Rules of the Alpha Male

[Leopard]

I don't necessarily think I have to be alpha, I just think it makes things easier.

 

I think what's inadequate is that I'm just no good at interacting with women in a way that intrigues or attracts them.

 

Then your problem isn't that you're a beta, but that you don't know how to charm and interact with women

 

I agree though, for some reason it comes easier to alphas.

 

But from my own experiences, alphas are the men you f**k and betas are the men you marry.

[Emilia]

But from my own experiences, alphas are the men you f**k and betas are the men you marry.

 

ahahahahahahah

 

someone hide this post quickly before it gets noticed!!!!

[Radu]

Seriously: I believe that the goal of being an "Alpha Male," as defined by lame Internet memes, is not a worthwhile pursuit for a smart young man.

 

How about spending the effort defining what you want out of life and what kind of a MAN you want to be.

 

Do you really think that taking advantage of drunk people is a worthy goal?

 

Who says that 90% of people are "below" you?

 

Do you think you'll be happy living an entire lifetime without emotional connections and attachments?

 

I just want you to think about it.

 

There is no reason to be a doormat, either, but you might want to look for different role models than those put forth by the PUA community. They're truly bogus.

 

 

It is a worthwhile pursuit but not in this way, i agree with you.

 

Most of those 'alpha' guys are basically guys who are comfortable in their skins, who have less fears and got used to commanding a level of respect.

That's basically it, inner self-confidence, less fears.

Ppl are attracted to this, regardless of gender.

[ThaWholigan]

 

But from my own experiences, alphas are the men you f**k and betas are the men you marry.

 

foot-in-mouth moment

 

This kinda fuels the bitter guys' point - that women will f*ck the "alphas" in their younger years and then settle for a "beta" guy in their 30s.

 

Either way, it's not as black-and-white as that.

[Leopard]

Either way, it's not as black-and-white as that.

 

I know

 

But I have yet to meet an alpha who is long-term material. I'm just speaking from my own experiences.

[Mme. Chaucer]

It is a worthwhile pursuit but not in this way, i agree with you.

 

Most of those 'alpha' guys are basically guys who are comfortable in their skins, who have less fears and got used to commanding a level of respect.

That's basically it, inner self-confidence, less fears.

Ppl are attracted to this, regardless of gender.

 

I don't disagree with you, but the whole concept of "alpha" has been bogusly misappropriated.

 

Yes - comfortable in your own skin, not being ruled by ones fears and commanding respect are all worthy goals.

 

Nobody's going to reach them by taking advantage of drunk girls or dismissing 90% of humanity as "beneath" them. Guys who really do that are probably just ensconcing themselves firmly in a place where they probably don't really want to be.

[ThaWholigan]

I know

 

But I have yet to meet an alpha who is long-term material. I'm just speaking from my own experiences.

 

I learned a special skill of seeing things through other people's eyes. Imagine you are a man in your mid 20s and women seem to be unattracted to you. You are a nice, unassuming man perhaps, or not. Whatever, women don't want you at all. They go for the "alphas", and have sex with them simultaneously and many times, while you go home alone every night and sleep alone because nobody wants you. And then fast-forward. You are in your mid 30s. You have an OK career, your stable and have a house and car. You're still inexperienced with women. HOWEVER, all those women who didn't care about you or want you before are all of a sudden having dates with you, their interested. They've had their fun and all their sex with men they were actually attracted to. And now they want you.

 

Fast forward even further, a year later. Still mid-30s, and in a relationship with a woman who is bored out of her mind because she's settling in her relationship with this "nice unassuming man" who doesn't know how to make her feel sexy or attract her sufficiently. She's eyeing up all those Alphas she had sex with back in the day, longing. And then one of them comes back around, still charming as ever. She gives in, and cheats on you. Then leaves you.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------

 

As exaggerated as that story is, it happens. And this is what a lot of guys think their future is with regards to women. Obviously, I know better because I'm actually learning things that will help me, but these guys either look in the wrong places or mistakenly believe that nothing they do will work. So they look at the Alphas, with a mix of envy and admiration. Wanting to be them, to have their pick. Their choice. Their career. Their life.

 

 

To address Alphas who are long term material, they are out there too depending on the package you want. The reality is, since sex has become something that is very freely given these days, Alpha men have no incentive to settle down depending on what they want. "Betas" have no choice, they take what they are given.

 

This is how they see things.

 

I see things differently from my view, and I hope to get people round to my viewpoint - which is that 1) it's not that bad and 2) you can indeed attract women if you learn how to do certain things in your life. I don't need to post it in this post already because I have posted it plenty of times elsewhere and there are better resources to help you than just me (PM me if you want the downloads).

[Emilia]

 

I see things differently from my view, and I hope to get people round to my viewpoint - which is that 1) it's not that bad and 2) you can indeed attract women if you learn how to do certain things in your life. I don't need to post it in this post already because I have posted it plenty of times elsewhere and there are better resources to help you than just me (PM me if you want the downloads).

 

The way I see it that it's far more nuanced than alpha and beta for so many reasons. Often it's easier to set up bogus definitions though instead of thinking it all through properly

[GorillaTheater]

I've said it before, but it bears repeating. A man's best bet to get and keep a LTR is to have a healthy mix of alpha and beta traits. It's not that hard, most of us have traits from both "categories" as it is.

 

A woman for the most part wants to be seduced by a confident, somewhat unpredicatable man, and she also wants to know that this man is going to stick around and be a good father. Meet those needs/wants, and you're better than half-way to "Golden".

[Lonely Ronin]

I know

 

But I have yet to meet an alpha who is long-term material. I'm just speaking from my own experiences.

 

Then you haven't been meeting Alphas, you've been meeting jackas*'s.

[ThaWholigan]

The way I see it that it's far more nuanced than alpha and beta for so many reasons. Often it's easier to set up bogus definitions though instead of thinking it all through properly

It's easier to buy into the rigid theories than it is to believe in the complexities of humanity itself, hence why PUA uses the Alpha/Beta theory in some of it's stuff to draw in customers. It's an attractive theory to believe in.

 

But yes, I absolutely agree with you, which is why I believe wholeheartedly in shaping your character without rejecting the core essence of you, because likely who you are is very intricate and unique compared to the next person and vice versa.

[Radu]

I don't disagree with you, but the whole concept of "alpha" has been bogusly misappropriated.

 

Yes - comfortable in your own skin, not being ruled by ones fears and commanding respect are all worthy goals.

 

Nobody's going to reach them by taking advantage of drunk girls or dismissing 90% of humanity as "beneath" them. Guys who really do that are probably just ensconcing themselves firmly in a place where they probably don't really want to be.

 

Just a few minutes ago i was thinking that there might be a correlation between how big a list you got about things you want to change about yourself [and how off the top it is], and how low you are on this imaginary scale.

Basically that list screams lack of self-confidence and that you lack most if not all of those 'qualities' in even the tiniest ammounts.

It also screams a level of ... hatred for women that shows you are at the beginning, as you didn't think things through thoroughly ... you do not want to have sex drunk unless you are in a LTR and she is ok with it. Otherwise it can be misinterpreted as rape.

 

I've said it before, but it bears repeating. A man's best bet to get and keep a LTR is to have a healthy mix of alpha and beta traits. It's not that hard, most of us have traits from both "categories" as it is.

 

A woman for the most part wants to be seduced by a confident, somewhat unpredicatable man, and she also wants to know that this man is going to stick around and be a good father. Meet those needs/wants, and you're better than half-way to "Golden".

 

End the thread right here.

[AD1980]

I learned a special skill of seeing things through other people's eyes. Imagine you are a man in your mid 20s and women seem to be unattracted to you. You are a nice, unassuming man perhaps, or not. Whatever, women don't want you at all. They go for the "alphas", and have sex with them simultaneously and many times, while you go home alone every night and sleep alone because nobody wants you. And then fast-forward. You are in your mid 30s. You have an OK career, your stable and have a house and car. You're still inexperienced with women. HOWEVER, all those women who didn't care about you or want you before are all of a sudden having dates with you, their interested. They've had their fun and all their sex with men they were actually attracted to. And now they want you.

 

Fast forward even further, a year later. Still mid-30s, and in a relationship with a woman who is bored out of her mind because she's settling in her relationship with this "nice unassuming man" who doesn't know how to make her feel sexy or attract her sufficiently. She's eyeing up all those Alphas she had sex with back in the day, longing. And then one of them comes back around, still charming as ever. She gives in, and cheats on you. Then leaves you.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------

 

As exaggerated as that story is, it happens. And this is what a lot of guys think their future is with regards to women. Obviously, I know better because I'm actually learning things that will help me, but these guys either look in the wrong places or mistakenly believe that nothing they do will work. So they look at the Alphas, with a mix of envy and admiration. Wanting to be them, to have their pick. Their choice. Their career. Their life.

 

 

To address Alphas who are long term material, they are out there too depending on the package you want. The reality is, since sex has become something that is very freely given these days, Alpha men have no incentive to settle down depending on what they want. "Betas" have no choice, they take what they are given.

 

This is how they see things.

 

I see things differently from my view, and I hope to get people round to my viewpoint - which is that 1) it's not that bad and 2) you can indeed attract women if you learn how to do certain things in your life. I don't need to post it in this post already because I have posted it plenty of times elsewhere and there are better resources to help you than just me (PM me if you want the downloads).

 

Which is what im scared of..im 32 and never been able to attract a women..if i finally do im gonna be thinking shes just with me because hes desperate tp settle down and have a faimly and not because shes truly attracted to me

[fortyninethousand322]

Which is what im scared of..im 32 and never been able to attract a women..if i finally do im gonna be thinking shes just with me because hes desperate tp settle down and have a faimly and not because shes truly attracted to me

 

Ditto. I'm not sure whether that fate is good, or bad.

[grkBoy]

Best way to be "alpha" is to go your own way in life.

 

Show you won't crawl, beg, and plead to get a woman.

 

Live your life, do things, be someone.

 

They will be pursuing you then.

 

I speak from experience.

[morichu]

So after my latest failed romantic endeavor, I've concluded that I need to shift my behavior.

 

I won't waste time with details, but I'm the typical "nice guy" always friend zoned, girl I love is dating a tool etc...

 

I've composed a list of rules that I am going to attempt to follow as a sort of experiment to see how my social interaction, mood, and success are effected. I am going to keep a copy of the list in my wallet and review it periodically throughout the day to help make sure I am following it.

 

While these rules aren't strictly related to romance it is a central theme and the pursuit of being the Alpha male is in it's most basic elements an endeavor for sexual superiority and success.

 

I would like to invite commentary, suggestions, and general discussion. I further encourage any one who so desires to partake in this experiment with me and share their observations.

 

Without further a due "The Rules of The Alpha Male"

 

1. Have an external locus of control

2. Don’t give your boss and coworkers a reason to bitch about you

3. Don’t second guess yourself

4. Don’t care what other people think, 90% are below you in intellect, style, and taste

5. Combine rules 3 and 4 into an agency of confidence

6. Don’t trust cute girls, they only want to use you

7. Always deny or take advantage of those trying to do the same to you

8. Never turn down drunk sex

9. Never get emotionally attached

10. Stand up straight

11. Don’t be an emotional outlet for others

12. Never play second fiddle, just leave

13. Make others earn your respect

14. Don’t give compliments

15. Act like you got **** to do, even when you don’t

16. Don’t throw your pearls before swine

17. Always remember “Nice guys finish last”

18. Always hide your anger

19. Choose your battles

20. Trust your gut

21. Be your own main man

22. Always have class, confidence, and charisma

 

I think your first mistake is doing it to get a "piece of ass". A true alpha doesn't even worry about that.

 

The basic rule for being an alpha is inner confidence and doing everything you want on your own terms. Nobody can control you. I would say most of these traits are good ones to have.

[darkmoon]

Ah yes...that quietly classy, eternally gracious and dignified, whispering rustle of silk known as Donald Trump.

 

is this your alpha-male status in action?

 

if it is, please tell me why you think sarcasm is attractive.

[fishtaco]

Not sure if I agree with your list, or even know what some of the points mean. But here are some concepts that I'd like to point out.

 

- LS is filled with goody people. Honorable, respectable, considerate, always taking the high road, and they will give you advice based on those same principles. That, unfortunately does not reflect how the real world works. There is only one rule in the real world, survival of the fittest. Hence you see back stabbing psychopaths climb their way to corporate victory. Figure out a way to gain advantage under a given system, and you will benefit. The only thing you have to answer to, is your own conscience. Hence people without conscience, i.e. psychopaths, have a clear advantage over everyone else. However, that's part of the genetic lottery, you can't fight it. If you were born with a conscience, you have to acknowledge it, and find a way to negotiate with it while maintaining the most amount of effectiveness, in love, career, or anything you choose to focus on.

 

- Whether you are good, bad, alpha, beta, whatever, I believe fate has a different plan for everyone. So if you are doing what you do, and you have success, then 1) it doesn't mean it'll work for someone else, 2) you don't need to change anything. On the flip side, if you don't have success, then 1) copying someone else doesn't mean it'll work for you, 2) change your game plan.

 

So I think it's great that you are changing your game plan. If being yourself has proven to not work, then keep being yourself will keep not working. Being one's self may work for some people, and they may truly believe it, and advise you to do the same, but that's exactly my point -- just because it works for them, doesn't mean it'll work for you. You do what you have to do. Fate has laid out a different path for you than for them. Your decision tree is different.

 

Also, what you are doing is social experimentation. And I am absolutely for that. Sure, try being a douche and see how it goes. If you don't like it, try something else. But just remember to take it easy. Don't go overboard, or you'll end up doing something you may regret in the future. Conscience is a bitch to deal with.

 

My expectation, is that you'll try a bunch of different things, then zoom in on a set of moderate rules. Not alpha, not beta, not nice, not jerk-ish, but somewhere in between. And, something that works for you. Whatever you choose to do, it has to be you. Women can smell fake from a mile away. It's fine to fake for now. You're learning. But eventually, you have to be able to incorporate what you've learned, into the real you. So change what you have to, but you won't travel too far from your real self.

 

But the most important thing is you're trying. Try to identify areas you need to improve on. Mental game is what you're talking about here, but what about physical appearance, social intelligence, social status, social network, and even financial standing? They all matter. Women don't look at just one quality. They look at the whole package. You don't need to excel at everything, but you better have an answer for every category.

 

It's okay to think of things in terms of alpha or whatever terminology right now. Eventually, that won't matter. You just do your thing.

[Leopard]

The way I see it that it's far more nuanced than alpha and beta for so many reasons. Often it's easier to set up bogus definitions though instead of thinking it all through properly

 

Thinking it through "properly" results in women making huge lists of what they want in a man and, consequently, they turn off any man and never find what they are looking for because they "thought it through properly".

 

The way I see it, it's easier to just go with the flow and see what works and what doesn't. Otherwise dating turns into interviews to see who fits what.

[M30USA]

Jesus wasn't an "alpha male". He was the servant of all, and therefore the greatest of all. Don't waste your time being an "alpha male". The only thing you'll get is shallow women who don't know what real confidence is. Be the greatest by being the lowest. That's what the world doesn't understand.

[henderson14]

An "Alpha Male" would never post or read anything like the stupid list you posted. You don't learn to be an alpha male.

[Leopard]

I know I said you can't become an alpha male, but maybe there are ways you can avoid being an obvious beta?

[henderson14]

I know I said you can't become an alpha male, but maybe there are ways you can avoid being an obvious beta?

 

 

You are who you are. The most you could do is avoid being clingy or put on a temporary act.

[Iggy Pop]

I would like to thank everyone for their thoughtful commentary and discussion.

 

To those of you who did point this out, I did intended to write "Internal locus of control" but simply messed up.

 

I would like to call out The Wholigan and Fshtaco specifically. Wholigan has given me a lot to contemplate, and as such, I can not produce a valid response or commentary right now. Fishtaco, from what you wrote, I feel we are like minded thinkers, and please don't interpret this as condescension, but I seems like you grasp my goal and intention behind this experiment, and have provided valuable advice on how and what I should do with the results of my pseudo experiment.

 

I also appreciate those of you who included christian morals and theology in your posts. I recognize this pursuit is very secular in its goals, but feel like your statements advocate what are truly the right things to do.

 

Now for an update, I attempted to follow my set of rules and behaviors for the first time today. I began with my work, striving to do the best I could and not give my coworker and boss anything to be upset about. I feel I left work on a good note and accomplished this goal.

 

The second specific instance that pertained to my list was allowing myself to be an emotional outlet. I work at a law office, and a woman came in for a consultation regarding child custody. She was an attractive young woman and was very distraught and emotional. I consciously avoided trying to comfort and console her. Despite my efforts I still said a few words to try and make her feel better and provided her a box of tissues. I viewed apathy in this situation as unnecessary because the woman was not a object of desire for me, if that makes any sense, and I felt sorry for her. At the same time the cynical side of my personality kept thinking, "well I bet your ex was probably fast talking and a good ****, and now your harvesting the fruits of your own stupidity and myopia."

 

After work I went to the bar to celebrate one of my friends birthdays. Some of my former coworkers were there. Two of them are attractive females of my age who are also married. With a few scotch and cokes in me I began a banter with one that started off playful, but quickly lead to a comeback of mine that was very witty however a bit chauvinistic and demeaning, and the two girls ceased interacting with me for the rest of their time at the party.

 

Being a Tuesday night in a relatively small town, there were not really any viable targets of pursuit at the bar and I didn't have any further opportunity to conduct my experiment.

 

My perception is that this experiment will not have frequent or immediate opportunities to exercise the more bold and drastic rules, but that it will manifest in a series of separate and distinct situations over a rather lengthy course of time.

 

The truth of the matter is that I don't want to permanently take on many of the characteristics or follow some of the rules I have set forth. And as several of you have stated; if this is not in my nature It will not stick and I will simply appear as a poser. Furthermore I hope that as some of you have stated, altering my behavior is not the right course of action and the the true testament of masculinity is developing independently despite failure. But as Fishtaco has stated, this is an idealist view of the reality of the situation.

[Mme. Chaucer]

is this your alpha-male status in action?

 

if it is, please tell me why you think sarcasm is attractive.

 

I'm pretty sure Taramere has no "alpha male status."