Possible visit to a strip club...

[RickyLovesLucy]

Only at the raunchiest, underage places. Those places usually don't stay open for long.

 

Classy places where most 'normal' guys end up for bachelor parties = Liquor + Topless only.

 

Bottoms aren't usually allowed to come off if there's a full bar. Va-jay-jay and Johnnie Walker = bad mix.

 

It shocks me how little women know about strip clubs.

 

ALL of your men have been. ALL OF THEM...

 

I worked at a place where half of the guys from work used to go for LUNCH on occasion. All nice, normal guys. Not skeeves or players wanna be types. A number of them had girlfriends. Yes, for lunch...

So, it's not that men risk transmitting STIs to their partners by drinking booze out of a stripper's crotch. Men risk transmitting STIs to their partners by drinking booze out of a minor's crotch. I might be misunderstanding you, but that actually sounds worse.

 

Also, while I understand that going to strip clubs represents your experience, it does not represent mine. It is a mis-statement to say that all men attend strip clubs.

[EasyHeart]

No one wants to be debbie downer and dictate what their boyfriend can do.

You're kidding, right? This whole thread is about women who want to treat their boyfriends/husbands as pets.

[Els]

You're kidding, right? This whole thread is about women who want to treat their boyfriends/husbands as pets.

 

To be fair, in every relationship there IS a component of 'dictating what sort of behaviour with the opposite sex you feel is appropriate'. Most people in healthy Rs try to establish this in a reciprocal and mature fashion, ie 'You doing this makes me uncomfortable and I feel it is out of bounds for our R' 'Okay, I'll compromise in such and such a manner'... but it does exist. It's just in where the lines lie that the individual couples differ.

 

Are you okay with your girlfriend going with her gfs to a male stripper club? Maybe. Are you okay with her visiting male escorts who do not have sex with her, but just wine and dine her and maybe indulge her with some fetishes (male domination/submission, etc)? That's probably a lot more blurry. Hugging another guy? Maybe? Kissing another guy? No? Well, that's your boundary. Are you 'treating her like a pet' because you are laying down boundaries about what makes you uncomfortable? I highly doubt so, because we all have boundaries and we are all entitled to them, just as our partners are entitled to ignore them and do whatever they want - there are just consequences for that.

 

I don't understand the angst against the women who aren't okay with their boyfriends/husbands going to strip clubs. Is it YOU that she's preventing? No. I doubt she cares about whether YOU go or not. But if that makes her uncomfortable in HER relationship, she has every right to mention it. In fact, I think she is responsible for mentioning it, so that her bf knows what she is thinking. Her bf is a big boy, he can decide for himself whether or not those boundaries are reasonable or not to HIM, and act accordingly.

[Leigh 87]

I don't understand the angst against the women who aren't okay with their boyfriends/husbands going to strip clubs. Is it YOU that she's preventing? No. I doubt she cares about whether YOU go or not. But if that makes her uncomfortable in HER relationship, she has every right to mention it. In fact, I think she is responsible for mentioning it, so that her bf knows what she is thinking. Her bf is a big boy, he can decide for himself whether or not those boundaries are reasonable or not to HIM, and act accordingly.

 

 

 

 

I think the issue some guys have with it, is the fact that they KNOW they love their partners, but feel it is NATURAL to drool over and feel turned on by very attractive women.

They probably think they feel sexually attracted to models and actresses on TV most days, therefore why should a women expect her man NEVER to have sexual thoughts about other women again?

I think it would be very.... hard and unlikely that even guys who are really into and in love with their partners, would RARELY or EVER get turned on by looking at other girls....

 

That said - of course it is wrong to visit strip clubs if your partner is not comfortable with it. Every one should fine a mate who can give them what they need, and who they can trust to not do things that would inflict harm to the relationship.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Only at the raunchiest, underage places. Those places usually don't stay open for long.

 

Classy places where most 'normal' guys end up for bachelor parties = Liquor + Topless only.

 

Bottoms aren't usually allowed to come off if there's a full bar. Va-jay-jay and Johnnie Walker = bad mix.

 

It shocks me how little women know about strip clubs.

 

ALL of your men have been. ALL OF THEM...

 

I worked at a place where half of the guys from work used to go for LUNCH on occasion. All nice, normal guys. Not skeeves or players wanna be types. A number of them had girlfriends. Yes, for lunch...

 

There is no such thing as "classy" strip joints. They don't call them "Gentlemen Clubs" because they are filled with gentlemen. They call them this so guys can feel good about themselves, so they can believe they are a real "Gentlemen". "Look at me, I am such a "class act", a "Gentlemen", I go to watch naked ladies dance and it really excites me. Aren't I a good guy? Wow, look at that young hot babe. I am such a good guy aren't I? My wife/girlfriend is at home and here I am watching young hot babes. I am such a "Good guy/Gentlemen"."

 

If you want to go to a strip joint. Go. Just don't lie to yourself and say it's because your a good guy or that you are a Gentlemen or that strip clubs are "classy". Men don't go to strip clubs for the "class". You know it and I know it. Men don't go to strip clubs because they are Wholesome places like the Teddy Bear Factory.

 

I don't disagree with you that "normal", "not skeeves" guys go. Where we disagree is the respect factor. How many of those girlfriends knew what was going on? I bet all of them didn't know. And I bet it makes some guys feel real smug to treat their partner like that.

 

It's become male privilage that a man can go watch and enjoy other women sexually, even in celebration to his supposed commitment to one woman, in person and we try to justify it under, "as long as he doesn't get a lap dance". Please. How about showing the woman at home..you know..the woman that is with you, a little respect. Please don't try and say that going to look at other women is anything close to respectful or classy or "Gentlemenly" to your partner or even yourself. And if you want to go look at and enjoy other naked ladies, then break up with your girlfriend and let her have some pride. But we know that doesn't happen because that wouldn't enable a man to have his cake and eat it too.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

But even some some men who are really, really in love, look at a hot girl from time to time, and have sexual thoughts in relation to them.....

 

In my opinion, a man can be truly in love, and still have sexual thoughts about good looking women.

 

It is only when men think about other women sexually MORE than they do their own partners, that you have to worry! In my opinion....

 

This is just my opinion; I know guys who are CRAZY about their partners; and yet they still have sexual thoughts about other women.

 

Leigh, I agree with you. But happening across a hot woman from time to time on the street or in public and having a pull of lust is different then putting yourself in an environment that is purposely going to tease and titilate you.

 

Also, there is no way to know if a man thinks of other women sexually MORE then they do their own partners. How do you even meassure that? Tons of men spend lots of time with pornography today or just thinking of other women out and about everyday. Are we certain men in relationships are infact thinking of their own partner more often then other women? I am not so sure that's the case. A lot of men don't seem the most loyal of people in this regard.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

There is a very rare guy here that would be okay with his female partner going out for the night, all dolled up and looking goregous and getting tons of attention showered on her by other men.

 

Infact, I bet there is a rare guy here that if his female partner wanted to be the stripper, the woman that for a night danced naked to display her body to other men and reep the attention up, would feel okay with it. What if she did this in celebration to her marriage to you? She says, "I am going to be married, this is the last time I can do something like this, I am going to dance naked/amost naked infront of a bunch of other men. I won't give lap dances and I won't touch them but I would love to get the attention and praises." How many men, even if it was "once-in-awhile" would be okay with that? Very few of you would be! Yet you demand women be okay with you going to oggle other women. Whatever. A lot of men really like taking advantage of the situation here. Naked new breasts are more important then showing their partner respect.

[EasyHeart]

To be fair, in every relationship there IS a component of 'dictating what sort of behaviour with the opposite sex you feel is appropriate'. Most people in healthy Rs try to establish this in a reciprocal and mature fashion, ie 'You doing this makes me uncomfortable and I feel it is out of bounds for our R' 'Okay, I'll compromise in such and such a manner'... but it does exist. It's just in where the lines lie that the individual couples differ.

 

Are you okay with your girlfriend going with her gfs to a male stripper club? Maybe. Are you okay with her visiting male escorts who do not have sex with her, but just wine and dine her and maybe indulge her with some fetishes (male domination/submission, etc)? That's probably a lot more blurry. Hugging another guy? Maybe? Kissing another guy? No? Well, that's your boundary. Are you 'treating her like a pet' because you are laying down boundaries about what makes you uncomfortable? I highly doubt so, because we all have boundaries and we are all entitled to them, just as our partners are entitled to ignore them and do whatever they want - there are just consequences for that.

 

I don't understand the angst against the women who aren't okay with their boyfriends/husbands going to strip clubs. Is it YOU that she's preventing? No. I doubt she cares about whether YOU go or not. But if that makes her uncomfortable in HER relationship, she has every right to mention it. In fact, I think she is responsible for mentioning it, so that her bf knows what she is thinking. Her bf is a big boy, he can decide for himself whether or not those boundaries are reasonable or not to HIM, and act accordingly.

Sure, but there has to be some sort of reasonable basis for your "boundary". I once (briefly) dated a woman who didn't like the fact that I drank skim milk. I always made sure to buy some whole milk for her to drink, but she claimed that my not switching to her preferred dairy beverage showed that I didn't value her or the relationship. I put this sort of thing in the same category.

[EasyHeart]

There is a very rare guy here that would be okay with his female partner going out for the night, all dolled up and looking goregous and getting tons of attention showered on her by other men.

 

Infact, I bet there is a rare guy here that if his female partner wanted to be the stripper, the woman that for a night danced naked to display her body to other men and reep the attention up, would feel okay with it. What if she did this in celebration to her marriage to you? She says, "I am going to be married, this is the last time I can do something like this, I am going to dance naked/amost naked infront of a bunch of other men. I won't give lap dances and I won't touch them but I would love to get the attention and praises." How many men, even if it was "once-in-awhile" would be okay with that? Very few of you would be! Yet you demand women be okay with you going to oggle other women. Whatever. A lot of men really like taking advantage of the situation here. Naked new breasts are more important then showing their partner respect.

Sure, because those are completely different things.

 

If you're worried about your BF/husband cheating, then going to a strip club is the safest place for him to go. Strippers aren't going home with your BF; it's pretty easy to find a ONS in pretty much any bar.

[EasyHeart]

There is no such thing as "classy" strip joints. They don't call them "Gentlemen Clubs" because they are filled with gentlemen. They call them this so guys can feel good about themselves, so they can believe they are a real "Gentlemen". "Look at me, I am such a "class act", a "Gentlemen", I go to watch naked ladies dance and it really excites me. Aren't I a good guy? Wow, look at that young hot babe. I am such a good guy aren't I? My wife/girlfriend is at home and here I am watching young hot babes. I am such a "Good guy/Gentlemen"."

 

If you want to go to a strip joint. Go. Just don't lie to yourself and say it's because your a good guy or that you are a Gentlemen or that strip clubs are "classy". Men don't go to strip clubs for the "class". You know it and I know it. Men don't go to strip clubs because they are Wholesome places like the Teddy Bear Factory.

 

I don't disagree with you that "normal", "not skeeves" guys go. Where we disagree is the respect factor. How many of those girlfriends knew what was going on? I bet all of them didn't know. And I bet it makes some guys feel real smug to treat their partner like that.

 

It's become male privilage that a man can go watch and enjoy other women sexually, even in celebration to his supposed commitment to one woman, in person and we try to justify it under, "as long as he doesn't get a lap dance". Please. How about showing the woman at home..you know..the woman that is with you, a little respect. Please don't try and say that going to look at other women is anything close to respectful or classy or "Gentlemenly" to your partner or even yourself. And if you want to go look at and enjoy other naked ladies, then break up with your girlfriend and let her have some pride. But we know that doesn't happen because that wouldn't enable a man to have his cake and eat it too.

Most strip clubs nowadays are national chains that are publicly traded on the stock market. It's a thing that guys do a few times in their life for the novelty-factor. They're Disney World with over-priced drinks and nekkid boobies.

[ThaWholigan]

Psshh, I've been to a strip club - nothing to worry about ladies, it really isn't all that.

[venusianx13]

Thats exactly how I feel too. I wish women visited male strip clubs at least half as much as men do.

 

 

I ended up at one a few years ago...I didn't know what was going on at a club and a friend of mine really wanted to go dancing, so I went along. It happened to be a "special event" that night, and my friend wanted to stay. Wow, was it special... to be honest, I felt really uncomfortable. I kept thinking, "That's LEGAL?!!" It was raunch to the max.

 

At the end of our discussion, I did tell my boyfriend that if he ends up at a strip club, I reserve the right to go to a male one. He got very quiet.

[Els]

Sure, but there has to be some sort of reasonable basis for your "boundary". I once (briefly) dated a woman who didn't like the fact that I drank skim milk. I always made sure to buy some whole milk for her to drink, but she claimed that my not switching to her preferred dairy beverage showed that I didn't value her or the relationship. I put this sort of thing in the same category.

 

Yes - to you. Other people have different opinions of it. I have heard and seen the gamut of relationships, from those in which the bf did not allow the gf to even meet male friends in public places, to those in which both parties happily engage in sex with other people in swinger clubs. Who is to say they are wrong, and where the 'reasonable' limit lies? What is 'reasonable' to you may not be to another. All that matters is that both parties in a relationship are happy with it and willing to compromise on both sides.

 

If you feel not going to strip clubs is an unreasonable expectation and you are unwilling to compromise on that, then be with a woman who is okay with it. Considering how many people have brought up this issue as one that they are uncomfortable with, I don't think it is at all 'unreasonable'. I would not be happy with my bf going to a strip club without me, and he knows that. If, hypothetically, it was his best friend's bachelor party and he absolutely had to, I would let it go as a one-off occasion. Fortunately our culture doesn't uphold strip clubs as an integral part of the bachelor party, so that has not happened yet. That is just me, and my relationship. Yours will undoubtedly be different, but do not be so quick to judge others for being different from yourself.

[Els]

I ended up at one a few years ago...I didn't know what was going on at a club and a friend of mine really wanted to go dancing, so I went along. It happened to be a "special event" that night, and my friend wanted to stay. Wow, was it special... to be honest, I felt really uncomfortable. I kept thinking, "That's LEGAL?!!" It was raunch to the max.

 

At the end of our discussion, I did tell my boyfriend that if he ends up at a strip club, I reserve the right to go to a male one. He got very quiet.

 

Well, seems we're all good on that front.

[jobaba]

 

I don't disagree with you that "normal", "not skeeves" guys go. Where we disagree is the respect factor. How many of those girlfriends knew what was going on? I bet all of them didn't know. And I bet it makes some guys feel real smug to treat their partner like that.

 

 

It's possible to find a man who takes moral exception to going to a strip club. I had this conversation with my ex when I went for my best friend's bachelor party. She didn't like it and made me promise that I wouldn't go again. I didn't again for the whole time we dated (there's a good chance I wouldn't have anyway). And that is the only time I have gone when I was dating anybody (in fairness, I haven't dated a lot though).

 

I mean. You're right. Men are sleazy. Strip clubs are just the tip of the iceberg. There's WAY worse things I've seen guys in relationships do. The things I know...

 

I mean ... women are so ironic. They want a cool, successful, handsome guy who is popular. A guy who went to University of Michigan undergrad, Vanderbilt Law school, Sigma Chi fraternity.

 

I mean, your man used to be in a fraternity, and you expect/believe that guy has never been to a strip club for his buddies' bachelor party? L - O - L!

Edited August 8, 2012 by jobaba

[Ruby Slippers]

It's possible to find a man who takes moral exception to going to a strip club.

It's true. My business partner is a great guy, and he was telling me that he was going to the casino and some other things for a friend's bachelor party. He told his friends in advance that he would not be joining them if they went to a strip club, but would participate in everything else. No one gave him a hard time about it, but he said if they had, he would have explained that he thinks strip clubs are demoralizing and he doesn't need to pay women to get naked for him.

 

He was single at the time of this party, and he still didn't go to the strip club.

[RickyLovesLucy]

It's possible to find a man who takes moral exception to going to a strip club.

He stands before you. It seems to me that marriage, at least as traditionally defined, involves a pretty clear agreement to focus one's sexual energy on one's spouse.

 

Dating is more transitory by its very nature. That allows for more negotiation over what is allowable.

 

I kinda missed the irony here. Women want to date successful men. What about success necessarily implies strip club? To the contrary I've been involved with lots of hires and to be honest if an applicant exhibited a strong taste for strip clubs at his job interview, I probably would have sh*tcanned the application.

[jobaba]

It's true. My business partner is a great guy, and he was telling me that he was going to the casino and some other things for a friend's bachelor party. He told his friends in advance that he would not be joining them if they went to a strip club, but would participate in everything else. No one gave him a hard time about it, but he said if they had, he would have explained that he thinks strip clubs are demoralizing and he doesn't need to pay women to get naked for him.

 

He was single at the time of this party, and he still didn't go to the strip club.

 

Extremely rare. I first went to a strip club when I was in HIGH SCHOOL and I hung out with the nerdy, honors class kids. These were mostly guys who rarely drank and never did drugs. Lord even knows what the popular wild guys were doing. Sitting home and being respectful to their girlfriends I'm sure...

 

He stands before you. It seems to me that marriage, at least as traditionally defined, involves a pretty clear agreement to focus one's sexual energy on one's spouse.

 

Dating is more transitory by its very nature. That allows for more negotiation over what is allowable.

 

I kinda missed the irony here. Women want to date successful men. What about success necessarily implies strip club? To the contrary I've been involved with lots of hires and to be honest if an applicant exhibited a strong taste for strip clubs at his job interview, I probably would have sh*tcanned the application.

 

You have NEVER been or you haven't been since you have been married?

 

That's what we're discussing here.

 

The irony is that women want masculine, aggressive men, but expect them to be angels. Well. Not all women. Some have reasonable expectations.

Edited August 8, 2012 by jobaba

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Sure, but there has to be some sort of reasonable basis for your "boundary". I once (briefly) dated a woman who didn't like the fact that I drank skim milk. I always made sure to buy some whole milk for her to drink, but she claimed that my not switching to her preferred dairy beverage showed that I didn't value her or the relationship. I put this sort of thing in the same category.

 

Going to watch naked young women dance, putting yourself in a purposely sexual environment, is not the same thing as a parter having control issues to the point where you couldn't drink the milk you wanted. Those are entirely two seperate things.

 

Sure, because those are completely different things.

 

 

They aren't two seperate things. Men are generally more titilated by seeing naked women. Women are generally more titilated by receiving the adoration of men. If it's okay for a man to "once-in-awhile" go and watch other naked women, that means he or the naked woman isn't doing anything wrong, right? If that is the case, then it should be perfectly okay for a man's partner to "once-in-awhile" strip down and display her body to men that will show her the adoration and compliments she wants. There is nothing wrong in her showing her body is there? As long as she doesn't touch any of the men, it should be okay. If the rule apply to men going to watch naked women, then the rules should apply to a woman dancing naked.

 

To be hoenst, if my guy wanted to go and dance around on stage to a bunch of screaming woman, I would have so much of less issue with this then I would him going to watch other naked women. I understand how men and women work. Most women rather be on the one receiving attention and compliments while most men rather be the one watching and oggling women. *Most*, not all. So they aren't different things. They are exactly the same thing. And even if you don't see that, if you don't think a man is doing anything wrong by looking at other naked women, then that man should have no issue with other men looking at his woman's naked body.

 

If you're worried about your BF/husband cheating, then going to a strip club is the safest place for him to go. Strippers aren't going home with your BF; it's pretty easy to find a ONS in pretty much any bar.

 

So bf/husbands are much more trust worthy in strip clubs then they are otherwise? Are you saying we can't really trust bf/husbands not to cheat anywhere else and strip clubs are the only place where this absoluetely won't happen? Do you realize how degrading that mentality is to men. You are pretty much saying men are incapable of not cheatting anywhere else but strip clubs.

 

I think a mature respectful man will recongnize that strip clubs are a sexual environment and he will either place himself in that situation or he won't. He will evaluate what is ultimately most important to him. His peers or his partner. Titilation via real live woman or respect for his partner. These choices are his, and his alone. I am not saying the choice is easy. But his choice reflects what is important to him.

 

What annoys me about this entire discussion is that a good junk of men, when discussing this topic, ultimately care more about sex and titulation of other women then they care on trying to figure out why this presents an issue and questions in the mind of the woman he is supposedly committed to. What is more imiportant to men ultimately? 18 year old Strippers or their partner? Through this discussion it's apparent what a lot of men deem more important. And it's not their partners.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I ended up at one a few years ago...I didn't know what was going on at a club and a friend of mine really wanted to go dancing, so I went along. It happened to be a "special event" that night, and my friend wanted to stay. Wow, was it special... to be honest, I felt really uncomfortable. I kept thinking, "That's LEGAL?!!" It was raunch to the max.

 

At the end of our discussion, I did tell my boyfriend that if he ends up at a strip club, I reserve the right to go to a male one. He got very quiet.

 

Usually it takes putting that person in your situation for them to understand! I hope you hold tight to it. If he ends up a strip club, then you should go have your own fun another night of the week.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

It's true. My business partner is a great guy, and he was telling me that he was going to the casino and some other things for a friend's bachelor party. He told his friends in advance that he would not be joining them if they went to a strip club, but would participate in everything else. No one gave him a hard time about it, but he said if they had, he would have explained that he thinks strip clubs are demoralizing and he doesn't need to pay women to get naked for him.

 

He was single at the time of this party, and he still didn't go to the strip club.

 

And true friends, real friends that care about you, will do just that. They won't try to guilt you into doing what they want you to do.

 

The fact that so many guys fall to peer pressure, or use their male friends as an excuse to go, isn't a great indicator of a man's strength to begin with.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

It's possible to find a man who takes moral exception to going to a strip club. I had this conversation with my ex when I went for my best friend's bachelor party. She didn't like it and made me promise that I wouldn't go again. I didn't again for the whole time we dated (there's a good chance I wouldn't have anyway). And that is the only time I have gone when I was dating anybody (in fairness, I haven't dated a lot though).

 

I mean. You're right. Men are sleazy. Strip clubs are just the tip of the iceberg. There's WAY worse things I've seen guys in relationships do. The things I know...

 

I mean ... women are so ironic. They want a cool, successful, handsome guy who is popular. A guy who went to University of Michigan undergrad, Vanderbilt Law school, Sigma Chi fraternity.

 

I mean, your man used to be in a fraternity, and you expect/believe that guy has never been to a strip club for his buddies' bachelor party? L - O - L!

 

 

I have no doubt that there are many men (and women) that do tons of sleazy stuff in relationships. I just don't see how that justifies what we are talking about here. Because guys do much more sleazy stuff women should be happy when he wants to go spend the night with other women getting sexually excited by them and thinking about them and enjoying them?

 

I could care less about cool, handsome, popular men. I have dated successful men and blue collarmen. They all bring great things to the table. I was never really attracted to the type that seemed to gravitate toward fraternities. But I do know of a few men that were in fraternitities that don't seem to be obessed with strip clubs. I don't expect a man to never have ever gone to one. I just question a man's priorities and his respect for his partner if he does go. And I think it's really unfair for men to not see why this is a hard issue for women to deal with. Yo uare so ready to jump on women and feed them all kinds of lines about how he could be cheating somewhere else and that strip clubs are wonderful wholesome places. Do you think women are stupid? That we don't know that strip clubs are sexual? Do you think that even if he isn't getting a lap dance that it's comfortable to think about him enjoying young 18 year old strippers and having a great time with other women? Have some heart for the women that actually are by your side and that you don't have to pay to take their clothes off. The women that actually like YOU and aren't at the end of the night making fun of all the loser men that come in desperately panting after them.

 

I have read a study that said that women that become strippers end up more jaded toward men since they see the absolute worst in male behavior. If you don't think strip clubs bring out the worst in some men, I have to question why you would think that. I am not saying all men are cheaters but strip clubs don't bring out the best in men at all.

[ThaWholigan]

If I was inclined to go to strip clubs (which I'm not because I don't see the point personally), I would just find a woman who I could determine would be fine with it. In fact, even if I wasn't inclined, I would find a woman OK with it, because I don't think women should be so uncomfortable about it, but to an extent you can't tell someone how to feel. I just wouldn't date a woman who was uncomfortable with it if that was what I wanted to do.

[jobaba]

 

I could care less about cool, handsome, popular men. I have dated successful men and blue collarmen. They all bring great things to the table. I was never really attracted to the type that seemed to gravitate toward fraternities. But I do know of a few men that were in fraternitities that don't seem to be obessed with strip clubs. I don't expect a man to never have ever gone to one. I just question a man's priorities and his respect for his partner if he does go. And I think it's really unfair for men to not see why this is a hard issue for women to deal with. Yo uare so ready to jump on women and feed them all kinds of lines about how he could be cheating somewhere else and that strip clubs are wonderful wholesome places. Do you think women are stupid? That we don't know that strip clubs are sexual? Do you think that even if he isn't getting a lap dance that it's comfortable to think about him enjoying young 18 year old strippers and having a great time with other women? Have some heart for the women that actually are by your side and that you don't have to pay to take their clothes off. The women that actually like YOU and aren't at the end of the night making fun of all the loser men that come in desperately panting after them.

 

Women are sleazy too. Any time a guy cheats, it has to be with somebody, right?

 

The funny thing is a lot of women who have cheated before are ones who will have moral objections to strip clubs. See the irony?

 

It's not about obsession. Most guys who go aren't into them. The last time I went for a guys bachelor party, one guy was sleeping! It's about having been. If you've been to a strip club, you've been. If you've cheated on an SO before, you've cheated. There's no gray.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, I agree with you. But happening across a hot woman from time to time on the street or in public and having a pull of lust is different then putting yourself in an environment that is purposely going to tease and titilate you.

 

Also, there is no way to know if a man thinks of other women sexually MORE then they do their own partners. How do you even meassure that? Tons of men spend lots of time with pornography today or just thinking of other women out and about everyday. Are we certain men in relationships are infact thinking of their own partner more often then other women? I am not so sure that's the case. A lot of men don't seem the most loyal of people in this regard.

 

 

 

I certainly do not want MY partner to go to strip clubs, albiet the odd occasion for a bachelor party.... That is the only time my partner has visited one.

I do NOT think it means he loves me any less; I do NOT think he will meet " the one", and suddenly think " wow, I will never feel comfortable or right about going to a strip club ever AGAIN.

I DO NOT think it is about the fact that ALL partners who enjoy strip clubs once in a blue moon, and the fact they DO NOT love their partner enough, and hence enjoy seeing naked women. Chrissylee and other ignorant people will have you believe that guy+ a strip club= a guy who is NOT in love with their partner.

I just think it is ..... beyond a joke, to assume all men who visit a strip club once every year, that they must NOT truly be " into" their partner,

 

 

 

.........THAT SAID: I rest assured that if I WANTED my partner to never set foot in a strip club again - I know he WOULD honour that. At least I know he would not do it behind my back. And that it is merely a strip club, and not something he would be too upset to leave behind forever. After all - you and our partner can always look at porn TOGETHER, in bed - a safe way for couples to explore some fantasies without seeing naked women up close and personal.

........... Why can't people SEE that there ARE decent men out there, who do visit strip clubs occasionally, and still love their wives very much!!?!?!?!

What is IMPORTANT, is that the male partner is able to go without a strip club if that is what their partner needs.

 

This is not 1950! a strip club does NOT minimize all men, and make them bad people necessarily! A vote for a onnce in a while strip club experience, as a bachelor thing though; I don't think it is EVER a good " regular" habit to get into...

Edited August 8, 2012 by Leigh 87