irc333 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Something I've noticed lately....are there CERTAIN hobbies where people....if their prospective dates aren't into the same hobby they aren't into, they'll NEVER date this person. Ironically, since it's funny how the tables are turning and now even WOMEN have become sports fanatics as much as the men did in the olden days.....I saw a couple of profiles that said, "I like sports, if you're not into sports, don't email me...it won't work out." The only REASON a person would say this, is because whoever they dated...had no interest int he hobby, and THAT person would always give them a hard time about it or even make them give it up. Otherwise, I see no reason not to date someone that doesn't share in the same hobby. I mean, does anyone here have a deal breakers that involve standard hobbies?
Author irc333 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 Funny, in her "First Date" section, she said going to a game would not be a good idea for a first date, because she'd ignore her date the whole time while she'd be so fixated on her team. LOL Seems they're kind of admitting to their own selfishness.
grkBoy Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I wouldn't hold a hobby against someone unless I could see that it would create lifestyle clashes. So for instance, I would not date the sports fanatic female...because I really don't watch a lot of sports. Yeah, I like European soccer and occasional Hockey, but football season hits and I could care less. Hence we would not completely get along. I think when it comes to hobbies, some people would find some a total turn-off...meaning no matter how many qualities you have that they want, they'll see this one as a total dealbreaker. Most of the time though, most like BALANCE. So let's say you like collecting bugs, or dressing in sci-fi costumes. I think many would not have issue unless this is the ONLY thing, or you have that combined with other "uninteresting in dating" hobbies like video games and such. However, if it's collecting bugs, cooking, photography, travel (actual travel, not just weekends in Vegas and Miami), and art...it would make for a balance. Now I know some guys will chime in how it seems women are "allowed" to just be into partying, shopping, and "traveling" (the opposite of the way I mentioned). I can only say the issue is that it's the guys who then don't hold women up to the standard that those women hold men to. I mean, if guys are playing the "I'm just happy a pretty girl is talking to me" logic while women maintain the "laundry list", then guys shouldn't complain when they find their girlfriends "boring".
Author irc333 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 Right, I understand that.....but I have known people with differing hobbies to date successfully, even married people. I just can't see how "liking sports" can be cause for divorce or something. lol I'm into Sci-fi, which is an interest MOST women care less about anyways, hell, I have friends that are spouses of their wives, and one time....their wife came out to a nerdy event to support her husband, even though she's not really that much into it. I wouldn't hold a hobby against someone unless I could see that it would create lifestyle clashes. So for instance, I would not date the sports fanatic female...because I really don't watch a lot of sports. Yeah, I like European soccer and occasional Hockey, but football season hits and I could care less. Hence we would not completely get along. I think when it comes to hobbies, some people would find some a total turn-off...meaning no matter how many qualities you have that they want, they'll see this one as a total dealbreaker. Most of the time though, most like BALANCE. So let's say you like collecting bugs, or dressing in sci-fi costumes. I think many would not have issue unless this is the ONLY thing, or you have that combined with other "uninteresting in dating" hobbies like video games and such. However, if it's collecting bugs, cooking, photography, travel (actual travel, not just weekends in Vegas and Miami), and art...it would make for a balance. Now I know some guys will chime in how it seems women are "allowed" to just be into partying, shopping, and "traveling" (the opposite of the way I mentioned). I can only say the issue is that it's the guys who then don't hold women up to the standard that those women hold men to. I mean, if guys are playing the "I'm just happy a pretty girl is talking to me" logic while women maintain the "laundry list", then guys shouldn't complain when they find their girlfriends "boring".
HumptyDumpty Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Well, I'm really open-minded for all sorts of things. However.. thinking of animals, me loving them, I could never imagine dating someone who does regularly some hunting. In the end coming home with some dead deer and I shall cook it... No, this and fishing, not my thing. Fishing less for the dead fish which may result from this (even though I think it's horrible, must hurt the fish :S), it's just boring... Otherwise, sports, I watch everything. He just has to be kind to not watch golf all day, but to switch, like soccer or something
maybealone Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I mean, does anyone here have a deal breakers that involve standard hobbies? Yes, golf. If he doesn't play, then that's a lot of time we are either spending apart, or that I am missing out on something I love. I just can't see how "liking sports" can be cause for divorce or something. lol I think there is an issue of just "not getting it." I know men whose wives seem to plan every big family activity on the days of the biggest footballs games because they just don't understand what could be so important about a game. So I think a marriage between one sports person and one non-sports person can work, as long as there is respect for how important sports are to the sports person. As in, the middle of a playoff game is not the time to want to discuss the relationship, and if you want to have sex you damn well better be prepared to finish by the end of the commercials.
Bristolius Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I think it's kind of sad that watching other people do stuff counts as a hobby. 1
El Brujo Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Well, I don't think it would be such a hot idea for me to fish for dates if my hobbies included making shrunken heads in the basement...
Emilia Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I think it's kind of sad that watching other people do stuff counts as a hobby. Really? Watching other people achieving something remarkable as a team - or by themselves - is seen as sad rather than aspiring?
Author irc333 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 To counter this, it always frustrated me when I met women that lets say joined us with our Kayaking Meetup, but she'd NEVER bring her boyfriend. Why? Because he isn't into the great outdoors, and enjoys video games. She moved down here with him, so they're living together, but she's a big outdoors person and he is obviously not. I would try to throw in some questions like "So you don't mind dating a guy that's not into outdoor activities like you are?" She said she sometimes alternates weekends, does stuff with him, because apparently gaming is something she enjoys occasionally, too. He is rather sedentary, while she has to "get out". I dunno, just kind of weird to attend activities of your hobbies without your boyfriend all the time....but apparently having conflicting hobbies works. ..but she's probably having to constantly tell men, "Sorry, I'm taken" everytime they try to ask her out. lol Yes, golf. If he doesn't play, then that's a lot of time we are either spending apart, or that I am missing out on something I love. I think there is an issue of just "not getting it." I know men whose wives seem to plan every big family activity on the days of the biggest footballs games because they just don't understand what could be so important about a game. So I think a marriage between one sports person and one non-sports person can work, as long as there is respect for how important sports are to the sports person. As in, the middle of a playoff game is not the time to want to discuss the relationship, and if you want to have sex you damn well better be prepared to finish by the end of the commercials.
Author irc333 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 Personally, I never really cared for sports too much, but I know how the sports are PLAYED. I know the concepts of 1st 2nd, 3rd, and 4th downs are. How many yards someone has to run the ball in order achieve a 1st down. But I have no real interest in sitting down and watching it. I"m just one of those clowns that sits with a bunch of other clowns who only watch football when the SUPERBOWL is on....mostly for just the commercials LOL But I could NEVER date someone that would get EMOTIONAL over their favorite team loosing, no joke there are people who literally cry or get depressed over a loosing team. But, that has NOTHING to do about conflicting hobbies, that's a person with mental issues pretty much.
Emilia Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I dunno, just kind of weird to attend activities of your hobbies without your boyfriend all the time....but apparently having conflicting hobbies works. If she was in a sewing circle she wouldn't take her boyfriend with either then, would she? It's just that you wouldn't notice because you wouldn't be there. ..but she's probably having to constantly tell men, "Sorry, I'm taken" everytime they try to ask her out. lol I'm sure she knows how to handle herself as she must face the same situation every time she opens the front door to leave her house on her own.
maybealone Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 (edited) I dunno, just kind of weird to attend activities of your hobbies without your boyfriend all the time....but apparently having conflicting hobbies works. I think it does work for some people. Going back to golfing, there are a lot of men that see golf as something to do with their buddies to get away from the wife and kids. Most of those guys probably wouldn't take their wives golfing even if they were into golf. For me, I don't mind some different interests, as that gives us something to talk about and gives us some time apart. But I want the ones that are most important to me and him to be shared. Edited August 6, 2012 by maybealone
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I don't understand why you continue to concern yourself with such things. If somebody on a dating profile says something that is very exclusionary, or whatever - that's the time to move on to the next profile. Instead, YOU usually come here and make a thread about it. Why? I truly don't get it. Some people really want to share their hobby with their SO, and others don't care. Also, some people have had a negative experience in their past with an SO who did not share their hobby and who also resented the time and energy put into pursuing that hobby. A remedy for this? Date a man who has the same passion for the same hobby. If that man is not you … well, there you go! 1
veggirl Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Well, fishing and hunting are 100% dealbreakers for me. I would have no problem "advertising" that because I wanna avoid guys who do those things.
carhill Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Historically, I found many of the women I met to view herpetology as distasteful and icky. Something about handling reptiles made their skin crawl. The exceptions were those who worked in the business. I don't recall any other hobby deal breakers but perhaps I was unaware. I didn't get get too many dates during the period I was actively racing but I think that was due to time, money and interest being in the sport. It is enjoyable meeting someone who is curious about the world and different interests and hobbies outside of their own. For myself they have been few and far between so are relished.
EasyHeart Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I think a lot depends on how into the hobby they are. If they spend every weekend golfing or going on 50 mile bike trips and you aren't into that activity, then it leaves little time for dating. The first time this came up was years ago when I met a woman who refused to date me because I don't play golf. She was shocked that I didn't play and said she wouldn't "give up" golf to date a subhuman like me who didn't know how to play. I don't really have any hobbies. I work, I read, I exercise, I watch TV and I spend time with my nieces, but I don't think any of those qualify as a hobby. I don't have time for much else besides those things (and my girlfriend, of course).
maybealone Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 It is enjoyable meeting someone who is curious about the world and different interests and hobbies outside of their own. For myself they have been few and far between so are relished. Yeah, I should add that learning new hobbies is good too. There are some I probably wouldn't have any interest in, like video games, but there are other things I could totally see myself getting into if I had someone to do them with. I love to learn about new things, and still have some interests that are from past relationships. The first time this came up was years ago when I met a woman who refused to date me because I don't play golf. She was shocked that I didn't play and said she wouldn't "give up" golf to date a subhuman like me who didn't know how to play. I'm sorry. (Just kidding. I know it wasn't me. And I don't think non-golfers are subhuman, they just don't know what they are missing. )
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