Ladies, stop including your heels....

[Lonely Ronin]

What I don't understand, is the constant need for people on LS to rant about why people do this or want that. It also seems like a lot of people try and chastise the other gender, for not doing or wanting what they think they should. People are going to do what they want and want what they want, and no amount of ranting & chastising is going to change that.

 

IMO the only thing worth really focusing on, is how to identify people that you connect with, as fast and drama free as possible.

[yongyong]

You sound like a guy who never hits on women outside, just sit at home, do some online dating and complain about bitches.

 

Otherwise, you won't keep creating this kind of dumb threads daily basis.

[Imajerk17]

I won't go on the attack because I understand IRC333. I've known the actual guy online for a while now.

 

I think half these topics are useless, but I see them as venting. He's frustrated. He's gone a long time in his life with constant failures in dating. He's asked for advice, followed it to an extent, and yet still ends up mainly being rejected by women of all shapes and sizes. Yes, he's even tried for single moms and fat women.

 

I know that part of his problem is where he lives. It's a small town, more like rural suburbia. There are single women there, but they have shown in many ways they'll die alone before lowering their standards. While I grew up in a major city, I can understand how much years of rejection can destroy someone.

 

I personally think he holds too high a moral code sometimes, but I can also understand and respect him when he doesn't want to drastically change who he is to please someone. I personally don't think he's some creepy guy, or total social inept weirdo, or bible-belt freak...but he (like me most of the time) is one of those guys who pretty much doesn't excite women at first look.

 

Outside of becoming some shallow yuppie, hitting the gym and getting the "bro" attitude...or moving to a major city...I don't know what else could help him. I notice many of the "new singles" in his area are typically recently divorced women who have the "I just dumped my jerk of a husband, and now I want a phenomenal guy to replace him" attitude.

 

I personally think he should do the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) thing like I did years ago. Granted I ended up meeting the right woman a few years later, but it helps sometimes to just free yourself of the pressures of dating and do other things in life.

 

I guess I see where he comes from, since I used to feel just as bitter as he comes off now. It sucks when you try and try and try to be this "ideal man" women want, only to continually fail as you watch women go after the men that are the opposite of what they say they want. It's why I had to learn to love myself and be ready and willing to die alone before "lowering myself" to impress the "lust" side of a woman.

 

In reference to the topic, I can imagine what it feels like to be rejected instantly because of your height...something you can't easily change. It's like a woman being instantly rejected for her breast or nose size, or her height. I'm thankful to be 6' tall. As much as we HEAR women say it's not that big a deal, we keep SEEING the opposite.

 

grkBoy,

 

Great stuff. As someone who has been on here a while, I've seen irc's threads, not just now but from a few years ago too. In his locale, I am sure that irc333 does have to deal with (a) women with unrealistic expectations, and (b) women who might or might not say they want one thing (i.e., something close to who irc is) and go for something else (some bad-news d-bag).

 

I live in a small town so I see this happening. Women get hit on by bad-boys all the time and so they might reject a "nice guy" like irc making a move.

 

I can also relate to failure and yes it does wear on you. I would say that it hurts more to get turned down by a woman who says she would be into a guy like you, but who instead goes for some bad boy.

 

Anyway no, I don't think irc is some loser or freak. He seems like a pretty decent nice guy, who (I suspect) comes across as a bit too friendly and it puts the single girls he comes in contact with off. He is probably being blown off for some d-bags who have more of an edge to them.

 

But, no matter what hand you are dealt, you have to make the best of it. Hell I've been doing that and even though I haven't met the one yet, I am still doing my share of dating and having my share of sex. I'm 5'8" and about irc's age too. If irc is unhappy enough with his life, he can move. Hell, settlers once crossed the country in these horse-drawn wagons and had to face all sorts of dangers. Even if irc chooses to stay, he can in the meanwhile do things like hit the gym--has he looked into CrossFit. Yet irc doesn't seem to be willing to do any of this...

Edited August 7, 2012 by Imajerk17

[kaylan]

OP...people are only that picky online because internet dating makes dating like shopping. In the real world I can charm the pants off girls who are picky like that. Or I can just take my shirt off.

 

I wouldnt really worry about it OP. If some girls want to be that way about height, as illogical and materialistic as it is...then I can be picky about weight. I prefer my girls to be trim, fit, and sexy. I want someone who hits the gym a few times a week, whos sporty, not weak, and can keep up with me doing active things.

 

Most men and women in America arent any of the things I mentioned. So scoring with a sporty gal is great. Plus if we ever had kids, I dont have to worry about her ballooning to the size of a whale. I know she has the will, knowledge, and/or genetics to stay in shape. Plus lets be honest. Most Americans are overweight, so pregnancy and aging definitely take their toll on men and women.

 

lol!

 

It's just a want, not a necessity for most

 

I'm 5'10 and I wear heels all the time. Admit it, a woman in a nice dress won't look as sexy if she wears flats. Plus it's not professional or dressy. The man I just broke up with was 6'5 and still taller than me in heels.

 

It felt so incredible to finally be a woman who was STILL shorter than a man in heels. I hate always being the tallest woman everywhere I go.

 

Do you even know how annoying it is for men to always come up to you and say "Woah you're tall!" It's the same as a woman coming up to a short guy and saying "Aww you're so short!"

 

No one wants that.

Untrue. Guys dont give a damn about heels for the most part. A girl can look sexy in flats for sure. I actually prefer it, especially since it makes no sense to me to use shoes that are not good for your posture or legs in general.

Edited August 7, 2012 by kaylan

[mesmerized]

Believe it or not, most people are stuck with physical traits that the opposite sex might find unattractive. It's no different for women. I personally had quite a few guys making rude comments about a physical feature of mine (my hair!). I've tried to laugh it off so far. Sometimes it gets to me though and makes me upset that it doesn't fit the media standards of beauty. At least most women are decent enough not to laugh in a short guy's face.

Edited August 7, 2012 by mesmerized

[Dreamless Sleep]

Dating is tough, no doubt. Rejection based upon physical appearance is tough. But physical attraction is important and individual.

Frankly I would appreciate a girl who put that out there from the beginning. Physical preferences are important. I don't need to waste upfront time with a romantic prospect if my height is a deal breaker. It's no different than hair color/style, her breast size, body shape, etc for guys.

Don't fall into that rut of generalizing women or you'll remain a victim. And miss some great opportunities.

[irc333]

Carhill, chances are, they probably didn't meet online. It's funny how people can so easily dismiss those people online for not meeting their criteria.

 

BUT, the very SAME person, would not reject that person had they met in them in person.

 

Had that cook been some guy that emailed her on match.com....she'd hit the delete button immediately. And it'd be like the movie "Back to the Future"

 

The kids would fade from existence. LOL

 

 

Haven't seen such ads but will share a couple of anecdotes. The wife and daughters of the 'cook' at the wedding on Sunday sat across from me at the reception. He's always so busy I rarely see he and his wife standing next to each other and, when he finally took a break for the last dance, I realized, even in flats, that she was taller than him. Even his teenage daughters are taller than him. Eye-opener.

 

The other anecdote was a long conversation on the beach with a young lady I hadn't seen in awhile. We had a great time catching up as I hadn't seen she and her boyfriend since our last remodel project. Later, at the reception dining table, when they came up and I stood to greet her, I was a bit shocked that she towered over me. Ha, she had put on some four inch heels after wearing sandals on the beach. Barefoot, she's my height (5'11"). I never had really noticed before. Her BF, a former male model, matched up really well as he's 6'3". Great couple. When I read of people ragging on 'beautiful people', I think of them and smile. Exceptions to every rule.

 

Women do what they do and have the preferences they have. One, meaning they or the reader, can see what one chooses to see. There's always a choice.

[irc333]

You know what, I think I know what the issue is, people having an issue with wasting each other's time.

 

Back in the good ol days, before the internet, you found out about how people were as you were getting to know them.

 

Heck, you'd probably catch a drink after leaving a college class or church, and find out about each other that way.

 

I think the internet has become a crutch so much, it's easier to dismiss people at the click of a mouse button.

 

Dating is tough, no doubt. Rejection based upon physical appearance is tough. But physical attraction is important and individual.

Frankly I would appreciate a girl who put that out there from the beginning. Physical preferences are important. I don't need to waste upfront time with a romantic prospect if my height is a deal breaker. It's no different than hair color/style, her breast size, body shape, etc for guys.

Don't fall into that rut of generalizing women or you'll remain a victim. And miss some great opportunities.

[Art_Critic]

Does anybody use their height without their shoes ? men or women.. what about you OP.. does your height include that extras 1/2"-3/4" your shoes add to your height ?

 

About the only time I even see my height without my shoes is at the Dr's office...

[Art_Critic]

Guys, if you were dating a woman was 5'5" and you were 5'10" and you found out she wouldn't have dated you if you were 5'8" or shorter, would you still date her?

 

Would it matter ? No...

 

Height doesn't matter in the long run... right now.. as we speak I have no idea what my wife's height is.. I don't think she would know mine if I ran upstairs and asked her..

I also never remember height being any kind of dating requirement throughout my single dating life of years past.

 

It's just crap that the OP has an issue with height.. if a woman won't date him because he isn't 6'1" then in reality he doesn't understand that he is better off without her.. because height just doesn't matter

[Dreamless Sleep]

You know what, I think I know what the issue is, people having an issue with wasting each other's time.

 

Back in the good ol days, before the internet, you found out about how people were as you were getting to know them.

 

Heck, you'd probably catch a drink after leaving a college class or church, and find out about each other that way.

 

I think the internet has become a crutch so much, it's easier to dismiss people at the click of a mouse button.

 

 

IRC333 I completely agree. I'm no pickup artist and haven't (yet) used online methods of dating. But if certain criteria are important, I understand. Hell, it can be religion or race or anything. But if your partner can't feel confident strutting around with you who needs them? That's their issue.

In the end what makes a relationship transends that. Getting there is the trick. I just worry that your frustration makes you appear mysogynistic. I bet you are mearly venting your frustration though. I did not want to thump you.

Edited August 8, 2012 by Dreamless Sleep

[Radu]

Does anybody use their height without their shoes ? men or women.. what about you OP.. does your height include that extras 1/2"-3/4" your shoes add to your height ?

 

About the only time I even see my height without my shoes is at the Dr's office...

 

I do, it's how you measure it, right ?

 

In reference to the topic, I can imagine what it feels like to be rejected instantly because of your height...something you can't easily change. It's like a woman being instantly rejected for her breast or nose size, or her height. I'm thankful to be 6' tall. As much as we HEAR women say it's not that big a deal, we keep SEEING the opposite.

 

The only way you can change height is through implants in your femurs, and stretching over many many many yrs.

Incredibly expensive, risky and painfull.

Breast, nose ... these things can be changed easier.

If girls really wanted to know how it is, they should ask their 6feet [without heels], average looking, girlfriend.

 

I have the opposite problem.

I'm 5''10-11', i am solidly built, not a small guy and i'm not into metrosexuality.

Where i live, you will clean up if you are a sensitive, caring, metrosexual male, 5''7' and not solidly built.

Otherwise you are **** out of luck.

 

College campus and just 1 girl out of 45-50 approached will give me a number that is good.

[veggirl]

The height thing is something I really can sympathize with guys on.

 

I don't understand why people get so upset that guys are put off by a woman requiring a guy who is 5'10 or whatever. It is a prevelant requirement, it seems like. And that has GOT to be disheartening. I don't see the problem venting about it.

 

If i was a 5'7 guy and I was coming across all these 5'4 gals who required a man be 5'10 so she can wear her heels and still feel "feminine" by being smaller..yeah I would be irritated too.

 

Lets face it, the VAST majority of women want someone who is a few inches taller than they are. For a guy who is not around 5'10...that's gonna be a pretty regular obstacle, considering the average woman is 5'4 and heels are gonna put her around 5'8.

 

honestly I'd liken being a "short" dude to being an overweight gal. Both are gonna really limit your options, but height can't be helped.

[oaks]

Does anybody use their height without their shoes ? men or women.. what about you OP.. does your height include that extras 1/2"-3/4" your shoes add to your height ?

 

About the only time I even see my height without my shoes is at the Dr's office...

 

Yes! It's the height that my doctor measures that is on my passport and also on my dating profile! When someone says "how tall are you?" that's the number they want.

[udolipixie]

It makes sense to me to include heels in your height as it affects your height especially as the woman don't seem to be thinking since I'm in heels my height is 5'10'' rather thinking when I'm in heels my height increases to 5'10''. As long as they recognize the difference between their physical height and their height affected by heels it's logical to me.

 

What's illogical to me is dating wise giving a person you don't a break as I see no advantageous reason for the person giving a break to do so.

[Radu]

udolipixie, this could be interpreted that you are always in your heels.

 

How much time of the day do you spend in them, where, and what size are they ?

[udolipixie]

udolipixie, this could be interpreted that you are always in your heels.

 

How much time of the day do you spend in them, where, and what size are they ?

 

How did you get that intrepretation from me saying:

As long as they recognize it's their height affected by heels and not their true height it makes sense to include heels in height

I don't see a reason to dating wise give a person you don't want a break

[Eclypse]

Would it be ok that I list that im 5'11 but somewhere between 6' and 6'1 in my profile? Or just 6'1 since I wear shoes most of the day?

[USMCHokie]

The height thing is something I really can sympathize with guys on.

 

I don't understand why people get so upset that guys are put off by a woman requiring a guy who is 5'10 or whatever. It is a prevelant requirement, it seems like. And that has GOT to be disheartening. I don't see the problem venting about it.

 

If i was a 5'7 guy and I was coming across all these 5'4 gals who required a man be 5'10 so she can wear her heels and still feel "feminine" by being smaller..yeah I would be irritated too.

 

Lets face it, the VAST majority of women want someone who is a few inches taller than they are. For a guy who is not around 5'10...that's gonna be a pretty regular obstacle, considering the average woman is 5'4 and heels are gonna put her around 5'8.

 

honestly I'd liken being a "short" dude to being an overweight gal. Both are gonna really limit your options, but height can't be helped.

 

I absolutely agree with you on all points. The issue is twofold: people often can't (or choose not to) see outside of their own perspective; and people will place such high value on how they perceive others think of them...and they don't want to be judged as "shallow."

[udolipixie]

Would it be ok that I list that im 5'11 but somewhere between 6' and 6'1 in my profile? Or just 6'1 since I wear shoes most of the day?

 

It's okay if you want to.

 

Though if you're trying to make a comparison to the women in the OP that's quite different as going by the OP the woman seem to recognize the difference between their height and their height affected by heels and don't consider the height affected by their heels to be their day-to-day height.

[Radu]

It makes sense to me to include heels in your height as it affects your height

Do you stay in your heels 24/7 ?

When are you in your heels, where ?

I've yet to meet a woman who won't dump the pumps the first moment she gets a chance to [as they are killer on her feet]; have you seen a waitress in pumps ?

 

especially as the woman don't seem to be thinking since I'm in heels my height is 5'10'' rather thinking when I'm in heels my height increases to 5'10''. As long as they recognize the difference between their physical height and their height affected by heels it's logical to me.

They don't recognize the difference.

 

What's illogical to me is dating wise giving a person you don't a break as I see no advantageous reason for the person giving a break to do so.

I don't get this.

[udolipixie]

Do you stay in your heels 24/7 ?

When are you in your heels, where ?

I've yet to meet a woman who won't dump the pumps the first moment she gets a chance to [as they are killer on her feet]; have you seen a waitress in pumps ?

 

 

They don't recognize the difference.

 

I don't get this.

They seem to recognize the difference between their height and their height affected by heels going by the OP statement:

"Oh, I wear heels, so he must be taller than me in heels, I am 5'6", but come to 5'10", so if you're not at least 6 feet tall , I won't date you".

 

If they didn't recognize the difference they'd likely say "He must be taller than me I'm 5'10" " rather than say he must be taller than me when my height is affected by heels.

 

You're not alone in not getting that I don't see a reason for me to give a chance as in date or consider having sex or a relationships with a person I don't want.

[Emilia]

Yea. I wouldn't like it either.

 

It seems like most people only want a person unshallow enough to accept them.

 

If I was with a woman and it somehow came out that she'd not have dated if I was any shorter, I'd seriously consider dumping her. I'm old. I don't need to settle in that department.

 

I think most people realise that everyone has preferences. I'm yet to meet a tall guy who had an issue with many women's preference for tall guys.

 

Perhaps focusing on the positive rather than negative character traits would help you in dating more. I'm serious.

[Emilia]

Personal preference, I guess. I wouldn't equate 2 inches to 50 lbs... probably more like 10 lbs, in the grand scheme of things. If the guy I was with said that he wouldn't have been with me if I was 10 lbs heavier, it says a lot about his priorities and attitude regarding women and their appearance. It doesn't necessarily say BAD things, but it still says a lot. In that case, like jobaba, I don't think I would be interested in pursuing the relationship, because that attitude denotes a lack of compatibility, to me. I'm not interested in being with someone who makes 2 inches or 10 lbs their primary concern in choice of partners. 50 lbs or 10 inches, on the other hand, would probably be understandable to me.

 

It's never down to precise mathematics, it's usually about the overall package. 2 inches can look dramatic on someone shorter, not so much on someone taller, same for weight. No need for the fake 'holier than thou' stuff

[kaylan]

Why whine about girls who care about silly crap like added false height with foot wear?

 

Do what I do, ignore those chicks, or game them anyways and just use em for a good time. Im 5'9, my height doesnt bother me, but if I came across a girl who had some stupid viewpoint regarding shoes of all things, then she quickly falls out of my dating column anyways.

 

OP, and guys who think like him, need to realize that even with online dating, plenty of chicks arent steadfast about everything they supposedly desire. And so I can make myself clear, I respect a chicks preference for a guy of a certain height...but if her reasoning is because of a fashion accessory...then you can see why I wouldnt be caught dead in a relationship with a chick who thinks that way...even If I cleared her height requirement.