eleanorhurting Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Question of the day: have you ever fallen for your average looking friend because of his personality after Being only friends for few months?. well as much as I think my boyfriend is attractive to me, he might be average to a lot of people mostly because he is a little chubby. It was his sense of humor and the fact that we got each other and laughed at the same things that made the attraction grow.
2.50 a gallon Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Heavens yes, I was able to move them up and out of the friendzone many times. Maybe knowing how to do this is the difference between being a player and the rest of the male population. For proof, my current lady and I have been together for coming up on 17 years. When I first met her she was in love with her live in BF. My only shot was to find a way to become her friend and wait for the BF to make a mistake. We even went on an early date, not a real date, but I did get her to myself, breakfast at IHOP followed by us shopping for macrome supplies. I had just gotten a new apartment and she offered to make me some fancy plant hangers if I would buy the material. Three years later he made his mistake, and they temporarily separated. A couple of week later when she decided she wanted to get back into the dating I was the fist and last she called. In my player days, I had a large 29 gallon fish tank, situated down low in the wall unit, about 4 inches up from the carpet. Around which I situated several fancy looking pillows. In the tank itself were probably 30 small community tank fish, Neons, Cardinals, danios, etc. Then I would ofer to teach them how to play backgammon, along with couple of glasses of wine. Then after we got a buzz on, remark how peaceful it is to just relax and watch the fish swim. A lttle touching, a little kissing, in almost every case led to us making love on the floor in front of the fish. And then just relax and let the love chemicals flood her brain and change you status from friend to lover I got one chance at my Ex-fiance, we got the kissing started when we were fishing, then to my place to cook the fish, and I could tell she was starting to withdraw, and the fish tank worked its charm
PJKino Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 We separate emotional and romantic feelings for male friends the same way we do for female friends. Would you develop romantic or sexual feelings for women you had zero sexual attraction to? On the flip side ive seen married women grow feelings for the husbands friends because they bonded and became close. Im pretty sure the physical attraction for them was always there for the guy but once they grew to like the friend as a person and connected feelings became more intense and you could se the flirting and interest the wife had deep down come out and it was awkward 1
Teal Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I've known it to happen, but it's a bit uncommon. The basic synergy between two people is usually pretty obvious from the start. You might not know very much about someone in the beginning, but it's usually easy to tell whether they're the kind of person you want to date, the kind of person who's a fair-weather friend for a night out, the kind of person who seems to "get" you, etc, and it would take a significant shift in perspective to be proven wrong.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Would you develop romantic or sexual feelings for women you had zero sexual attraction to? No, but on the friendship scale she wouldn't get far past the acquaintance stage.
carhill Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 IME, it's possible, and the man is generally provided a ten second window to recognize and act upon it. 1
Teal Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 IME, it's possible, and the man is generally provided a ten second window to recognize and act upon it. That's not fair. We give you at least twenty.
Author Necromancer Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 We separate emotional and romantic feelings for male friends the same way we do for female friends. Would you develop romantic or sexual feelings for women you had zero sexual attraction to? I am not talking about ugly and fat loser friends that you would prefer to shoot yourself in the face than to sleep with them, just a guy friend who is not your typical type (average looking/slightly above) and has a amazing personality.
Author Necromancer Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 IME, it's possible, and the man is generally provided a ten second window to recognize and act upon it. If he doesn't act up on it, is it then thrown in the garbage?.
iris219 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 No, but on the friendship scale she wouldn't get far past the acquaintance stage. You wouldn't have a close friendship with a woman you didn't find attractive? That makes no sense. I am not talking about ugly and fat loser friends that you would prefer to shoot yourself in the face than to sleep with them, just a guy friend who is not your typical type (average looking/slightly above) and has a amazing personality. I wasn't talking about Shrek either. I have several very attractive male friends that I'm in no way attracted to.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 You wouldn't have a close friendship with a woman you didn't find attractive? That makes no sense. Not necessarily, but if I felt comfortable enough to let the friendship grow "close", then that would be accompanied by feelings of attraction on my part.
carhill Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 If he doesn't act up on it, is it then thrown in the garbage?. I think 'garbage' is bit strong, but emotions are fleeting so 'nether' might be more appropriate. This presumes that the lady never was attracted to the man at any time prior. I term it 'situational attraction'. Here one moment; gone the next, often never to return. In fact, I've had experiences (more than one) where the woman will later deny that she ever exhibited attraction at all. Once it departs it was like it was never there. It's all good information.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Funny. Most guy friends if I don't immediately friendzone them, will automatically assume they have a chance to get with me. Yes sometimes the attraction is there but I have gona past the occasional makeout sessions ie. Kissing at parties. Its really weird since I do have more girlfriends than guy friends because I will feel some tension with guys. I'm a flirt but all in harmless fun but it wil often make guys assume I'm into them. Example: I recently made a new friend with a guy who is a personal trainer. Our interests are similar and we exchange fitness tips from time to time. We were very clear we wereplatonic friends but he occassionally went out of his way to make me think otherwise. He picks me up at night to go out to dinner and even when I offer to pay my share he refuses my money. Over this past weekend we went to a party with his friends. While intoxicated we got more more hands on. We went from never hugging for goodbyes to playfully touching and kissing. Again one should never take partying flirting seriously but he seems to think otherwise.I'm slightly weirded out. All of a sudden I'm feelings like there's tension between us especially from him.
NYC-BigKat Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I know it can happen, but I have yet to experience this myself. Either they have interest from the start or it the interest never comes. Regardless of how funny\cool guy she thought i was. Yes, i have had few female friends telling me that I'm an amazing guy..... Yet they won't develop feelings for me. What's your thoughts on this?. They wont get feelings for me either . I know I know its awful but um... there's this girl I like alot & we always text & I wanna be with her & I dont wanna get friend zoned so I'm trying to be careful not to be.
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