jmjacobs31 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Has anyony sucessfully stayed friends with their ex? Ive tired to go NC and I've broken it twice. We were together 12 years, broken up for 4 months. He left me and its not been easy on me. He still wants to stay friends and see our dogs that i took in our break up. We have a large group of mutal friends that we have known for 14 years and one of my best friends is married to his cousin so he will always be in my life. Do i go NC untill i am.over him and then try to have a friendship with him? Do i just do limmited LC and only deal with him when i absolutly have to? Im struggling with NC as its killing me to have NO contact with him. I know I need to begin to move on and i kinda feel like I will keep holding on to hope that he will want me back if i dont go NC. Help?!
Matt145 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Stay NC dont ever be friends with your ex, trust me u will never ever get him back if u stay friends with him, because if your his friend and you still talk and your still there for him what has he lost? Go NC and show him what he has lost, dont be there for him. And even though theres times when u may have to contact him u can always get friends to do it for you. Dont be friends unless u are 100% over him. I know it hurts like mad when you are NC but just delete everything his number,delete him on facebook ect. When you feel like contacting him just think of how much of a dick he was and that he dumped you. 1
Sav Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Has anyony sucessfully stayed friends with their ex? Ive tired to go NC and I've broken it twice. We were together 12 years, broken up for 4 months. He left me and its not been easy on me. He still wants to stay friends and see our dogs that i took in our break up. We have a large group of mutal friends that we have known for 14 years and one of my best friends is married to his cousin so he will always be in my life. Do i go NC untill i am.over him and then try to have a friendship with him? Do i just do limmited LC and only deal with him when i absolutly have to? Im struggling with NC as its killing me to have NO contact with him. I know I need to begin to move on and i kinda feel like I will keep holding on to hope that he will want me back if i dont go NC. Help?! You CAN be friends, but only after a period of strict NC. I broke up with my ex of 4 years and were communicating throughout, my feelings were never sorted out even though I got a rebound. Feeling it was unfair, I initiated a strict NC of 1.5 years with my ex and lo and behold, we're talking and are perfectly comfortable with each other. So go through NC first, it will hurt, but it's worth it
Ruby65 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Imo, the only reason to stay friends with an ex is if you have kids together. (Dogs don't count.)
YorickBrown Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Has anyony sucessfully stayed friends with their ex? Ive tired to go NC and I've broken it twice. We were together 12 years, broken up for 4 months. He left me and its not been easy on me. He still wants to stay friends and see our dogs that i took in our break up. We have a large group of mutal friends that we have known for 14 years and one of my best friends is married to his cousin so he will always be in my life. Do i go NC untill i am.over him and then try to have a friendship with him? Do i just do limmited LC and only deal with him when i absolutly have to? Im struggling with NC as its killing me to have NO contact with him. I know I need to begin to move on and i kinda feel like I will keep holding on to hope that he will want me back if i dont go NC. Help?! Great question(s)! With your first question, personally, I have not... I mean, at least the serious ones...which means, those I had sex with. So no, no success with friendships there (but then, maybe its just me, and I have not really tried to pursue it). It's probably because of the "When Harry Met Sally" movie line: "Men and Women can Never Really be Friends....the sex part gets in the way". Unless of course, it starts out with being a Friends with Benefits (another movie) kind of relationship then...yeah, but even then it creates complications later on. Well, I guess it just depends on both your "personalities"...I guess, you can stay friends, for the sake of your dogs..(you can also watch "Must Love Dogs"...what's it with me today with all these movies?) No Contact is definitely the answer (probably the best and only thing to do right now---immediately). If you really have to get in touch with him...do it through your "mutual friends".
fucpcg Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Go LC. I am friends with every single ex, except for one, and am very glad I am. NC to me is a joke. Sure breakups are tough, that's life. We have to take the good with the bad. You were with him 12 years for a reason, those reasons don't die with the breakup.
Author jmjacobs31 Posted August 7, 2012 Author Posted August 7, 2012 You CAN be friends, but only after a period of strict NC. I broke up with my ex of 4 years and were communicating throughout, my feelings were never sorted out even though I got a rebound. Feeling it was unfair, I initiated a strict NC of 1.5 years with my ex and lo and behold, we're talking and are perfectly comfortable with each other. So go through NC first, it will hurt, but it's worth it This is what I am thinking too. Every time I see him I take a few steps back, which I really cant afford to do. When I told him a while back I wanted NC and he got all huffy and puffy and told me that I need to remember that I was the one that chose the "no communication route" Which is stupid because hes the one that ended our relationship. As for our dogs I could care less if he sees them, hes unable of taking care of them on his own and he knew that when he ended things with me that I would be taking the dogs. In the long run I want to be able to at least be in the same room /at the same function as him with out anyone being uncomfortable. Oh NC.... its not gonna be easy, not easy at all.
Recommended Posts