reva Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I was in a beautiful relationship for five months while I was in Israel. I had to go back to the states for a little bit though to see my family, he took me to the airport and cried he told me to remember his touch when I was feeling sad and that everything would be okay. He couldn't leave me at the airport. In tears he stayed and called me as I was going through airport security. One of the many things he said to me a week or so before I left was that he could wait for me 25 years, but to please not take that long. Three weeks after I had arrived to the states, he said he wasn't sure if he could do this. I had certainly noticed a change in his voice about 2 weeks prior to that though, and had been asking him what was wrong. He couldn't utter the words "break up. I hung up on him. Later that night when we talked again because he asked me to call him I informed him that I was coming back to Israel in a month, but that I wasn't going to tell him because I had wanted it to be a surprise, that I was going to set up through his sister. He was initially shocked and exclaimed "You're still coming back here now?!?" He said he was sorry. But that was really all I had gotten out of him. I cried and I cried, and oddly enough he cried with me, he even blamed me saying that this was the second time I made him cry in a month (since the airport.) I told him I couldn't talk to him anymore because it would be too painful for me. He was shocked at this too and asked if his friends could check up on me. I told him no. "Not even, my friends?!?!" He asked. He later disobeyed this request by having his best friend speak to me via Facebook chat. He admitted to this when he asked me to call him, and since I was vulnerable and missing him, I did, and sure enough he admitted and apologized. But, there was no progress made on my end, and there were still tears. Four days later he wanted to get back together. At first I agreed, because I love him and this is of course what I had wanted. However, the following day I called it off because I wanted him to not have to try and be with me, but I wanted him to want being with me. Also, I couldn't fully trust him again. He gave a variety of reasons. He said that he loved me too much, he said that he was scared that if I got on a plane and returned to Israel, he was scared that he wouldn't be able to deliver and would feel guilty that I would be all alone. And then just recently he said that he didn't love me anymore. He says he can't control the way he feels, and that he's sorry. I don't believe him and neither does anyone else. People are shocked, we had a beautiful, and near perfect relationship. People, say it sounds like he's lost, confused, doesn't know what he wants. And that when I come back he may want to try again because the distance did something to him. No one and especially I can believe this is happening. Please help me understand. I know it can't be true for someone to be so in love and then just out of nowhere claim that they aren't in love anymore.
MCMLXXXIX Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 5 months isn't such a long time for a relationship. Your appreciation of each other is still progressively growing. Whether or not he still loves you or not (maybe he never did, because he did not understand his original feelings), is not important. He clearly isn't as passionate as he was. If neither of you can revive this, it might be better to let it go. From what I understand, what you guys have is a LDR, and for that reason also, it might be better to let it go... 1
justwhoiam Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 This makes for a very troubled relationship. Honestly, I can't put up with someone telling me he doesn't love me. More so when it's early into the relationship, when passion should be at the top. It's different when feelings develop and grow. But that's not what's happening here. 1
Forever Learning Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 I don't think this guy knows exactly what he wants. He sounds unstable, best to proceed with caution if you proceed at all. 1
Author reva Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 Thanks for the responses guys.. I have an update. He says that he was mean to me on the phone to make it easier on me. He said that he never wanted to shelve me and thats why he didn't take advantage of the offer to take a break. I've been talking to one of his friends not in a romantic way or anything. But he was desperate for me to tell him who it was. I dunno he indicates that he still cares by asking a lot of questions.. I'm pretty exhausted after this last phone call
AlexCross Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Thanks for the responses guys.. I have an update. He says that he was mean to me on the phone to make it easier on me. He said that he never wanted to shelve me and thats why he didn't take advantage of the offer to take a break. I've been talking to one of his friends not in a romantic way or anything. But he was desperate for me to tell him who it was. I dunno he indicates that he still cares by asking a lot of questions.. I'm pretty exhausted after this last phone call Manishma, I will be in the motherland in two weeks visiting family. I have no luck with Israeli women!
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