7, 2012 I wanted to add that she still has some expensive bedroom furniture in the house with some clothes and a few expensive minor items. She also has the garage door opener and gate pass to get into our house. Her mail still comes here as well... First off in 4 weeks no contact has been made to return the garage door opener or retrieve her furniture. In fact when we found out about her going out on a few dates with the local guy the lesbian asked her is she would make arrangements to get her things and she said I could keep them?!?!...She said this before when we split the first time in November. She also told the lesbian she would remove the gate pass from the car, a friend saw her car yesterday and the gate pass was still in place... I guess bottom line is this is almost an exact repeat of what happened when we split in November.... 98% of my friends say she will be back again...
dannykeyz831 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 If things don't change between the two of you, it will the beginning of an endless cycle. I just recently broke up with my ex gf for the 4th time. Every breakup has been both of our faults. Although, I take the majority of the blame for not really changing myself towards her. You see I have this bad habit of getting too comfortable in a relationship like most other guys here and by the time you know, they're gone. Like you mentioned earlier, women see this as us treating them like objects. In your case, you got too involved with work and got too comfortable that you ended up neglecting her. Relationships require a ton of work. We need to constantly be reminding them of why they fell in love with us. Funny that you mentioned your ex gf changing her number and then blocking your number because my ex gf did the same thing too. She has changed her number 2 twice on me and has blocked me numerous times as well. If she didn't care, she wouldn't go through all that trouble of changing her number or blocking you. If you aren't stalking her or harassing her then its a good sign. I'm not saying she's coming back but I can almost guarantee it. Oh and that fact that she left her stuff at your place is another sign that its not over between the two of you. I'm just saying this from experience but every relationship is different so who knows. Hope everything works out buddy!
Author ding dong Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 If things don't change between the two of you, it will the beginning of an endless cycle. I just recently broke up with my ex gf for the 4th time. Every breakup has been both of our faults. Although, I take the majority of the blame for not really changing myself towards her. You see I have this bad habit of getting too comfortable in a relationship like most other guys here and by the time you know, they're gone. Like you mentioned earlier, women see this as us treating them like objects. In your case, you got too involved with work and got too comfortable that you ended up neglecting her. Relationships require a ton of work. We need to constantly be reminding them of why they fell in love with us. Funny that you mentioned your ex gf changing her number and then blocking your number because my ex gf did the same thing too. She has changed her number 2 twice on me and has blocked me numerous times as well. If she didn't care, she wouldn't go through all that trouble of changing her number or blocking you. If you aren't stalking her or harassing her then its a good sign. I'm not saying she's coming back but I can almost guarantee it. Oh and that fact that she left her stuff at your place is another sign that its not over between the two of you. I'm just saying this from experience but every relationship is different so who knows. Hope everything works out buddy! Thank you for your response and input... My gut feeling is that my silence and the fact that I have literally vanished into thin air is beginning to effect her. She has been downloading some sad songs on our itunes account that she has no idea I know how to check. She downloaded this last night Now Im not trying to over read into things....but again instinct tells me Im on her mind now...We have been No Contact for 4 weeks yesterday, just a hunch but I think I might be hearing something soon. The other night she downloaded a song that she always played when we had sex... Again, not reading too far into things....just being very hopeful, however Im not going to make coming back easy...
Author ding dong Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 Well...update 5 weeks and 2 days, I get a call from her at 330am on my cell...ignored it, then she called house phone, ignored it...then I got a couple of texts... 1st text said "F*cking Call Me! 2nd text said "The fact that you didnt delete the voicemail at the house is sick". The home phone has he voice on it and says you have reached our home...blah blah blah... Honestly, no one calls our house and I never thought to change it... I cant call her from any of my phones cause im blocked from calling her. So I text her from my ipad via email and told her I couldnt call her and if she needed anything?....she responded a few hours later saying "Sorry My Bad"... not a peep since...I feel like Im back at day 1 of the breakup now...but i think she is trying to communicate to come back.. Your thoughts?
lil hoodlum Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 3:30 AM? Maybe she was drunk or had been drinking. Who knows how many more chances the two or you will have to be together before you split for good. I would suggest have a real honest and frank discussion the problems that ya'll have. Maybe couples counseling can help to move beyond these issues. I am curious, how old are the two of you?
Author ding dong Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) I am curious, how old are the two of you? Im 37, she is 21.... however I look like im 27... I forgot to add another thing... She has been seeing someone according to some friends, I actually ran into them together on 2 different occasions out at the bars. The last time I saw them he was up in her face yelling at her in the corner of a bar. They both saw me the first time I ran into them and she tried to hide from me so I couldnt see her. The second time I saw them they had no idea i was there... In the mean time I have been out, sort of the man about town...Im seen everywhere and pics are all over facebook and instagram...Im positive she is seeing them and hearing it from mutual friends. Drunk or not she broke No Contact and broke down enough to call me...it's a start and pretty much the same thing that happend the first time we split Edited August 17, 2012 by ding dong
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