Some encouragement needed...

[panthersfan44]

Hey everyone,

 

This might be kinda long, but please read and help me out.

 

I'm going to college this month and I know things will probably get easier for me when I leave. I've been in love with a girl for the past four years; all of high school. We've always been attracted to each other and been kinda back and forth, and we dated for close to a year my sophomore year in high school. I know it's my first love and I don't know what's out there, but it doesn't change my feelings. For the past year and a half, she's had a boyfriend. It just so happens that one night while she was dating me, she kissed this guy (pretty sure no coincidence that they ended up together though). Her reasoning was that she wanted to make sure of her feelings for me, and stupidly I accepted that.

 

After we broke up a couple years back, she had promised to me that we would go to our school's proms together and end up together again till the end of high school, she just needed some time off and some space. But during her space, she made sure to keep me interested so that she wouldn't lose the affection of someone she "cared" about. Obviously, seeing that she's been in another relationship for a while now, this didn't happen. I've been heartbroken ever since our break up, and haven't been able to get over her even when truly trying. She was in three of my classes this past year which didn't make it easy.

 

It's hard to explain, but I care about her a lot, and I believe that she cares for me too. I don't understand it, but I know she does. At the beginning of this summer, I realized I only had a couple months left to get closure for myself and try and spend some time with her. She started coming onto me more and talking to me and said she was going to break up with her boyfriend near the beginning of summer, which only fueled my goal to spend time with her more. After going to lunch with her a couple times it was obvious that she wasn't going to break up with her boyfriend until the very end of summer, making it impossible for me to get what I wanted. Realizing this hurt me a lot, but unfortunately didn't change any feelings I had.

 

The part that really gets me is I know that she cares about me a lot. But I don't understand why she doesn't want to spend time with me before we leave. These are the last few weeks we'll ever have the chance to really be close again until we drift apart and then just become memories. I went to a therapist thinking that would make me feel better, but it really didn't. I hope I'll feel better when I go to college, but it really hurts me that she won't spend any last time with someone she cares so much about. I know she hasn't been good to me, but I can't help my feelings and she's all I think about and all I've ever been thinking about, and I feel like I've failed myself and wasted the past few years by ending without being with her at all.

 

Realistically, I don't want a long distance college relationship with her, but getting what I want in the end would just make me feel so much better but I don't see it happening.

 

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I just really need some encouragement because I don't see myself getting what I want, and frankly she's not worth the trouble in the first place, but I can't seem to get that into my head. I'm hurting a lot and any advice is appreciated

 

Thanks

[HumptyDumpty]

I'm sorry to read this.... however, she's not being fair to you! She's stopping you moving on with your life, always throwing in some hope for you, only to keep you stringing along... you need to let go

[panthersfan44]

I'm sorry to read this.... however, she's not being fair to you! She's stopping you moving on with your life, always throwing in some hope for you, only to keep you stringing along... you need to let go

 

I haven't been able to though and I don't know what to do right now... Do I stick it out and try and see her as much as possible in these next few weeks knowing this is the last time we'll ever be close in any way at all, or do I stop talking to her as much as possible

[Tyler.]

I'm sorry this is going to be a long response, but you need to hear this.

Dude you're young, you'll meet new girls. I'm not just saying this, by meeting new girls you'll see that she wasn't that special. She was your first love and that first love is important for everyone. But usually you look back and see what went wrong, and just take lessons.You will realise your and her mistakes out of it, and in your case, you'll realise she was just a cheating immature girl. You may remember the good times, but never forget how she strung you along. Just, have some respect for yourself, don't go for her ever again. I'm not trying to put you down, i've done the same mistake but when you realise all the things she did to you and if you just accept it in order to be with her, that means you don't have enough self-respect (again, i've made this mistake, so i'm telling you not to.)

Kissing someone while dating you, she's a bitch. In my book that counts as cheating and no cheater deserves the time you think of her. No matter how much you guys loved each other, no matter how much time you spent together she purposely kissed another dude, that is disrespecting to you, you should never accept that. She cheated. I repeat, never, for whatever cause it may be, don't do things that will make you lose respect for yourself.

Telling you that she will break up with her boyfriend, who does that? That means she doesn't respect him, so why should she respect you ? He is her bf and she is saying that behind his back, so why wouldn't she say it behind your back? Seriously, from what i've read, she seems to be a low-level human being, cheating, talking behind her partner and god knows what else (seriously). That kind of person doesn't deserve to be loved, that simple.

 

I know you've asked for encouragement. The reason i've written so much bad **** about her is, i believe it to be true. Just by reading your post, i've become angry against her, because she did not deserve your love. She betrayed you, and what you should do right now is, realise that you're better than that. What she did may fuel your anger, that is good. But at the end of the day, realise that you are better than that, and you are better than her. Count this as a lesson and move on, you don't want a relationship with her. There would be no trust in that relationship, and it would never work out, not in a million years.

[panthersfan44]

I'm sorry this is going to be a long response, but you need to hear this.

Dude you're young, you'll meet new girls. I'm not just saying this, by meeting new girls you'll see that she wasn't that special. She was your first love and that first love is important for everyone. But usually you look back and see what went wrong, and just take lessons.You will realise your and her mistakes out of it, and in your case, you'll realise she was just a cheating immature girl. You may remember the good times, but never forget how she strung you along. Just, have some respect for yourself, don't go for her ever again. I'm not trying to put you down, i've done the same mistake but when you realise all the things she did to you and if you just accept it in order to be with her, that means you don't have enough self-respect (again, i've made this mistake, so i'm telling you not to.)

Kissing someone while dating you, she's a bitch. In my book that counts as cheating and no cheater deserves the time you think of her. No matter how much you guys loved each other, no matter how much time you spent together she purposely kissed another dude, that is disrespecting to you, you should never accept that. She cheated. I repeat, never, for whatever cause it may be, don't do things that will make you lose respect for yourself.

Telling you that she will break up with her boyfriend, who does that? That means she doesn't respect him, so why should she respect you ? He is her bf and she is saying that behind his back, so why wouldn't she say it behind your back? Seriously, from what i've read, she seems to be a low-level human being, cheating, talking behind her partner and god knows what else (seriously). That kind of person doesn't deserve to be loved, that simple.

 

I know you've asked for encouragement. The reason i've written so much bad **** about her is, i believe it to be true. Just by reading your post, i've become angry against her, because she did not deserve your love. She betrayed you, and what you should do right now is, realise that you're better than that. What she did may fuel your anger, that is good. But at the end of the day, realise that you are better than that, and you are better than her. Count this as a lesson and move on, you don't want a relationship with her. There would be no trust in that relationship, and it would never work out, not in a million years.

 

Deep down I know you're right and she's been completely awful to me. Right now I just don't know what to do. I would say we're on good terms and I don't want to seem dramatic and out of the blue just cut her off and not be her friend or whatever. It shouldn't matter because of what she's done to me but i just don't know

[Tyler.]

Just cut her off, you shouldn't even want to see her again. She was the past, the first cut is the deepest dude, i know your sadness but it's for your own good believe me. You will never forget what she did to you. If you want to say goodbye, just say goodbye and go. Think of it this way, by not sticking around, not giving her affection, she will start to realise what she has missed on. Stay strong, she hurt you but show her that you've got the power to let it go. Say good writtens, goodbye and just leave. It will be your decision, so she will not be able to do anything.

And about not seeing her ever again, so what ? We both know you're not missing out on anything. As i said, she lost you, you didn't lose her. You were better than her. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache by not giving into her bull**** and just leaving.

[panthersfan44]

Just cut her off, you shouldn't even want to see her again. She was the past, the first cut is the deepest dude, i know your sadness but it's for your own good believe me. You will never forget what she did to you. If you want to say goodbye, just say goodbye and go. Think of it this way, by not sticking around, not giving her affection, she will start to realise what she has missed on. Stay strong, she hurt you but show her that you've got the power to let it go. Say good writtens, goodbye and just leave. It will be your decision, so she will not be able to do anything.

And about not seeing her ever again, so what ? We both know you're not missing out on anything. As i said, she lost you, you didn't lose her. You were better than her. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache by not giving into her bull**** and just leaving.

 

You're right, I need to just forget her and let it go. It sounds ridiculous but I can't get it out of my head that I'm not going to find someone prettier and better than her... Even if she's been bad to me

[panthersfan44]

The other night she texted me and I ignored it. Then, the next night at around the same time she texted me again. I responded and eventually she asked to go to lunch two days later. I said maybe and then she responded and that was that. The next day I was feeling pretty ****ty and couldn't stop thinking about it and eventually I gave in and said we could go to lunch.

 

Today we went to lunch and we just talked and then hugged at the end. This was basically our goodbye before we go to college and part ways and she was a lot less emotional about it than I imagined her to be. She had made a promise at the beginning of summer to go ice skating with me by the time we left, and I brought it up and she listed the days she was free and said "don't get your hopes up, maybe but probably not". And that was that, our goodbyes.

 

I know I screwed up by going to lunch in the first place with her but I couldn't help myself. I can't get this feeling out of me that just wants to keep trying to get some final closure for myself so I feel like I didn't fail myself, spending all this time trying to be with her. It sounds dumb but I had this picture in my head of us before we left for college doing something together and then kissing and that would be me getting my closure I needed.

 

Instead I just feel really empty and broken, and I don't know what to do now. Part of me wants to try and go ice skating with her and have one last try, but it's unrealistic and I'll probably just end up getting shot down by her. I could just not talk to her again, and that would probably be my best option but that just doesn't sit right with me, because she'll be going off and wouldn't have understood how hard all of this has been on me and how I've put up with it because I care about her and I know she cares for me. I don't want to necessarily make her feel bad, but would it be so bad for me to send her a text or something just saying that this whole time I've tried to have a good relationship with her, but overall she's been pretty awful to me and the fact that she hasn't cared to see me much at all before me leaves just shows me that I wasted a lot of time on her.

 

Sorry for rambling but I'm having a really ****ty night right now and I can't get it off my mind

[Tyler.]

The other night she texted me and I ignored it. Then, the next night at around the same time she texted me again. I responded and eventually she asked to go to lunch two days later. I said maybe and then she responded and that was that. The next day I was feeling pretty ****ty and couldn't stop thinking about it and eventually I gave in and said we could go to lunch.

 

Today we went to lunch and we just talked and then hugged at the end. This was basically our goodbye before we go to college and part ways and she was a lot less emotional about it than I imagined her to be. She had made a promise at the beginning of summer to go ice skating with me by the time we left, and I brought it up and she listed the days she was free and said "don't get your hopes up, maybe but probably not". And that was that, our goodbyes.

 

I know I screwed up by going to lunch in the first place with her but I couldn't help myself. I can't get this feeling out of me that just wants to keep trying to get some final closure for myself so I feel like I didn't fail myself, spending all this time trying to be with her. It sounds dumb but I had this picture in my head of us before we left for college doing something together and then kissing and that would be me getting my closure I needed.

 

Instead I just feel really empty and broken, and I don't know what to do now. Part of me wants to try and go ice skating with her and have one last try, but it's unrealistic and I'll probably just end up getting shot down by her. I could just not talk to her again, and that would probably be my best option but that just doesn't sit right with me, because she'll be going off and wouldn't have understood how hard all of this has been on me and how I've put up with it because I care about her and I know she cares for me. I don't want to necessarily make her feel bad, but would it be so bad for me to send her a text or something just saying that this whole time I've tried to have a good relationship with her, but overall she's been pretty awful to me and the fact that she hasn't cared to see me much at all before me leaves just shows me that I wasted a lot of time on her.

 

Sorry for rambling but I'm having a really ****ty night right now and I can't get it off my mind

 

No it's good that you're writing these on here, it's not rambling dude, it's expressing your emotions. This is where you should express them, not to her, because she doesn't deserve to hear that you still care.Caring is of course acceptable but in your case, as in the fact that your ex is a lying cheating bitch, **** that. And her telling YOU to not get your hopes up, WTF?! Seriously, you have to understand that she doesn't decide anything anymore. She did all that to you and she expects you to still hope and wait for her to return ? Dude the best thing for you, if she ever decides to text you or call you again, is just basically tell her to **** off(I'm dead serious). You have to understand, she is not better than you. Looks, money and everything is irrelevant, judge a person by her character. And her character traits are lying and cheating. Well that's a shocker.

 

Have you ever had a close friend or a relative die? I'm not just asking you this, i've experienced this a lot. And it taught me several things. First, enjoy everyday. Second, life goes on. This may sound unimportant or overused , but after you see your friends and people younger than you die, you realise how stupid you've been yourself. I drank, cried and moped after several relationships but after some time you just realise, i'm just wasting time. Crying is not going to make them come back, it's not going to fix a broken relationship.

It's ok to feel sad, you have feelings like all of us but when is it going to be enough? When are you going to start living your life again dude? Ask yourself these questions. I see people on this forum that are having serious coping issues for years. I'm not saying anything bad to them, but you have to realise no matter what, life goes on. They may have issues for the rest of their lives, i'm not cricising them or anything, but are you really willing to let your life pass you for one person? Like on your deathbed, are you going to be happy with how you've spent your life? And you may just forget her after a couple of months or weeks or whatever, but are you going to be content with how you've spent those months or weeks?

Realise this, nobody is better than you, you are what you make of yourself. So go and do what makes you happy. She was not the center of the universe. And while not knowing her at all, in my book she doesn't even deserve any respect or care from you. Cheaters just decide to kiss/bang someone else , like they don't accidentally fall into bed with people and say ''Ah might as well since we're here'' Judge her by how she acted, how she treated you.

You're just stuck on her past, the good ol' times. Dude realise that she had it in her to go and do these stuff. After cheating on someone like you, she should have felt bad and begged you to come back, but she tells you not to keep your hopes up. REALISE HOW ****ED UP THIS IS! Do not go ice skating or whatever, who is she to ask for your time ?

I understand that you don't have closure yet. I've had several relationships that just ended. Just like that. For whatever reason. I know you've made plans for your future together, but re-think them right now, do you want to be with a cheater? Like how many years of wondering is she cheating on me, where is she, why is she late, can you handle? You still say that you've thought the closure would be different, like with a kiss or hug, but why would you want to have an intimate romantic moment with a person you don't trust ? She did wrong by you, why are you still wanting this ? You don't seem like you're fishing for breadcrumbs dude, but the problem is, you still accept the **** she gives you. Seriously, you'll think about that ''don't keep your hopes up'' comment for some time in the future, and you'll wish you've came up with a comeback. Something that she will realise she's done wrong by you, she can't take it back. Everyone is affected by rejection, no matter what they say. Don't give her this power over you, don't lose your self-respect mate. There are better girls than her out there, believe me. I know this because, anyone who you can trust, is better. You may have a supermodel gf, a freak in bed, but if you don't have trust for her, it will never, ever work out. Just keep your head up high, have self-respect for yourself and DON'T give into her ****.

I'm sorry abour the super long post, it's because i made the same mistakes when i was younger, i'm telling you what i should have said to my former self. Don't waste your time thinking of people that don't deserve it. There are people that deserve everything you can offer, family, friends or girlfriends. Keep on making yourself and them happy, work your ass of and build your life however you want to build it. It will all end one day man, life is too short.

[panthersfan44]

No it's good that you're writing these on here, it's not rambling dude, it's expressing your emotions. This is where you should express them, not to her, because she doesn't deserve to hear that you still care.Caring is of course acceptable but in your case, as in the fact that your ex is a lying cheating bitch, **** that. And her telling YOU to not get your hopes up, WTF?! Seriously, you have to understand that she doesn't decide anything anymore. She did all that to you and she expects you to still hope and wait for her to return ? Dude the best thing for you, if she ever decides to text you or call you again, is just basically tell her to **** off(I'm dead serious). You have to understand, she is not better than you. Looks, money and everything is irrelevant, judge a person by her character. And her character traits are lying and cheating. Well that's a shocker.

 

Have you ever had a close friend or a relative die? I'm not just asking you this, i've experienced this a lot. And it taught me several things. First, enjoy everyday. Second, life goes on. This may sound unimportant or overused , but after you see your friends and people younger than you die, you realise how stupid you've been yourself. I drank, cried and moped after several relationships but after some time you just realise, i'm just wasting time. Crying is not going to make them come back, it's not going to fix a broken relationship.

It's ok to feel sad, you have feelings like all of us but when is it going to be enough? When are you going to start living your life again dude? Ask yourself these questions. I see people on this forum that are having serious coping issues for years. I'm not saying anything bad to them, but you have to realise no matter what, life goes on. They may have issues for the rest of their lives, i'm not cricising them or anything, but are you really willing to let your life pass you for one person? Like on your deathbed, are you going to be happy with how you've spent your life? And you may just forget her after a couple of months or weeks or whatever, but are you going to be content with how you've spent those months or weeks?

Realise this, nobody is better than you, you are what you make of yourself. So go and do what makes you happy. She was not the center of the universe. And while not knowing her at all, in my book she doesn't even deserve any respect or care from you. Cheaters just decide to kiss/bang someone else , like they don't accidentally fall into bed with people and say ''Ah might as well since we're here'' Judge her by how she acted, how she treated you.

You're just stuck on her past, the good ol' times. Dude realise that she had it in her to go and do these stuff. After cheating on someone like you, she should have felt bad and begged you to come back, but she tells you not to keep your hopes up. REALISE HOW ****ED UP THIS IS! Do not go ice skating or whatever, who is she to ask for your time ?

I understand that you don't have closure yet. I've had several relationships that just ended. Just like that. For whatever reason. I know you've made plans for your future together, but re-think them right now, do you want to be with a cheater? Like how many years of wondering is she cheating on me, where is she, why is she late, can you handle? You still say that you've thought the closure would be different, like with a kiss or hug, but why would you want to have an intimate romantic moment with a person you don't trust ? She did wrong by you, why are you still wanting this ? You don't seem like you're fishing for breadcrumbs dude, but the problem is, you still accept the **** she gives you. Seriously, you'll think about that ''don't keep your hopes up'' comment for some time in the future, and you'll wish you've came up with a comeback. Something that she will realise she's done wrong by you, she can't take it back. Everyone is affected by rejection, no matter what they say. Don't give her this power over you, don't lose your self-respect mate. There are better girls than her out there, believe me. I know this because, anyone who you can trust, is better. You may have a supermodel gf, a freak in bed, but if you don't have trust for her, it will never, ever work out. Just keep your head up high, have self-respect for yourself and DON'T give into her ****.

I'm sorry abour the super long post, it's because i made the same mistakes when i was younger, i'm telling you what i should have said to my former self. Don't waste your time thinking of people that don't deserve it. There are people that deserve everything you can offer, family, friends or girlfriends. Keep on making yourself and them happy, work your ass of and build your life however you want to build it. It will all end one day man, life is too short.

 

It's fine, I really appreciate the support, your posts helped me and are why I ignored her text the first night but for some reason I gave in to seeing her today and it just made everything worse.

 

My dad died when I was younger so I understand that life is what you make it and I know that I can see through this, but for some reason it's still all I can think about. I agree with you, she isn't trustworthy and it wouldn't work out with us. Her recent relationship with her boyfriend is everything I ever wanted with her though (even though they're about to break up because of college) and I feel like I completely missed out and I feel like a dumbass for sticking around all this time and still ending up with nothing.

 

You're right, I shouldn't try and see her or do anything with her anymore, I need to keep some dignity and respect for myself. She should be the one begging me to hangout.

 

A few hours ago I tweeted something implying that I was having a bad day and she just texted me asking if I'm okay. I don't really know what to do, I could ignore it or just say I'm fine

[Tyler.]

Dude you're not missing out on anything believe me, she has shown you how much she cared for you by kissing another dude, she doensn't love you like you love her. You're not a dumbass for sticking around, you gave it a shot and you treated her well, which is all anybody can do in a relationship.

 

Twitter, facebook or anything, you should start NC. She shouldn't see what you do or write on line, and so shouldn't you. What you may learn will hurt you at this time, but after some time you'll get used to her not being around, and you'll realise how bad she treated you. NC is for your own good believe me, you hurt yourself plenty already and the things she said will keep on hurting you so you don't need any more of those.

 

Her relationship may be all you ever wanted, but think rationally, why would you want that relationship with her ? After all this she's done to you, why on earth would you want to go back to her? This is not love she has for you, believe me. If it was, she wouldn't have done those things, she wouldn't have said don't keep your hopes up. THAT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE, she kissed another dude and she's telling you not to keep your hopes up. Dude she's just playing you, when she finds someone else, she drops you. When she is bored with him, she comes to you while still dating him, and tells you that she's gonna break up with him. All this should make you come to your senses, you're stuck on this girl because you loved her, but realise that you've misjudged it. We all make mistakes but what will make you get further in life is you taking lessons from them.

 

She is not a snowflake, on of a kind, the most special person in the universe. She's just a ''could have been''. She chose not to be that, she chose to lie, cheat and lie some more. That kind of people are not short on stock. Find someone you can trust, seriously what i've learned in my failed relationships is trust is the one trait you must find first. Looks fade.

 

You can text her or not, it's your choice. You may even beg her to get back together, it's your choice. But i know that, you'll never be able to fully trust her again. If i was in your place, i wouldn't text back and i wouldn't meet her again. You should be mad right now, she treated you badly so show some anger and resentment to her. Again, that's what i would do, your call.

 

Sorry to hear about your father. But see, the world didn't stop spinning. You were hurt, but you've felt happy yet again. Life goes on dude, just keep trying to be happy.

[panthersfan44]

Dude you're not missing out on anything believe me, she has shown you how much she cared for you by kissing another dude, she doensn't love you like you love her. You're not a dumbass for sticking around, you gave it a shot and you treated her well, which is all anybody can do in a relationship.

 

Twitter, facebook or anything, you should start NC. She shouldn't see what you do or write on line, and so shouldn't you. What you may learn will hurt you at this time, but after some time you'll get used to her not being around, and you'll realise how bad she treated you. NC is for your own good believe me, you hurt yourself plenty already and the things she said will keep on hurting you so you don't need any more of those.

 

Her relationship may be all you ever wanted, but think rationally, why would you want that relationship with her ? After all this she's done to you, why on earth would you want to go back to her? This is not love she has for you, believe me. If it was, she wouldn't have done those things, she wouldn't have said don't keep your hopes up. THAT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE, she kissed another dude and she's telling you not to keep your hopes up. Dude she's just playing you, when she finds someone else, she drops you. When she is bored with him, she comes to you while still dating him, and tells you that she's gonna break up with him. All this should make you come to your senses, you're stuck on this girl because you loved her, but realise that you've misjudged it. We all make mistakes but what will make you get further in life is you taking lessons from them.

 

She is not a snowflake, on of a kind, the most special person in the universe. She's just a ''could have been''. She chose not to be that, she chose to lie, cheat and lie some more. That kind of people are not short on stock. Find someone you can trust, seriously what i've learned in my failed relationships is trust is the one trait you must find first. Looks fade.

 

You can text her or not, it's your choice. You may even beg her to get back together, it's your choice. But i know that, you'll never be able to fully trust her again. If i was in your place, i wouldn't text back and i wouldn't meet her again. You should be mad right now, she treated you badly so show some anger and resentment to her. Again, that's what i would do, your call.

 

Sorry to hear about your father. But see, the world didn't stop spinning. You were hurt, but you've felt happy yet again. Life goes on dude, just keep trying to be happy.

 

I didn't text her back. Last night I went to a party and a lot of people were saying goodbyes because everyone is leaving for college within the next two weeks. She was saying bye to people and giving hugs and when she came to me I just gave her a half-assed hug. About 30 mins after she left she texted me saying "what a great hug goodbye you gave me" I replied with "Sorry" and she said "it doesn't have to be sad and disappointing, I feel like I try so hard to make you happy". She said her friends call her crazy when she says she talks to me and "I was trying to say goodbye and you had to feel sorry for yourself instead"

 

I said I don't feel sorry for myself and told her that she's been pretty awful to me these past couple of years. She responded this morning with a really long text saying that even though she hasn't been that nice after we broke up doesn't mean she hasn't apologized a lot to me and she feels bad that she ever hurt me. She said she's tired of dealing with this and trying to keep a good relationship with me by going to lunch but I have to be so negative and dwell on the past. She said she cares for me as a friend but doesn't have feelings for me anymore and if I really wanted things to be good between us I would learn to let things go. She said she tries to make it good with us and then I make it all dramatic and shes tired of dealing with it. She said shes done trying and she'll see me at our next break cause she's tired of dealing with my drama.

 

I don't understand how I was being dramatic. All I said was the truth, that she's been pretty bad to me, and I think all of her and my friends can agree on that. And even then I think I have every right to be dramatic after everything because of the way she's made me feel. I know she does care but she just doesn't understand how much she's hurt me and every time it's convenient for her to say "I've moved on" or "I don't have feelings for you anymore", she does, and whenever things are bad with her boyfriend or she misses me, its convenient for her to obviously talk to me as more than a friend and show interest.

 

I don't know what to say to her without seeming all dramatic but I didn't want it to end with her being fully satisfied, because she doesn't deserve that

[Tyler.]

I don't know what to say to her without seeming all dramatic but I didn't want it to end with her being fully satisfied, because she doesn't deserve that

 

That's exactly right, good for you. She's just keeping up appearances. You know what, the moment you get a hotter gf, improve yourself, work out and get your finances straight, all of a sudden they realise that they've made the wrong choice Just to rub it in, do that. Just be the best you can be. Dude i've run into an ex recently, the moment she saw me her jaw dropped. I was with one of my friends (girl) and my ex was so jealous. She hugged me, told me that i've looked good ( been working out) and then texted me that night, asking who the girl was I've acted like i didn't know her intents, played it cool. She insisted that we'd meet up for drinks but just to rub it in, i declined. This was a girl i've loved, i cried after her, missed and everything. But she was just playing me at the time, so she didn't deserve my time now.

That's just it, people act stupid sometimes. They backstab you, lie and cheat. You can't mourn them all. Just improve yourself and make yourself happy, build a life for yourself. Believe me when you do these, you''l find an awesome person that deserves you, and your ex, she will be jealous out of her mind. Don't just do it to make her jealous, do it to be happy but having every ex you had mirin' over you is certainly an entertaining plus:D

[panthersfan44]

That's exactly right, good for you. She's just keeping up appearances. You know what, the moment you get a hotter gf, improve yourself, work out and get your finances straight, all of a sudden they realise that they've made the wrong choice Just to rub it in, do that. Just be the best you can be. Dude i've run into an ex recently, the moment she saw me her jaw dropped. I was with one of my friends (girl) and my ex was so jealous. She hugged me, told me that i've looked good ( been working out) and then texted me that night, asking who the girl was I've acted like i didn't know her intents, played it cool. She insisted that we'd meet up for drinks but just to rub it in, i declined. This was a girl i've loved, i cried after her, missed and everything. But she was just playing me at the time, so she didn't deserve my time now.

That's just it, people act stupid sometimes. They backstab you, lie and cheat. You can't mourn them all. Just improve yourself and make yourself happy, build a life for yourself. Believe me when you do these, you''l find an awesome person that deserves you, and your ex, she will be jealous out of her mind. Don't just do it to make her jealous, do it to be happy but having every ex you had mirin' over you is certainly an entertaining plus:D

 

Haha props for turning down your ex's attempt at hanging out. Hopefully someday I'll be able to do the same. And I agree, bettering yourself is the way to go. In the past year to find something to make myself feel better I've gone to the gym consistently and my ex has given me several compliments since then.

 

Now I just need to make myself let go. I guess I did all I could really do and she didn't want the same thing as me. Hopefully I'll meet someone better soon and I realize that my ex isn't all that great

[Tyler.]

Haha props for turning down your ex's attempt at hanging out. Hopefully someday I'll be able to do the same. And I agree, bettering yourself is the way to go. In the past year to find something to make myself feel better I've gone to the gym consistently and my ex has given me several compliments since then.

 

Now I just need to make myself let go. I guess I did all I could really do and she didn't want the same thing as me. Hopefully I'll meet someone better soon and I realize that my ex isn't all that great

 

You WILL, i know this. You did all you could, you were understanding ( way more than i could have been) and caring. She lost someone that loved her, and those kind of people don't come around too often. But if you improve yourself, loads of nice girls will take notice. From then on you can choose a suitable partner for you because by improving yourself you're improving your chances. I'm not telling you to work out just because you should be a player, you're a nice guy and keep that part of you intact. But by improving yourself you're giving yourself choices, you're giving yourself a stronger odd in finding that special one. Be the best you, so you can find the best gf Don't dwell on the small stuff man, life is tough on everyone, just take it one day at a time.

[Ukeallday]

Panthersfan44 looks like you've got this straight in your mind. Follow through with it. Go with NC and stay strong no matter how hard it may be. Contacting or seeing your ex will only give her the satisfaction she needs. I too went through something like this and trying hard to show her how much i loved her and how much i wanted this to work just pushed her away. My actions made her feel like she was in control and gave her the feeling that i would always be here for her. Be strong my friend. Best of luck!