Radu Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 They seem to recognize the difference between their height and their height affected by heels going by the OP statement: "Oh, I wear heels, so he must be taller than me in heels, I am 5'6", but come to 5'10", so if you're not at least 6 feet tall , I won't date you". If they didn't recognize the difference they'd likely say "He must be taller than me I'm 5'10" " rather than say he must be taller than me when my height is affected by heels. You're not alone in not getting that I don't see a reason for me to give a chance as in date or consider having sex or a relationships with a person I don't want. If that is a deal she is offering for a date "Oh, I wear heels, so he must be taller than me in heels, I am 5'6", but come to 5'10", so if you're not at least 6 feet tall , I won't date you" then i expect her and any woman that uses that logic to be in heels constantly in front of me. We go to bed ... heels, around the house ... heels, work ... heels, outside ... heels. If you are going to base your requirement for a man that he is taller than you in heels because it's important to me, well i want to see how i am taller than you ... constantly, throughout the day. You are only allowed to take them off in bed and in the shower, otherwise i want to see those heels on. Does that thinking bother you ? Because i see no reason why she should say no.
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 If that is a deal she is offering for a date "Oh, I wear heels, so he must be taller than me in heels, I am 5'6", but come to 5'10", so if you're not at least 6 feet tall , I won't date you" then i expect her and any woman that uses that logic to be in heels constantly in front of me. We go to bed ... heels, around the house ... heels, work ... heels, outside ... heels. If you are going to base your requirement for a man that he is taller than you in heels because it's important to me, well i want to see how i am taller than you ... constantly, throughout the day. You are only allowed to take them off in bed and in the shower, otherwise i want to see those heels on. Does that thinking bother you ? Because i see no reason why she should say no. Different views as the logic I saw was she wants a guy taller than her even when she's in heels. If she wants a guy taller than her likely she's going to lose attraction when a guy's shorter than her than to me so it's logical to want a guy to be taller than her even when she's in heels. Irrelevant if she she wears heels a few times a month or everyday as when she does wear them she's still going to be feeling that lose of attraction which can lead to a complete change of feeling towards him. Your thinking doesn't bother me. I see a reason why she would say no that being she doesn't want to wear heels 24/7 she simply wants a guy who will be taller than her when she chooses to wear heels.
Els Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 It's never down to precise mathematics, it's usually about the overall package. 2 inches can look dramatic on someone shorter, not so much on someone taller, same for weight. No need for the fake 'holier than thou' stuff Why is it 'fake holier than thou' to state a personal preference? People are completely entitled to want someone 2 inches taller or 10 lbs lighter. And I'm entitled to not want someone who prioritizes such things. It's simply hypocrisy to say otherwise.
TheMeatloafJuggler Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Since this crap about men's height has been discussed 1,000 times, I'd like to put a different spin on it... Guys, if you were dating a woman was 5'5" and you were 5'10" and you found out she wouldn't have dated you if you were 5'8" or shorter, would you still date her? Personally? No I wouldn't. When I was younger, I probably wouldn't care, but now, given some years and experience, it would be a deal breaker for me. I'm 6'3. If I was magically cut down many inches to 5'6 to 5'8 and suddenly discovered that someone who valued me the day before found me less of a person today over something so arbitrary ( well arbitrary to me), then it would be a complete and total turnoff. Here's my take on it. Most people want someone to love and accept them for who they are. Not just men, but women too. I would say that desire is almost universal. Any woman I meet with a height requirement or any requirement that involves something a person simply cannot change and has no bearing on the quality of the relationship, then I would say that it would be an indicator for me that the person makes a conscious choice to not love me for who I am as a person. I also believe we can only ask for what we give out there. If I want a fit girl, I need to be fit myself. If I want a girl who is financially stable and has no debt, I need to be financially stable and have no debt. If I demand that a girl is college educated, then I should be college educated. I think this is generally considered "fair", don't ask for more than you give yourself. So based on that, any woman who has a height requirement is a woman I feel that A) Will choose by personal discretion to not love me for me and not love me for who I am as a person and B) Has no right, in my eyes, to ever ask for complete and true unconditional love from any man in a romantic sense. How would most women like it? If they got too old or got a little too much weight, and their husbands threw them out like yesterdays trash. Or their husbands woke up and saw them differently, gave them a look of disgust or dismissal? Not so fun I suspect. Crazy idea, I want someone to love and accept me for me. And if I want even half a chance in hell of finding that, then I need to be able to give that first. I need to be able to offer what I ask for. I feel like any woman who has a strict height requirement for dating, once you reduce men to pieces of meat, you subject yourself to that same vicious cycle yourself. Once you demand a man must be X tall, you now subject yourself to the materialistic reality that you will be judged as harshly as why you do or don't measure up to receive and and should get these highly desirable men out there. I'm 6'3 and I choose to stand tall. But I would stand tall even if I was 5'0. That's something I think the smaller guys need to see. Who cares what women say or women think, let no one determine how tall you stand regardless of your height. How tall you stand is not determined by how tall you are. In that same regard, when it comes to this issue, any woman I meet who has a strict height requirement, I think they are so very very little as people. Little souls, little hearts, little love. People have a right to choose what they want to date, I will never deny that, I will never say people don't have a right to approach dating the way they want, but I will say this - Little souls, little hearts, little love. That's the kind of "size" I think will always be universal deal breakers for me. For men, it doesn't matter how tall you are, it matters how stoutly you stand. If you never get another date in your life, so what, that doesn't define you as a person.
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) Any woman I meet with a height requirement or any requirement that involves something a person simply cannot change and has no bearing on the quality of the relationship, then I would say that it would be an indicator for me that the person makes a conscious choice to not love me for who I am as a person. Once you demand a man must be X tall, you now subject yourself to the materialistic reality that you will be judged as harshly as why you do or don't measure up to receive and and should get these highly desirable men out there. A requirement involving something a man cannot change likely does have a bearing on the quality of the relationship to the woman if it affects her attraction. To me it's no different than a man In my opinion most people in romantic/sexual situations make a conscious choice whether to love a person or not as they approach and reject based on attraction to physical appearance. With the exception of plastic surgery most can't change their looks and a certain level of physical attractiveness is usually a requirement for most. Most likely people in love with their partner wouldn't have been in the position to fall in love with their if not for the partner's appearance as they wouldn't have approached them or accepted their approach. I highly doubt that once you demand a guy of a certain height you're now subjected to harsh judgements as it seems more likely that it doesn't matter what your own standards, demands, or prefernces are you'll still be judged by others and some may be harsh. Edited August 8, 2012 by udolipixie
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 How would most women like it? If they got too old or got a little too much weight, and their husbands threw them out like yesterdays trash. Or their husbands woke up and saw them differently, gave them a look of disgust or dismissal? Not so fun I suspect. If you're trying to compare it to having a height requirement that's quite a different scenario to me as it seems to be about potential partners not current partners. A better comparison to me would be "how would most women like it if some men chose not to date you because you're too old or weigh too much for them". Though such a comparison likely wouldn't fit with "women having a strict height requirement are very very little as people and have little souls, little hearts, little love".
Leopard Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Guys, if you were dating a woman was 5'5" and you were 5'10" and you found out she wouldn't have dated you if you were 5'8" or shorter, would you still date her? Everyone who answered this question said "no", they wouldn't. I would just like to point out that for this reason, women never tell a man whether or not money or height or looks are important. Even if the man fits every category, a woman has to pretend it doesn't matter otherwise he would be rid of her. The same goes for men. They would prefer their woman to be the hot, intelligent and strong woman, but if they told her "if you weren't that good looking or smart, I probably wouldn't date you" she probably would be offended too. That's what you're supposed to pretend these things don't matter when really, they do. So the problem here isn't "honesty" like everyone says, but insecurity and people getting too offended because it's not "politically correct". It's such bullsh*t at the end of the day. 2
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 ...as part of your height. I don't get some of these women, they are always throwing in, "Oh, I wear heels, so he must be taller than me in heels, I am 5'6", but come to 5'10", so if you're not at least 6 feet tall , I won't date you" I mean, come on, isn't that a bit cheesy to include your heels? Give a 5'8" man a break LOL! I can see how that would be annoying irc. My brother's fiance is taller then him with heels on. They are just about the same height in her flats.
iris219 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Since this crap about men's height has been discussed 1,000 times, I'd like to put a different spin on it... Guys, if you were dating a woman was 5'5" and you were 5'10" and you found out she wouldn't have dated you if you were 5'8" or shorter, would you still date her? Everyone who answered this question said "no", they wouldn't. I would just like to point out that for this reason, women never tell a man whether or not money or height or looks are important. Even if the man fits every category, a woman has to pretend it doesn't matter otherwise he would be rid of her. The same goes for men. They would prefer their woman to be the hot, intelligent and strong woman, but if they told her "if you weren't that good looking or smart, I probably wouldn't date you" she probably would be offended too. That's what you're supposed to pretend these things don't matter when really, they do. So the problem here isn't "honesty" like everyone says, but insecurity and people getting too offended because it's not "politically correct". It's such bullsh*t at the end of the day. I don't see why anyone would answer jojoba's question with a no. I wouldn't be the least bit offended if a man wouldn't have dated me if I was more or less anything. That's the way attraction works. If a man wouldn't have dated me if was less attractive or less smart, that to me says he's dating me because he thinks I'm smart and beautiful; it's a compliment. If you're 5'10" and a woman wouldn't have dated you at 5'8", it means she thinks you're perfect at 5'10". I'm not seeing what the problem is with someone liking you for how you are. 1
Leopard Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I don't see why anyone would answer jojoba's question with a no. I wouldn't be the least bit offended if a man wouldn't have dated me if I was more or less anything. That's the way attraction works. If a man wouldn't have dated me if was less attractive or less smart, that to me says he's dating me because he thinks I'm smart and beautiful; it's a compliment. If you're 5'10" and a woman wouldn't have dated you at 5'8", it means she thinks you're perfect at 5'10". I'm not seeing what the problem is with someone liking you for how you are. YES!!!!!!!! Thank you. Someone that get's it.
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I don't see why anyone would answer jojoba's question with a no. I wouldn't be the least bit offended if a man wouldn't have dated me if I was more or less anything. That's the way attraction works. If a man wouldn't have dated me if was less attractive or less smart, that to me says he's dating me because he thinks I'm smart and beautiful; it's a compliment. If you're 5'10" and a woman wouldn't have dated you at 5'8", it means she thinks you're perfect at 5'10". I'm not seeing what the problem is with someone liking you for how you are. Likely some people are seeing it as someone not liking them if they weren't how they are thus that means that someone doesn't genuinely like/love them for who they are. Such as if he wouldn't have been with me if he didn't find me attractive it means he doesn't truly love me for who I am.
Leopard Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Likely some people are seeing it as someone not liking them if they weren't how they are thus that means that someone doesn't genuinely like/love them for who they are. Such as if he wouldn't have been with me if he didn't find me attractive it means he doesn't truly love me for who I am. That's bullsh*t. People always find a way to get offended. "If I wasn't as smart, pretty and nice as I was, OH MY GOD HE WOULDN'T LIKE ME!" Lmao no sh*t Sherlock. Let's make another list of things you are, subtract them and see if the guy will still like you. Oh wait! You're not nice or pretty or smart anymore! WHAT AN ASSH*LE FOR LEAVING YOU THEN!
Leopard Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I've already reported this poster. He will be removed soon. 1
iris219 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Likely some people are seeing it as someone not liking them if they weren't how they are thus that means that someone doesn't genuinely like/love them for who they are. Such as if he wouldn't have been with me if he didn't find me attractive it means he doesn't truly love me for who I am. It seems some people want to believe that initial physical attraction is irrelevant when that's all you have to go on before you've actually gotten to know a person. Saying you wouldn’t have been attracted to someone if they had been different is very different than saying you would leave someone you loved if they changed in even a slight way. The former is just the way initial attraction works. 3
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 That's bullsh*t. People always find a way to get offended. "If I wasn't as smart, pretty and nice as I was, OH MY GOD HE WOULDN'T LIKE ME!" Lmao no sh*t Sherlock. Let's make another list of things you are, subtract them and see if the guy will still like you. Oh wait! You're not nice or pretty or smart anymore! WHAT AN ASSH*LE FOR LEAVING YOU THEN! Unsure what's the bullsh*t is it that my opinion that likely some people are seeing it the way I described or that people see it that way. LMFAO @ your post as I find it amusing that some seem to dislike the idea that a person may not have considered them or remain with them if they didn't have the traits they do. 1
Leopard Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Bullsh*t at the fact that this nonsense is even being discussed. If he likes you then he likes you, if he doesn't then he doesn't. It just ridiculous. People always find a reason to be unhappy or offended. "If I wasn't this, If I wasn't that". Dating isn't about what ifs. It is what it is. 2
AD1980 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Gotta love womens vanity..picking shoes over somebody.. Perhaps Men should use women more as accesories..if my hand is bigger then a womens breast perhaps it will make me feel less masculine being with somebody whos not feminine enough
brahmabull117 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 That's bullsh*t. People always find a way to get offended. "If I wasn't as smart, pretty and nice as I was, OH MY GOD HE WOULDN'T LIKE ME!" Lmao no sh*t Sherlock. Let's make another list of things you are, subtract them and see if the guy will still like you. Oh wait! You're not nice or pretty or smart anymore! WHAT AN ASSH*LE FOR LEAVING YOU THEN! I'm in agreement with you Leopard We like our mates for their quality traits. Get a dog if you want unconditional love 1
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 It seems some people want to believe that initial physical attraction is irrelevant when that's all you have to go on before you've actually gotten to know a person. Saying you wouldn’t have been attracted to someone if they had been different is very different than saying you would leave someone you loved if they changed in even a slight way. The former is just the way initial attraction works. I agree that it's very different however it seems some may see it as being the same or similar. I think it's more that some believe in unconditional love as in "they should have been open to loving me if I weren't [insert trait(s)]" or believing the current love is devalued if that person wouldn't have loved them without [insert trait(s)] rather than believing initial physical attraction is irrelevant.
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Gotta love womens vanity..picking shoes over somebody.. Perhaps Men should use women more as accesories..if my hand is bigger then a womens breast perhaps it will make me feel less masculine being with somebody whos not feminine enough Seems more like "gotta love some womens vanity" and "perhaps more men should use women as accessories". As "use women more" in your post suggests generally men use women as accessories and perhaps men should increase the level. In my opinion it's not "picking shoes over someone" rather it's "not picking someone you're not attracted to".
Author irc333 Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 I can actually now justify a 5'10" or a woman that's ..well...tall for a woman...not really wanting to date a shorter man to begin with. But if you're a woman that's only 5'2" or 5'3, and you demand NO less than a 6 feet man, if that 6 feet man were to ever date that short woman, it probably wouldn't last because she'd probably have other superficial issues as well. There is this one woman on POF, in her HEADLINE, she said, "Stop being superficial and PICK ME!" NO JOKE, she said that in her headliner. IN her profile she must've said in THREE different areas of her profile, "You MUST be 6 feet or taller or don't email me!" Yes, THREE times, the beginning, middle and the end. And THEN she complains IN her profile, "Man, are there no men over 5'8" in this area??" And then complains in her headline for men to stop being superficial I actually emailed her about that, of course got no answer....because she knew I was right about such a double standard.
udolipixie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I can actually now justify a 5'10" or a woman that's ..well...tall for a woman...not really wanting to date a shorter man to begin with. But if you're a woman that's only 5'2" or 5'3, and you demand NO less than a 6 feet man, if that 6 feet man were to ever date that short woman, it probably wouldn't last because she'd probably have other superficial issues as well. There is this one woman on POF, in her HEADLINE, she said, "Stop being superficial and PICK ME!" NO JOKE, she said that in her headliner. IN her profile she must've said in THREE different areas of her profile, "You MUST be 6 feet or taller or don't email me!" Yes, THREE times, the beginning, middle and the end. And THEN she complains IN her profile, "Man, are there no men over 5'8" in this area??" And then complains in her headline for men to stop being superficial I actually emailed her about that, of course got no answer....because she knew I was right about such a double standard. Or perhaps because she wasn't interested in responding to the opinion of someone who doesn't fit what she wants when she's on the site to find men she wants. I'm amused by "Stop being superficial and PICK ME!" considering how to me it fits the give a short guy a break bit in the OP.
Lonely Ronin Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I can actually now justify a 5'10" or a woman that's ..well...tall for a woman...not really wanting to date a shorter man to begin with. But if you're a woman that's only 5'2" or 5'3, and you demand NO less than a 6 feet man, if that 6 feet man were to ever date that short woman, it probably wouldn't last because she'd probably have other superficial issues as well. There is this one woman on POF, in her HEADLINE, she said, "Stop being superficial and PICK ME!" NO JOKE, she said that in her headliner. IN her profile she must've said in THREE different areas of her profile, "You MUST be 6 feet or taller or don't email me!" Yes, THREE times, the beginning, middle and the end. And THEN she complains IN her profile, "Man, are there no men over 5'8" in this area??" And then complains in her headline for men to stop being superficial I actually emailed her about that, of course got no answer....because she knew I was right about such a double standard. You need to stop caring about stuff like this. You're not what she wants, and based on the above, she's obviously not what you want, so why even waster your time writing to her about it? 4
Author irc333 Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 Or perhaps because she wasn't interested in responding to the opinion of someone who doesn't fit what she wants when she's on the site to find men she wants. I'm amused by "Stop being superficial and PICK ME!" considering how to me it fits the give a short guy a break bit in the OP. LOL...yeah, there is an irony in all of that, that's probably why she's still single. It's a paradox/chicken-egg mentality. "Okay, I'll pick YOU, as long as you're willing to date a shorter man and stop being superficial, yourself!!"
kaylan Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Everyone who answered this question said "no", they wouldn't. I would just like to point out that for this reason, women never tell a man whether or not money or height or looks are important. Even if the man fits every category, a woman has to pretend it doesn't matter otherwise he would be rid of her. The same goes for men. They would prefer their woman to be the hot, intelligent and strong woman, but if they told her "if you weren't that good looking or smart, I probably wouldn't date you" she probably would be offended too. That's what you're supposed to pretend these things don't matter when really, they do. So the problem here isn't "honesty" like everyone says, but insecurity and people getting too offended because it's not "politically correct". It's such bullsh*t at the end of the day. Different things matter to different people. Everyone here already knows money matters to you, and just becayse you lie to a guy and say it doesnt, does not mean he cant sniff it out based on your behavior and reactions. A lot of guys will test chicks to see what she truly cares about. And also, there are guys actually dont want a smart or strong woman. This forum is an indication of that. Some of the guys here dont seem to care if a woman is smart at all, and there are even a few who seem like they want a weak woman because it threatens their masculinity in some way....which I find to be silly. Im not of of those guys though. But anyways, like I said, people want a buncha different things.
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