Why do some women seem to have less loyalty in going after the same person then Men?

[PJKino]

It seems as if the majority of time if two men who are friends like the same women one of the guys will let whoever had his eye on her first go for it,with a lot of women it seems that doesnt deter them and women will put their friendship in jeopardy by fighting over the same guy..

 

It seems as if Men realize there are more fish in the sea where women fight over the same small group of Men and think this is the last good catch left..

[ThaWholigan]

It's not the "top 20" phenomenon that guys like to think it is........BUT....

 

I've seen this happen way too many times. It's coming from the same scarcity mentality that plagues a lot of men. In this manner, it's more apparent because some women WILL compete with each other for a particular man, mostly on a subtle level. This has happened with so many women - my mother was unwittingly a victim of this kind of mentality. She embarked on an LTR with a man who was separated (still with him now - good guy really). Ever since she got with this guy, women have been unnecessarily catty with her, but it's been mostly subtle. People have ignored her, gossiped, tried to muscle in on the guy, copied her clothes, watched her surreptitiously etc........my mother believes it to be envy. I used to call her paranoid for reading too much into stuff - but upon inspection, her intuition rarely fails her. She is a worrier though.

 

As for men, we USED to think there was more fish in the sea - now we are plagued with a form of scarcity mentality ourselves, believing ourselves to be unable to improve our looks or get women, or do most of the things we really want to be able to do.

 

All-in-all, I say we come from the same mentality more often, it's just that one is expressed differently from another, depending on the gender, or more specifically, the individual.

 

 

 

*INB4 Bitter Brigade crying "FEMALE HYPERGAMY"

[SteveC80]

Women are never taught the same loyalty in friendship as Men are plus women dont deal with the same physical repricussions men do in stabbing each other in the back or going after the same person

 

Does this have something to do with your friend who has married women in your social circle all over him?

 

I had the same dynamic..my wifes friend said she loved how i was the leader of the group who made the decsions aka the alpha and that alone with i guess beign physically attracted was enough for her to desire me..

 

Certain thigns are powerful triggers to women emotionally and can make even married women gets amazingly turned on and cloud their judgement..

[fortyninethousand322]

It seems as if the majority of time if two men who are friends like the same women one of the guys will let whoever had his eye on her first go for it,with a lot of women it seems that doesnt deter them and women will put their friendship in jeopardy by fighting over the same guy..

 

It seems as if Men realize there are more fish in the sea where women fight over the same small group of Men and think this is the last good catch left..

 

Because usually, that man probably is the last good catch left. LS is the place that tends to prove this. It's not about "hypergamy" it's about there being too many men, mostly of poor quality.

[Emilia]

I was thinking about something similar the last few days. There is a woman in our group who always tries to compete with me for male attentoin and I recoil from this because I was brought up by a competitive mother and I always said to myself I wouldn't put myself in that competing situation ever again (it wasn't my choice obviously when my mother put me through that as I was really young)

 

I think scarcity theory is one aspect and the other is ageing. I think a lot of women panic that they won't find the right guy by a certain age they will be passed it. This woman I'm mentioning in my example is very pretty but she is in her late 40s and I think she feels time is running out for her. It's crazy what the fear of losing your looks can do to a woman if you think that society judges you based on that mainly.

[mesmerized]

I've never known two women fighting for the same guy, ever. I do however know guys who did it. Your observation is not true in my experience.

[Emilia]

I've seen both.

[Teal]

I hang out in gaming communities, and I see guys scramble over and stab each other in the back for so much as a pat on the head from your garden-variety attention whore all the time. My friend and I were joking about how simultaneously sad and funny it is just the other day.

[joystickd]

Mostly what I have come across is friends going after men that are in relationships with their friend. A lot of it has to do with scarcity mentality and also that some women talk a lot more about their relationships than men do. Women talk in detail about sexual experiences with the men they are with. They basically give a blueprint on how to take their man.

[Kamille]

It's been years since I've seen this happen. Oddly, I think competing for the same person is more common among men. As in: "she's a hottie, may the best man win". It's mostly friendly competition. The few times I've seen women engage in this kind of tug of war, it was about themselves proving they were "hotter" than the other, so it tended to get personal. But only a few of the women I know, the more insecure, would engage in that kind of behavior. It isn't as commonly accepted among women as among men.

 

Then again, I could, just like anyone trying to theorize on this, be mostly talking out of my ass.

[ThaWholigan]

I hang out in gaming communities, and I see guys scramble over and stab each other in the back for so much as a pat on the head from your garden-variety attention whore all the time. My friend and I were joking about how simultaneously sad and funny it is just the other day.

Seen that too!

[ThaWholigan]

Women are never taught the same loyalty in friendship as Men are plus women dont deal with the same physical repricussions men do in stabbing each other in the back or going after the same person

 

The bolded is a myth. I've seen girls get their asses KICKED HARD for things like this. Maybe it's a product of where I live and the people I know, but women fight dirtier than men do - they will batter each other in my experience.

[Emilia]

The bolded is a myth. I've seen girls get their asses KICKED HARD for things like this. Maybe it's a product of where I live and the people I know, but women fight dirtier than men do - they will batter each other in my experience.

 

Oh yeah, if you live in South London you know how common b*tch fights are haha

[ThaWholigan]

I've never known two women fighting for the same guy, ever. I do however know guys who did it. Your observation is not true in my experience.

 

A family friend recently got stabbed with an axe and his house set on fire - over a girl he didn't even do anything with.

 

So yeah, I've seen the reverse.

[Cracker Jack]

The only time I've seen girls do this is back in grade school:laugh: About 98% of the time, I've seen men (been friends with a few who did this) pull out the most dirtiest tricks in order to gain cool points with a woman over their friend or in some cases, a family member. I've known guys who would make up terrible lies about their supposed "friends" in order to make themselves look good in the eyes of a woman, while making the other guy look bad in the process. It's stupid.

 

Most of the time, the other guy was either involved with the woman or had interest. Loyalty certainly isn't gender based, but in terms of my experiences, most guys aren't loyal at all when a beautiful woman is the deciding factor.

Edited August 6, 2012 by Cracker Jack