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Does everyone deserve a chance, or is this chance just wasting everyone's time?

Contrecoeur

By Contrecoeur
in Dating

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Contrecoeur Member

Contrecoeur

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Looking for responses before 5pm today, because that's when my date's supposed to be...

 

I met this guy via OLD last weekend and he seemed alright and was really keen to meet right away, so we set something up for this afternoon. We hadn't corresponded that much because I deleted my OLD profile after just a couple days, but we had our first messenger "conversation" yesterday, and I now have 2 strikes against this guy for being needy and insecure during that 30min conversation (he accused me of lying when I told him my computer had randomly shut off, said I was trying to avoid him, and he wasn't joking - wtf?). At this point, I have very little hope for this date. Of course there's a chance he could turn out to be amazing and I'd be totally wrong, but I think it far more likely that his insecurity will show through even more and turn me off further.

 

Should I give this guy a fair chance and go through with this, hoping his real life personality is more secure than his online persona? Or will I be wasting my (and his) time, hoping for what appears to be an OLD miracle?

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
Posted

I think that this guy has already showed you some of his true colors. Give YOURSELF the chance to date a man who is not going to accuse you of lying when he doesn't even know you. Giant red flag. Won't be fun.

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted

A bit late to cancel. Just meet, observe and listen. You will know what to do afterward.

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Contrecoeur Member

Contrecoeur

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Posted

I don't know if i agree with that, Fitchick - I think you should be able to cancel up until somebody's already on the way there. I should really have cancelled last night after all these problems came to light, but I was still trying to be optimistic at the time. It was only after sleeping on it I realized what a disaster/waste of time it'd be.

grkBoy Established Member

grkBoy

Posted
Posted
Should I give this guy a fair chance and go through with this, hoping his real life personality is more secure than his online persona? Or will I be wasting my (and his) time, hoping for what appears to be an OLD miracle?

 

I think you should put your foot down. If he's going to get insecure/paranoid, then tell him you won't be hanging around for this.

 

Go on the date, then decide. I would not blame you though if you ended up rejecting. It's one thing if he worries about a little stomach pudge, receding hairline, or something small...but when it's the "you'll betray me when you get a chance" kind of mistrust, then he's got issues.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted
Looking for responses before 5pm today, because that's when my date's supposed to be...

 

I met this guy via OLD last weekend and he seemed alright and was really keen to meet right away, so we set something up for this afternoon. We hadn't corresponded that much because I deleted my OLD profile after just a couple days, but we had our first messenger "conversation" yesterday, and I now have 2 strikes against this guy for being needy and insecure during that 30min conversation (he accused me of lying when I told him my computer had randomly shut off, said I was trying to avoid him, and he wasn't joking - wtf?). At this point, I have very little hope for this date. Of course there's a chance he could turn out to be amazing and I'd be totally wrong, but I think it far more likely that his insecurity will show through even more and turn me off further.

 

Should I give this guy a fair chance and go through with this, hoping his real life personality is more secure than his online persona? Or will I be wasting my (and his) time, hoping for what appears to be an OLD miracle?

 

No. End it gracefully. It only goes downhill from there...

curlygirl40 Established Member

curlygirl40

Posted
Posted

Well I'm assuming you're on your date now, curious how it went.

 

I have noticed in my experience that whenever I have a red flag ahead of time, that issue is just more pronounced in person.

 

For me a bad phone call usually means a bad date, neediness just gets worse, a red flag on the first date (something that makes me go 'hmmmmm') does not go away on the second date, etc.

 

Let us know

MGD3 Member

MGD3

Posted
Posted

OP I know its not your responsibility to help him out but help the next woman out he dates by letting him know he acts like a wuss and needs to work on it until he eliminates the behavior!;)

Dorie Established Member

Dorie

Posted
Posted
OP I know its not your responsibility to help him out but help the next woman out he dates by letting him know he acts like a wuss and needs to work on it until he eliminates the behavior!;)

 

It sounds as though more than one lesson will be required for this particular man so OP, cancel.

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