KungFuJoe Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Personally, i wouldn't be with a woman who wouldn't let me go to strip clubs. The key is to be with someone who has the same moral compass as yourself. 3
chrissylee Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) Getting a dance from a stripper who they can't even touch = same thing as cheating? How naive do you think women REALLY are? Touching happens all the time in lap dances. I think it is really funny how guys like to use the, "but theres no touching" to make it seem ok. Edited August 9, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
brahmabull117 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 How naive do you think women REALLY are? Touching happens all the time in lap dances. I think it is really funny how guys like to use the, "but theres no touching" to make it seem ok. Some places don't allow it, others do Anyways. It's beside the point. I actually agree with you that a guy going to a strip club by himself is stupid but going there for a bachelor party when it's not even his idea? I dunno how anybody who is not a jealous freak can be bothered by that
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 You know if there's ever a thread about strip clubs or porn, disenchantedly yours is going to be there preaching about how men looking at nude women will annihilate every marriage and means that that the man has no respect and couldn't care less about a wife. You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Give it a break, DY. You're making a huge deal out of nothing. It's nothing to you. It's not nothing to some women. 1
brahmabull117 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Have you considered becoming a religious preacher? You can go teach kids about the evils of masturbation, porn and anything else that feels good. That sounds like a perfect job for you It's nothing to you. It's not nothing to some women. So you're going to ban your man from going to a Bachelor party because he might see a pair of tits? http://files.sharenator.com/sense_this_picture_makes_none_thumbnail_whats_your_epic_profile_pic-s500x625-99907-580.jpg
proseandpassion Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I would never, ever, ever expect my SO to stop looking at porn (FOR THE RECORD, I think I watched MORE PORN THAN EVER when I was in my last relationship), wouldn't expect them to stop ogling women, wouldn't expect them to stop fantasizing about other women, nor would I expect them to NEVER be tempted. There is a big difference between watching porn and porking strippers. I love watching (certain) porn, I have crazy sexual fantasies, and I can do all this while being completely committed and crazy head-over-heels in love with my partner. It seems a few dissenting voices on this thread have had bad experiences and while it is unfortunate that happened to those thread participants, there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. 2
brahmabull117 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I would never, ever, ever expect my SO to stop looking at porn (FOR THE RECORD, I think I watched MORE PORN THAN EVER when I was in my last relationship), wouldn't expect them to stop ogling women, wouldn't expect them to stop fantasizing about other women, nor would I expect them to NEVER be tempted. There is a big difference between watching porn and porking strippers. I love watching (certain) porn, I have crazy sexual fantasies, and I can do all this while being completely committed and crazy head-over-heels in love with my partner. It seems a few dissenting voices on this thread have had bad experiences and while it is unfortunate that happened to those thread participants, there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. The preacher Disenchantedly Yours is going to tell you how you're 100% wrong and how any man who even dares to look at a picture of a Victoria's secret model may as well be having an affair
Negative Nancy Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 The fact that so many guys fall to peer pressure, or use their male friends as an excuse to go, isn't a great indicator of a man's strength to begin with. truer words were never spoken
Leigh 87 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Chrissylee- Of course, a guy who really loves his partner, would NOT go to s trip club, if it is something that would hurt her! That is why I believe my own partner loves me; he would not go if I told him it really hurt and upset me. No wome should put up with a man who goes against their wishes. There are may guys who WOULDN'T have an issue with not going to strip clubs, so of coruse life is too short for wome who are against strip clubs, to necessarily stay with a man who disprecpects her wishes in this way. You and kathym are just in the opinion that aqy guy who looks at another girl and gets sexual thoughts about them, is not THAT in love with their partners. Your very traditional - I did not mean to insult you, I just strongly disagree with you.
communityFan Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Seems like women in this thread have the misconception that if a guy looks at a naked women, he won't be able control himself. If you are dating someone for whom you have spell out what is okay and what isn't then maybe you shouldn't be dating that man. If the OP actually trusts her BF then she should trust what he has told her. If she doesn't trust him, she should break up with him. Nothing more annoying than a nagging woman.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Here's what I said about it in another thread: I have an acquaintance who's a stripper, and she's told me some stories. She's worked at many different clubs, from trashy dive to high end, and I think it's quite telling that she says if she were in a relationship, she would never be OK with her boyfriend going to a strip club - and she'd never date a guy who goes to those places. (She's single, and says if she met a guy she wanted to get serious with, she would quit stripping.) She says it's very naive of women to think that their man is going to look but not touch. Just as men see the strippers as objects, the strippers view the customers as walking wallets (and creeps/losers who have to pay women to get naked). Those strippers have one goal and one goal only: separate customers from their money. That means enticing them to buy a lap dance, multiple lap dances, or preferably, time in the "champagne room" = greatest return on investment. And what does that mean? At the very least, the stripper rubbing her T&A all over the guy, most likely grinding him through his pants, possibly making him come. And all the way up to fingering, oral, hand jobs, blow jobs, etc. And yeah, she told me bachelor parties were the biggest cash cow, because the guys were usually drunk in a pack and egging each other on to get as wild as possible with the strippers - more lap dances and sexual favors = more money. 2
chrissylee Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 You know what all you guys and girls bitching about Wedding traditions, you call sit home while everyone else and goes to enjoy traditions. . A bachelor party at a strip club is one wedding tradition that people need to sto doing. A guy is about to pledge his supposed love to the one person he wants to spend the rest of his life with and he celebrates by going out and having naked women grind all over him? I think there are better ways to celebrate getting married without disrespecting your entire relationship and making a huge fool out of your soon to be wife. 2
RickyLovesLucy Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 A bachelor party at a strip club is one wedding tradition that people need to sto doing. A guy is about to pledge his supposed love to the one person he wants to spend the rest of his life with and he celebrates by going out and having naked women grind all over him? I think there are better ways to celebrate getting married without disrespecting your entire relationship and making a huge fool out of your soon to be wife. Personally I wouldn't shed a tear if that tradition disappeared. In that sense I totally agree with you. But really, every couple gets to make their own decisions. Some women aren't bothered by it; other women aren't bothered by open marriages. I can't explain why some women would be OK with either of those things, but they are.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 brahmabull Have you considered becoming a religious preacher? You can go teach kids about the evils of masturbation, porn and anything else that feels good. That sounds like a perfect job for you I hope we can include "kicking puppies" in my degree! So you're going to ban your man from going to a Bachelor party because he might see a pair of tits? I've never banned another adult from doing anything. I do pay attention to what a man may believe and if it fits with me or not. I have an ex-boyfriend that told me about the time him and his dad went to a strip club and that they couldn't tell his mom because she would have been "upset". So what was the answer? To go without her knowing. I lost a lot of respect for him and his dad that they had some father-son bonding over something they knew would hurt his mother. And why? All so they could see some 18 year old breasts? I thought it about long and hard and said to myself, "Well if him and his father lied about going to his Mother, and his father didn't even step in and treat his own wife well, he would certainly lie about going if we were ever in that situation." I could see us being in a situation where he knew my feelings on it and would lie to me in a twisted attempt to "spare me" hurt feelings all so he could have what he wanted, time with real live young naked women, and me to come home to. That is not a situation that I would want to be in. At least give me the chance to make that choice for myself then lie and make me believe you are someone you aren't.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 I would never, ever, ever expect my SO to stop looking at porn (FOR THE RECORD, I think I watched MORE PORN THAN EVER when I was in my last relationship), wouldn't expect them to stop ogling women, wouldn't expect them to stop fantasizing about other women, nor would I expect them to NEVER be tempted. There is a big difference between watching porn and porking strippers. I love watching (certain) porn, I have crazy sexual fantasies, and I can do all this while being completely committed and crazy head-over-heels in love with my partner. It seems a few dissenting voices on this thread have had bad experiences and while it is unfortunate that happened to those thread participants, there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. I don't expect a person to never ever be tempted either. It's what you do with the temptation that matters. For some people, they are fine with them acting out their temptations to a certain point. For some people, that point is porn, for other's it isn't. For some people it's strip clubs, for other's it isn't. For other's it's strip clubs but with "rules", for some it isn't. Don't make negative assumptions about other people's experiences just because they have different beliefs from them. What is unfortunate is to set up a situation where these people, thta you see as "unfortunate", are somehow damanged more then you. I wonder how much longer though we can hold onto this belief that all fantasy is harmless. There is nothing in this life where "all" of it is "harmless". Even if you drink too much water, it's bad for you. There is a point where fantasy, like anything else, has it's pluses and minuses.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 The preacher Disenchantedly Yours is going to tell you how you're 100% wrong and how any man who even dares to look at a picture of a Victoria's secret model may as well be having an affair Hallelujah! Amen Brother!
BetheButterfly Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 (edited) My boyfriend is going to a bachelor party this weekend, and I didn't have any nervousness about it until today. He told me details of the party that I didn't know before, and I asked him if he thought they might end up at a strip club. He said that the bachelor himself is not into that, but he doesn't know about the other guys. If they all get drunk enough, they might end up at one, he's not sure. He told me he doesn't like them, finds them to be skeevy, etc. At this point in the conversation I told him that I won't ever tell him what he can or can't do, but that it would really bother me if he ended up at one. I don't like anything about them and having worked in law enforcement, I *know* what goes on at them behind the scenes. I trust my boyfriend, but this possibility has me upset. He posed to me, "Well, you would make me wait outside if they ended up at one?" No, I don't suppose that would be fair. He did say, "If we end up at one, I hope you'd trust me that I wouldn't do anything improper." That's just it; I think it's improper to BE at one if you're in a serious relationship (unless the woman indicates she's perfectly okay with it.) Well, I'm not one of those women. I'm feeling pretty upset now about this, but I am doing my best to keep my composure and not put him in a position where he may opt out of the evening (I want him to go). Am I allowed to express to him, simply, that I am not okay with my partner going to a strip club? I would never ask him to not go just because they *might* end up at a strip club, but I can tell you that I will certainly be hurt if he ends up at one. Very hurt. The kind of hurt that might take a few days to get over, and I don't want that for our relationship. I'm at a loss... I'm caught between a rock and a hard place, and don't see any compromise as realistic. Ideas? I'm well aware that I'll be met with opposition on this from posters, and that's fine. I'm looking for unbiased insight. I will say, however, that he is the best man I've ever been in a relationship with. I've had dilemmas in the past over my bf's going to strip clubs, and I didn't give a second thought to telling them I'd leave them if they went, but that's probably because those relationships were pretty crappy to begin with. This relationship is far from crappy, and I want to do my best to preserve it. Before my husband and I got married, he didn't have a Bachelor's party and I didn't have a Bachelorette party. Our friends in the area did have a party for us but we were all together, him and me. We ate and talked and enjoyed spending time with them. A few friends also gave us presents but we didn't ask for anything. My hubby thinks Bachelor parties are ridiculous and a waste of money. I'm glad he does. Instead of your boyfriend going to a silly Bachelor party, why doesn't he simply give money to the happy couple for them to spend TOGETHER on their honeymoon? He can spend quality time with his friend going fishing or watching a game or something they like to do that doesn't involve watching naked girls dancing? I understand why you're upset. I wouldn't even date a guy who wants to go to a strip club. It's against my personal beliefs and I am glad to find a wonderful man shares the same beliefs as me. He takes me out to dinner or on other dates when we can afford to, rather than go with his friends to a strip club. Your boyfriend doesn't have to go. He could just say, hey I don't want to go to a strip club but you want to go fishing or hang out or something another day before the Big Day? It's not hard, unless a person is so weak they can't stand up for what they themselves want to do or don't want to do. Edited August 9, 2012 by BetheButterfly 1
BetheButterfly Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 A bachelor party at a strip club is one wedding tradition that people need to sto doing. A guy is about to pledge his supposed love to the one person he wants to spend the rest of his life with and he celebrates by going out and having naked women grind all over him? I think there are better ways to celebrate getting married without disrespecting your entire relationship and making a huge fool out of your soon to be wife. Totally agree. Bachelorette parties where ladies go see guys is not a good way to start a marriage either! Wedding shows are cool though I have been to several co-ed wedding showers... not too long ago they were just bridal showers only for ladies but that is changing, and I like the change. I didn't have a bridal shower and we didn't have a wedding shower, but that's because we specifically asked not for one. We already have everything we need and my hubby and I like to pick out my lingerie lol.
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