lovejoy41 Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 (edited) Just wanted to post an update. Most of you may have seen or can see my original posts on "5yrFWB Sucks" under the Friends & Lovers forum & a more in depth story at "1WK NC FWB" under Breaks & Break Up forum. I am getting better each day. I find that the more I cry, the less I cry. Crying really helps you get it out. At first, I felt like an idiot for crying so much over someone who had simply used me for their benefit but I know now how important it is to cry as it has helped me heal greatly. I used to workout@ the gym hardcore, but haven't been in a few weeks. I am finding that the desire to go is starting to come back. I haven't seen him since 7/3 & he hasn't reached out to me since 8/3 with the (what's up"?) text and I'm ok with that, considering all of the horrible things that he said to me in the previous weeks before he texted. He knows that what I've found out about his current situation(live-in gf, her meeting his parents) in addition to the horrible things that he said hurt me(probably doesn't care but does know) & the text was probably nothing more than a "booty-call" (a invite for a night out with dinner, drinks, fancy hotel) or just breadcrumbs to see if I still "love" him as I had foolishly stated to him in the past. Fortunately for me he will never know because I didn't respond. The best advice I can give is to take it one day at a time. To think positive, and take control over your thoughts. Heck, it's not easy but sometimes I just have to shift my thoughts when I think of him. Then sometimes I just cave in to those thoughts because I know that missing that fool is part of the process in walking away. If nothing else, I'm glad that I loved myself enough to walk away from a FWB relationship that was headed nowhere. Eventhough he's a real a**, I would be lying if I said that I didn't love him(unfortunately that's how true love works) but I love myself way more. Besides they say, if you love someone, you should love them enough to let them go. Maybe one day he'll miss all that I gave him, apologize, and show up at my doorstep on 1 knee with a ring. Well,that's what my heart would like to believe, but trust me I'm not holding my breath for that one. For me, walking away and not knowing if he'll ever change is way better than staying and finding out that he won't. Sometimes if you want things to change, it's you that has to change it regardless of the results. We all are going through but I challenge us all to stay strong and to know that we all deserve a chance to be loved by someone who loves us just as much as we love them. Remember you're not alone & YOU deserve the best. True love starts with loving yourself & I love myself some ME. Edited August 7, 2012 by lovejoy41 1
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