Iggy Pop Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I'd like to start by saying that I need objective and diverse insight in this matter, and want to thank anyone in advance for their contribution to this thread. I'm a 21 year old male, and I've been pursuing a 28 year old woman. She went to Stanford for her undergrad, and is an attorney in my town. So she is a pretty intelligent woman. We've gone out to lunch once with just the two of us, and a few more times with some of her friends. She is seeing another guy that I know of who is 38 and in the Air Force. We text each other relatively often, and I try to invite her out, but she always kinda dodges my invitations. Any how, we hadn't spoke in three or four days, then out of no where she calls me at 2 in the afternoon and wants to talk about her parents, and her ex fiance, and is acting very distraught. She then asks me to come over. So I do, and she turns out to be really wasted. We make out for a couple hours, take a nap in her bed, and talk. Things started to get a little sexual however I opted out considering her intoxicated state. As it turned out she was supposed to have a date with the other guy at five, and wound up kicking me out and saying she felt like a horrible person for making out with me right before she had a date with him. This is the first time we have ever gotten physical, and what I'm trying to figure out is if she did this because the alcohol lowered her inhibitions and this is what she really wanted, or if she isn't attracted to me when she is sober. On a final note, I not trying to just sleep with this girl, I think she's a real catch and I want to try and have something serious. Sorry this turned out so lengthy.
ascendotum Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 My guess is she probably finds you cute/sweet but you are not suitable for a relationship which for her at her age could likely be a guy she wants to marry & have kids with.....that will be more like the guy knocking on her door that evening. For sure the combination of alcohol + emotional distress over ex/family got you some very close emotional bonding with her. I get why you didn't want to take advantage of her intoxicated state considering you want more, but I have a feeling that was a golden opportunity (well for sex with her anyway, maybe not a relationship)
dixiepix Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 rom what you describe, it sounds as if she is interested and that yes, her intoxication allowed her to let down her guard. With her being in a high profile profession, so is her personal life, unfortunately. Dating someone older would likely make her appear more adjusted, settled, and trustworthy. Whereas, dating someone younger would likely make her appear "fresh out of college", aloof and not as trustworthy or skilled as the former. Unfortunately, it is likely that her potential clients would be middle age or older...therefore, she is likely, maybe even subconsciously attempting to uphold an image of what her client base deems appropriate. It also sounds like she is embarrassed by what happened. First of all, I wouldn't lose hope if you are genuinely interested. But given her situation, you may have to be or offer to be a "hidden part of her life, at least until she is well established in her career.
Author Iggy Pop Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 I appreciate both of you taking the time to share your thoughts. I guess I'll try to talk to her tomorrow while she is sober and see if I can figure out if she doesn't see me as a serious option, or if she wants to keep things on the DL.
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