fermun82 Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 I have been in a beautiful relationship with a girl for about 2 years. We haven't had any major problems, we like similar things and dislike similar things. I am still at college but she just graduated this year, just a few months ago. She was a year ahead of me, so I will be finishing college next year. After graduation she had to move to her home city and we were both aware that it would be difficult, nevertheless chose to stay together. Before she left she spent about a month with me in my house, we had a wonderful time and everything was working perfectly. I have been with this girl for so long, and I love her so immensely that I would do anything for her. The first week of being away from eachother was fine. She called me often and I emailed her or called many tiems a week. After about 3 weeks of being apart, I started to notice that she was a little distant. She didn't answer my e-mails as often, or as soon as she used to. She started to hang out with some of her friends in her city and I felt like I was being put last in the priority list, so I called her and asked her about it. I told her that I was noticing something different in her, and that I needed to know. She started crying and told me that, there is something wrong with the way she feels for me. She told me that she is realizing that she is starting to miss me more as a good friend. I asked how she feels for me and asked to explain to me the way she feels now, her answer: I don't know. She said she doesn't know exaclty what she feels or what she wants. I was a bit mad, and although I was calmed, I thought it would be a good idea to break up, she wasn't able to respond to my "how do you love me" questions and I felt that she just didn't love me anymore. Later on the day, she called me back and told me that she didn't want to break up with me, that she is hoping that this will pass. We now scheduled a date to see each other and talk personally, she will come on July 30th. I understand that she is under a lot of pressure, she just graduated from college, she doesn't know what to do, we both know that becuase of the distance, me finishing up my last year of school and the fact that she works now, we are not going to be able to see each other that much. Besides after I graduate our future is uncertain. I was also very very surprised at the fact that she changed so soon, in less than 3 weeks she changed completely and started to doubt her love for me, of a almost perfect relationship that has lasted 2 years, we communicate very well, and we have talked about all those fears, but why did she change so soon? What should I think of that? I don't know, I am very confused. For now I am just waiting, but I have the feeling she will end up braking up with me, although she says she doesn't want to. I don't know what to do, what if I wait another 3 more weeks and then she just breaks up with me. What do I do until I get to see her again?, I am just hanging in this sort of limbo, I don't know if she loves me or if she doesn't. Her answer is still the same... I don't know what I am feeling. I love her immensely, and it breaks my heart to think about breaking up, but if she doesn't love me anymore, I don't think there is anything I can do. Should I wait, or just finish this now? I have a busy year coming ahead with my graduation thesis to write and a million other things. I would love her to be with me, but her doubts make me loose hope. Please help, what should I do?
HokeyReligions Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 She might not want to, but it might be the best thing to break up. You two only knew each other in a scholastic atmosphere. It's pretty common for people to drift apart after school and realize that their feelings were not as strong as they thought. You are still living in a familiar routine, she is living in new territory. New faces, new job, new responsibilities, etc. Once you leave school and find yourself in the situation she is in now, you might feel the same. Everyone's future is uncertain. The good thing is she said she doesn't know what she wants or how she feels. That might mean that she does love you and wants to stay with you, but is unsure of how to go about it because she feels pressured by the people she is around now. Talk. Set boundaries if you decide to stay together. Make short-term plans and goals that are achievable. Know that even if you do break up, it's not the end of the world for either of you.
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