edwards99 Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 I thought we had a chance to reconisile..but doesnt seem it..Im really depressed..and really feeling not sure of what to do next..I am embrassed to say that so moany issue are on at once i am having trouble seeing any other choise here..I have two kids who live with mom..im drowning in debt..and afraid i am going to hurt myself..I am very sad.I love her so much...I thought we had a chance..but looks like I was mislead to boost her ego or something..I have thought about going to the hospital for help but if aditted as a form1..meaning mentally unstable and or sucidal.. I will lose any chance to see my kids for a long time..probably my job..I have felt low before but never like this..Im a 39 yr old male and crying at work as i type this..how patheic am i??
Mr Scorpio Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 No more pathetic than I am. At the very least, you've had (I assume) the joy of seeing your two children brought into the world. Where I'm sitting, I can't imagine holding hands with a member of the opposite sex, much less having children.
The Tallest One Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 Edwards99, so sorry to hear what your going through my friend! I was in the exact same shoes almost 4 years ago! Wife left with my two boys (basically babies at the time) and I was totally devestated! She then lead me on for next ten months, us going to counselling, having bootie calls, doing family stuff, then one day out of blue says to buy a clue and move on! Sadly I did try and take my life, but fortunately wasn't successful! I ended up getting professional help and it saved my life! Noone and nothing is worth taking your life, ever! You have kids who need you and this is just as hard for them! You might not think you have answers or choices right now but your pain is bluring your perspective! Get help, it won't keep you from kids or cost your job! Who needs to know? Tell someone, anyone! Don't be alone! I lived in our empty house for four months alone and it wasn't good! Even though it doesn't look like it right now, you will get through this, I promise! I thought I couldn't live without my wife, but four years later I am so grateful she's gone! Be strong and get help!
TaraMaiden Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 I thought we had a chance to reconisile..but doesnt seem it..Im really depressed..and really feeling not sure of what to do next..I am embrassed to say that so moany issue are on at once i am having trouble seeing any other choise here..I have two kids who live with mom..im drowning in debt..and afraid i am going to hurt myself..I am very sad.I love her so much...I thought we had a chance..but looks like I was mislead to boost her ego or something..I have thought about going to the hospital for help but if aditted as a form1..meaning mentally unstable and or sucidal.. I will lose any chance to see my kids for a long time..probably my job..I have felt low before but never like this..Im a 39 yr old male and crying at work as i type this..how patheic am i?? Listen very carefully: You say you're contemplating suicide. This means you are going to have to make a choice: Do you want to Die Or Do you want to live? Think carefully. it's not about what you think you want to do, it's about what you WANT to do. It's about what you are doing, right now. Right now - you want to live. And right now, you're alive, and recounting your tale. So hold on to that. think on this, more than anything else: What will my children think back on, when they're graduating, about the father that is not there to see their proud moment? you need to see a doctor, and you need to get some practical help. you need to speak to your boss about taking time off, because sure as you are you, you're no use to him at all. you can take sick leave. see your doctor. Turn up at the surgery, tomorrow morning and tell the receptionist this is urgent, and you have to see someone. NOW. Leave her with no uncertainty that you need professional help, support and counselling. because help exists. And you do not have to do this on your own. and I think you recognise this. Which is why you came here. Thank goodness.
The Tallest One Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 Oh!, and I was 39 also four years ago! This happens to so many, your not alone! In the very least, call a suicide hotline! Don't ruin your life and kid's life over a woman who can't see what she's walking away from, it's not the answer! Trust me!
weallfalldown Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 hey i'm 37 and ended up with 0.....i lost everything, but so did she.....we were both losers.......Remember suicide is for cowards......you'll burn in hell, and what about your kids?.......hey it is sooo tough my friend i know, but please don't go down that rd......man i'd even give you a hug if i were there.....stay strong!...........
yessy21 Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 Edwards99<<<<<<< Everything is going to be alright. It takes a good cry here and there. I used to not be able to look at my own child without bursting into tears. One day at a time. Your life is worth more than her ego. Time heals all wounds. Please understand that you need to surround yourself around positive people... people that will hold your hand and let you cry. Opinion: go out with some friends... have a drink... go to the beach area and run screaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmminnnnngggggg random profanities. the sand will tire you out... the air will sting your eyes... and you will do nothing but laugh while you roll around in the sand mindlessly. trust me ... i have done it.
Author edwards99 Posted August 7, 2012 Author Posted August 7, 2012 I am sry to hear the other sad but no doubt true stories out there.. I am a a loss..I have pictured times in the kids lives when if i wasnt there wha it would be like and for some reasons I do not see their hurt..its actualy not my wife that i want..its the woman i spent the las 4 yrs with after marriage eneded..doesnt matter..my kids ae the only reason i havent taken my life..but the rope seems to be thinner..there step father seems to be a great guy..so what are they really missing..thepictures of me in theriier heads are of the loser their mom makes me look like....my position a work isnt one that can be replaced short term..so if i was to leave it would mean certain job loss..n the market is terrible here.. just cant see the light anymore..every day it seems like im getting darker n darker.. thank u all for your replies..knowing someone actually reads muy posts and cares enought to actually take time out and tyoe something to a total stranger sas alot about you all and this site.. I just want the hurt n tears to sop.
Author edwards99 Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 i dont understand..she knew what leading me on would do..she knew i was trying to move on..all the countless stupid ****ing messages i sent her that sounded so pathetic..trying to make her see my intentions...I just dont understand why she would intentionally hurt me so...im a thoughtful guy..i help people..i give..i try and be a good persn..and get crapped on over n over...im s sick of it
The Tallest One Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Edwards99, it's scary how similar our stories are! The pain I am going through now isn't the loss of my wife, it's the breakup of my last gf and I! A woman I met two years after my wife left! I also though the way you are now! I was convinced my kids wouldn't be hurt or scarred if I was dead! But the reality is that it would devestate them! In time you will realize this! Don't worry about what ex wife says about you, or how her new partner is with kids! Your there only father and they need you! This last gf and I had been through a lot and she was with me through some tough times, but now that she's gone I'm heartbroken! Life is testing you and if you hold on and allow yourself to get through this dark time in your life, I promise you your life will get much much better! Don't let one moment in your life as painful as it is, to be something ends your story! We're both young and have so much ahead of us! You have to make you priority number one!!! Take the good advice on LS and start getting help! Get moving on the road to a better life! I still struggle at times. I still miss gf like crazy and can't believe it's over. I have a void in my life because of her absence, but I keep thinking of my kids, I spend time with them, I spend time with friends, I have gone back to the gym and surprisingly I feel much better because of it! You will have dark days but in time they become fewer and fewer! Just dig deep and wait out the storm! Hold on with all you have! You are so worth it! You matter to so many people and you will find true love again, I swear it! 1
Author edwards99 Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 Yea..and from this world wide web..n people from all over on thissite we both are from Ontario....lol.....Good ole Mississauga for me.
The Tallest One Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Man I'm from Peterborough, we're super close!
Author edwards99 Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 went to Sir Sandbox for HR.. small world eh!!!!! Everyone thanks..feeling a bit better today.. 1
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