joel Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 anyone here met guy or girl in their 40's or even older and never got married. what and why was there reason for it??? i like to hear it. i met a few and mainly guys in their 40s and they even had good jobs and degrees . been in relationships buit never got married. all seemed cool nice guys and i met them through the meetup.com. anyone else met these guys and i like to hear or are you one
january2011 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 In a few years, I might be one of these people. A couple of years ago, I came out of a very long relationship that didn't end in marriage - I spent much of my 20s and 30s with him. I do have an SO though so I still have a small window to get there before I hit the big 4-0.
madjac74 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 i met a few and mainly guys in their 40s and they even had good jobs and degrees . been in relationships buit never got married. anyone else met these guys and i like to hear or are you one God bless them! I bet they are happy as ****! With all their money and no one to take it from them just because they were "married"
StrangeBehaviors Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 This will be a new high growth segment of the population. And it may increase overall happiness for that group, or more likely...suicides.
madjac74 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 This will be a new high growth segment of the population. And it may increase overall happiness for that group, or more likely...suicides. What? Why do over 40's never married relate to suicides...I think the reverse would be more likely. 2
CarrieT Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I actually know a handful of heterosexual men and women who have never married - for a variety of reasons. Some have had short-term relationships but not wanted children. Others are happier being on their own, but enjoy the occasional hook-up, and one or two who just never connected "on that level" with anyone to consider marriage.
amaysngrace Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I think people that age who say they are happy being alone are liars. I also think that being alone makes them have difficulty to adapting to being in a committed relationship because they've been going it alone all their long lives.
madjac74 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I think people that age who say they are happy being alone are liars. I also think that being alone makes them have difficulty to adapting to being in a committed relationship because they've been going it alone all their long lives. Holy balls! How does that make them a liar? I can be happy being alone that doesn't mean I want to be alone. This is the essence of most of the problems in this forum! And just because you are alone at 40 and never been married doesn't mean you have never been in a committed relationship...geesh! You just disregarded the entire gay rights movement
amaysngrace Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Holy balls! How does that make them a liar? I can be happy being alone that doesn't mean I want to be alone. This is the essence of most of the problems in this forum! And just because you are alone at 40 and never been married doesn't mean you have never been in a committed relationship...geesh! You just disregarded the entire gay rights movement Yea like I said people who say they are happy being alone and love their single life really don't. And I was speaking of straight people...not gays.
madjac74 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Yea like I said people who say they are happy being alone and love their single life really don't. And I was speaking of straight people...not gays. I'm glad you can speak for the entire straight single community who are happy. However that includes me and I don't remember nominating you
amaysngrace Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I'm glad you can speak for the entire straight single community who are happy. However that includes me and I don't remember nominating you Well then why aren't you tripping the life fantastic right now? Cause you'd rather happily be posting here? Okay. I believe you.
madjac74 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Well then why aren't you tripping the life fantastic right now? Cause you'd rather happily be posting here? Okay. I believe you. I think this is fantastic! I had a lovely sunday with my kids and now they are sleeping peacefully in their beds and I am corresponding with what I consider to be a good place with some good people while anyone I know in my small part of the world is sleeping. I suppose I'd rather be curled up with someone special but that isn't an option right now. I guess I'll just share my time with you
amaysngrace Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I think this is fantastic! I had a lovely sunday with my kids and now they are sleeping peacefully in their beds and I am corresponding with what I consider to be a good place with some good people while anyone I know in my small part of the world is sleeping. I suppose I'd rather be curled up with someone special but that isn't an option right now. I guess I'll just share my time with you Um you have kids so I don't think you even apply to the original question. Maybe you never got married but you played house and you're not in the category I was referring to cause you have children so you aren't alone.
madjac74 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Um you have kids so I don't think you even apply to the original question. Maybe you never got married but you played house and you're not in the category I was referring to cause you have children so you aren't alone. Oh I am actually divorced which is why I was sticking up for those who may be in their forties and haven't had marriage ruin them...I see how our points got crossed a bit
amaysngrace Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Oh I am actually divorced which is why I was sticking up for those who may be in their forties and haven't had marriage ruin them...I see how our points got crossed a bit Oh. Well the guys I know who are over forty and seem like they have the life of a playboy and are all carefree are really sad inside. They just seem to have a great life from a married guys perspective. But they're lonely sometimes. That's the ones I know. And the women I know are picky and stuck in their ways and difficult to adapt to a relationship because they've been doing it by themselves for all their life and they don't need a man. I wouldn't call them happy either.
The Tallest One Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Personally I have seen a lot of sadness on both sides. I have single friends who have never married, wanted to but it just didn't happen and they are not overly content. I also have number of friends, one in particular who is married and has three children and he can't stand his wife and vice-versa! I'm going through the divorce process now, been seperated four years, and I was dumped six weeks ago from last gf! I have two kids so I'm not alone in life but I would love to find someone to share my life with! Just don't know when that might happen or how many more relationships I'll go through before I find a good fit? It's not easy being single but at least I only answer to me! 2
Emilia Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Oh. Well the guys I know who are over forty and seem like they have the life of a playboy and are all carefree are really sad inside. They just seem to have a great life from a married guys perspective. But they're lonely sometimes. That's the ones I know. And the women I know are picky and stuck in their ways and difficult to adapt to a relationship because they've been doing it by themselves for all their life and they don't need a man. I wouldn't call them happy either. Married people can be lonely too, there is nothing lonelier than being tied to someone you are slowly drifting away from. Being single is MUCH better than being in an unhappy relationship because meeting someone new is always around the corner. The ideal is a happy marriage. 4
madjac74 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Married people can be lonely too, there is nothing lonelier than being tied to someone you are slowly drifting away from. Being single is MUCH better than being in an unhappy relationship because meeting someone new is always around the corner. The ideal is a happy marriage. As much as people are always unhappy with their marriage, there is always comfort in having that person lying next to them at night. It is a security that trumps everything and a reason a lot of people put up with the crap that they do 1
Woggle Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I am pro-marriage but it is something a man should be very careful about before he enters into plus with the state of relationships these days you can't blame a person for thinking the risk isn't worth it. 1
Devon5 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Yes, I have a cousin who was 40 years old and he had good job and degree. He was unmarried till the age of 40. Because he had big family responsibilities and without completing those responsibilities he did not want to get married. But now he is a married person and living a happy life. 1
iris219 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 (edited) Every never married, older man I’ve met has had commitment issues. I’m sure there are some who “it just hasn’t happened for,” but I haven’t met them. The ones I’ve met are terrified of the responsibilities that go along with having a LTR. They have had lots of options, but typically sabotage any semblance of a relationship. Often there are addiction issues and/or they tend to be emotionally unavailable as well. For this reason, I am cautious of never married men (or ones who never had a LTR) over 40. Divorced men are usually a better bet if you are interested in serious relationship. For whatever reason, the never married, older women don’t have the same issues, IME. They want very much to be married and would make great wives, but are surrounded by men who don’t value marriage or relationships, or who can’t sustain relationships. It’s unfortunate. I read a study that said if a man makes it to 37 without marrying, he most likely won't (the % was VERY low that he ever would). And it's not because he can't find anyone. Edited August 6, 2012 by iris219
sleepy one Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 anyone here met guy or girl in their 40's or even older and never got married. what and why was there reason for it??? i like to hear it. i met a few and mainly guys in their 40s and they even had good jobs and degrees . been in relationships buit never got married. all seemed cool nice guys and i met them through the meetup.com. anyone else met these guys and i like to hear or are you one I have and the reasons are varied. these are all guys by the way. most of the reasons are commitmentphobes, pickiness, unattractiveness, socially awkward, discoraged in love, or just not wanting to be married. some times more than one of these.
Emilia Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Any sane man would be terrified of having his assets hinge upon the emotions of a woman, especially with, you know, the extremely high likelyhood of a divorce. Of course women don't have the same "issues", they don't stand to lose half of their ****. There is a regular well established member here who still pays alimony to her ex husband and HIS kids (they aren't hers) There are numerous reports regarding the financial status of divorcees concluding that women are usually worse off than men because they tend to get custody of the children and it takes them much longer to work back to their pre-divorce financial status. Men rarely apply for primary custody (another myth bust ). Perhaps you wish to educate yourself in the ways of the modern world. 1
sleepy one Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I think people that age who say they are happy being alone are liars. I also think that being alone makes them have difficulty to adapting to being in a committed relationship because they've been going it alone all their long lives. you're right, mostly. just guys in my sample so do not know if its the same for some say they are happy but one look at their face says otherwise. the happiest like their freedom and playing by their own rules, but this is 10%. i'm 41 and happily married. the most unhappy tend to be the ones with the poorest social skills, don't get how the mating process works, often act desperate and needy and are sent home by women time and again, often give up and retreat into their own world. these guys in some instances aren't just not married by 40, they've hardly been in a relationship, which turns gals off like nothing i've ever seen.
sleepy one Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I read a study that said if a man makes it to 37 without marrying, he most likely won't (the % was VERY low that he ever would). And it's not because he can't find anyone. I'd agree that few guys who make it to 37 will ever marry but it sometimes that he can't find anyone. there's a variately of reasons. are you in a community where women outnumber men?
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