Why don't I EVER get friendzoned?

[Failboy]

Seriously, in pop culture everything is about the friend zone when it comes to dating and relationships. You hear catch phrases like "We can stay friends" all the time, mocking situations when women aren't into a guy or break up with him.

 

I, however, fail a lot with women. Yet I have never, EVER been friendzoned. Not once.

 

Which just baffles me because I'd imagine I should be the type to get friendzoned, as I am pretty good to talk to on an insightful, less superficial level, like to listen to people and am generally empathetic and warmhearted.

Still, women either want me or completely abandon me and never look back.

I don't even hurt them or anything, but they just stop returning my calls and texts and just hope I will stop contacting them rather sooner than later. They flat out stop interacting with me, including my ex-girlfriends. They never friendzone me.

 

I hear so many people complain about getting friendzoned on the internet and so many people making jokes about this stereotype. But actually, I'd love to be friendzoned once in a while. I like friends, including female friends.

 

Any idea on how to get friendzoned when rejected?

[Badsingularity]

Always agree with everything she says.

 

If she is complaining about something always take her side even if you realy don't think she is right.

 

Act a little more feminine.

 

Make sure to be a little more passive about things. Throw in a little passive aggresiveness every once in a while.

 

Give her lots of compliments. Over do it.

 

Always be available to her even if you already had plans.

 

Agree with her if she complains that all men are jerks.

 

 

 

 

These things will insure that she will not become attracted to you , but may still want to keep you around as a friend.

 

 

 

 

 

[Failboy]

Always agree with everything she says.

 

If she is complaining about something always take her side even if you realy don't think she is right.

 

Act a little more feminine.

 

Make sure to be a little more passive about things. Throw in a little passive aggresiveness every once in a while.

 

Give her lots of compliments. Over do it.

 

Always be available to her even if you already had plans.

 

Agree with her if she complains that all men are jerks.

 

 

 

 

These things will insure that she will not become attracted to you , but may still want to keep you around as a friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well the thing is, at first I of course would rather have her attracted to me and not be friendzoned. It's just that I prefer a new friend once in a while over total oblivion.

For instance there's sometimes stuff you don't do with your social circle but like to do with a girl, but can't cause you don't get a date and all the girls you ever went out with in your life absolutely ignore you on all levels for no drastic reason; which is just unfortunate. I had to go to the movies by myself because of this, lol.

 

Another problem I have is this: Sometimes I really just want a platonic femals friend, one that belongs to my extended social circle who I really get along with in group activities. But whenever I want to do some one on one stuff, they don't even reply to the request. It's really odd and disrespectful. My guess is they believe I want to date them on a sexual level but just don't dare to ask for a date or something.

Either way it's unfortunate to not even be able to make female friends. I understand dating is hard for many broke, normal looking men but not even be friends seems over the top to me.

 

Another issue is the fact that I hate lying. Whenever a girl simply isn't well-dressed or good-looking, I can't tell her she is. That makes it hard to compliment them while dating below average ones.

[TheMeatloafJuggler]

I, however, fail a lot with women. Yet I have never, EVER been friendzoned. Not once.

 

Any idea on how to get friendzoned when rejected?

 

 

Well here's my guess on it.

 

And this isn't meant to be a jab at all women, because it's not, but it's just my observation over time.

 

Personally I find that most women will want to stay "friends" if they can get something out of it. Some like attention. Some like men who will buy them things. Some like men who they can rely on to tell them that they are pretty.

 

For example. I own and operate several businesses that have, to my good fortune, done pretty well for themselves over the years. Some women might zone me because they think I can help them get a job or know other people who can help them get a job. I am also mechanically inclined. I suspect some women will want to zone me because I can fix a lot of things. I can install and build and fabricate as well. Asking me for help is cheaper than paying someone to change brake pads or redo wiring or build a deck. I'm not saying I do this on beck and call for every woman, but I'm saying that I can and have the ability and have a workshop might make some women think I will for them. I own rental property and investment property. Some women might want to zone me because they think I can help them with a place to live in a pinch. Also in my local area, I deal a fair amount with the legal community around me, so I think some women might zone me or try to because I'm a handy person to know if they need a quick referral to a legal resource or such.

 

When I haven't heard from a woman in a long time, and she calls me, I can literally count the seconds down to when she is going to ask for a favor.

 

This is my experience with most women. If one ever does you a favor, she remembers. If one gives something to you as a man, many will expect some kind of return of equal value very soon. Try watching a group of women go out to dinner sometime, watch how so many of them will divide that bill and tip to the very last penny. I've learned in my life to never take anything from a woman, to me, that's like taking a cigarette in jail from a guy who is 3 feet taller and weighs 120 pounds more than you and then wants you to hold his pocket later for repayment on that Malboro.

 

I assure you, my guess on it, if you were the HR director for a big company like Google or you were an established attorney in your city or you owned some rental property or your brother was a Sgt at the local police department and could help fix a ticket or you were manager of the most popular restaurant in town, that plenty of women would happily friendzone you.

 

If all you have to offer is being a good and decent person, well for many women out there, that's not enough. Not enough to date and sometimes not enough to want to keep you around for attention and free dinners. Is this all women? No I don't think so. But do I think a lot of American women act this way? Sadly yes.

[Failboy]

Good list badsingularity, but you missed the most important requirement. You have to be USEFUL to them, you have to work for them, you have to fight for them, and you have to commit crimes for them if necessary. It's not enough to just talk about their problems, you have to solve it all on your own, you have to fight their battles, and you can't ask for a dime in return. Act like she's a celebrity or the greatest girl to ever walk the face of this earth and the only reason you didn't put a bullet through your own head last night is because she still needs you.

 

Failboy, you have to suck it up and put on your white knight armor if you want to be in the deep end of the friendzone.

 

 

Wow, that sounds like a too high price to pay. I just want someone to go to the movies with or eat sushi with and so on.

I thought people who mutally enjoy each other's company would want to be friends. Guess not always, then.

[Failboy]

If all you have to offer is being a good and decent person, well for many women out there, that's not enough. Not enough to date and sometimes not enough to want to keep you around for attention and free dinners. Is this all women? No I don't think so. But do I think a lot of American women act this way? Sadly yes.

 

 

Thanks for your elaborate post, it makes sense. I didn't think about how some men are so much richer than me, have so many more connections and are capable of fixing physical things. I can't even pick up a loaded dinner bill too often... well I can, but I'd rather spend the little money I have on something that makes more sense. Also I don't define friendship as something one should have to indirectly pay bills for.

 

It's just whenever I had a good time on a date, I could understand that I maybe wasn't hot enough for her or whatever. But I could never understand why she would flat out abandon me entirely. No I do, thank you.

[Els]

Offering the view from the other side of the coin: It's tough for women to know what to do with a guy they've dated and found they aren't really interested in. Common consensus seems to be that you should not lead him on or offer him any 'false hope' whatsoever, and offering a friendship is categorized under that more often than not. How many guys have you seen complaining about how that 'bitch' friendzoned him? More than the guys complaining about no women wanting to be friends with them, that's for sure. Perhaps those girls have been indoctrinated into believing that the decent thing to do is to cut ties.

 

If you genuinely want to have female friends, don't start out asking them out on dates. Begin on a purely platonic level and maintain a purely platonic level. Try to go out in groups of at least 3 instead of 1 on 1, at least early on. Many friends do that anyway, even friends of the same sex.

 

As for the guys complaining about being 'used' - you are being used because you let yourself be used. Not all women use men. Only the women who have been allowed to do so time and time again by men desperate to have a chance at even speaking to the hottest or most desirable girl around. You wasting your time and attention on a girl like that is nobody's fault but your own.

[phineas]

I used to get friend-zoned all the time.

Now it's yea or nay & I absolutely LOVE IT this way.

 

Now op if women are just running from you & don't even want to be just friends after going out with you then it's not them, it's you.

[monkey00]

This kind of thing only happened when I was younger in school. As an adult, it almost never happens. You just have to be forward and make your intentions known and not accept anything less than a romantic relationship.

 

The way I can see there are two categories:

either you guys dated and it didn't work out and she gives you the whole "I hope we can be friends line" BS to end it with you, when in fact she doesn't really mean it but hope you get the idea of cutting contact.

 

And there's the other one who wants you to be BFF, as an easy way of putting you in the back-burner so she gets her sh*t together or uses you as a backup. She could also be highly insecure and wants take the friends first approach before dating you.

[phineas]

I AM EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. I enjoy female friends but I never get friend zoned. Either girls want me or they don't.

 

I DO have female friends that I put in the friend zone because I enjoy their company but don't want to date them. But I never get friend zoned by women.

 

My theory is (assuming you are like me) that you don't let women take the lead in relationships. You decide what you want from a woman and she can either submit or reject you. So when you are romantically interested, you make that clear and allow the woman to accept you or reject you.

 

Most men who get friend zoned are timid and frail with women they want to date without ever making moves. I make moves when interested and I don't make moves when I'm not. My lack of interest in sex from certain women makes them want to sleep with me.

 

Life is funny like that.

 

That's about it.

 

Women just know, i'm not going to waste my time on them if they have nothing to offer me.

[Leopard]

Ahaha

 

It's funny you say that because I have the exact same problem! None of me exes talk to me either. It's all or nothing.

 

When you figure out how to get friendzoned, please let me know!