tivoconga Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I met a girl online, who's easily a 9. We shot a bunch of messages back and forth, a lot of texts, and after almost meeting twice, we finally met. I don't know if it was magical, but it was obscenely comfortable. We went to a festival for a good part of the day (~10 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.), there was no kiss, or even a hug, but she was very comfortable with random contact, like me grabbing her wrist, sharing food, inviting me into her place, etc., while for the last few hours of the festival/date, she kept saying she was having so much fun, and pictures she posted on Facebook insisted that it was the best day ever, and while that doesn't a few hcitly say anything about me, it's certainly not a bad thing. Anyhow, here's how contact has been following the date. Note, that the date was on Saturday, and I was scheduled to leave the state for about a week beginning that Tuesday - so I wouldn't see her for at least a week. 1. A few hours after the date, I get a couple of text messages from her - one following up with what I told her were my evening plans, and another essentially telling me how she was. I responded to one in the late evening (~11 p.m.) 2. The next day (Sunday) get a long response ~mid-day-I responded around 6 pm. 3. Monday I get a text in the morning saying, "oh, hey" - what the hell is that anyhow. I respond telling her about something amusing that evening. 4. Wednesday afternoon I get a response from her, asking about the amusing something. I respond in the evening. 5. Friday: I send her an e-mail (not text on Friday around noon), in which I told her it would be great to see her again, and I mentioned an explicit event I was going to on Monday evening, that was conveniently positioned in a place that is easy for her to access...I told her she should join me. I haven't gotten a respone, but she usually does e-mail at work - don't know how much she does at home. 6. Sunday morning (today) I get a text from her saying, "oh, hi". I haven't responded yet... So what's this girl's deal? I essentially think she's going to vanish, then she sends me these cryptic, "oh hi" texts. Is she playing hard to get? Is she just slow playing me and giving me space while I'm out of town with friends? Does she have very questionable interest? I think I'm a bit confused, largely because people at this stage would either be pretty responsive, or would simply go away never to be seen again. Thoughts would be great - and if you have a view/opinion on my next steps, I'd love to hear them.
Imajerk17 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 (edited) You can use your phone to actually *talk* to the other person you know... My point is that you wouldnt be wondering this if the two of you had an actual phone call. Edited August 6, 2012 by Imajerk17 2
Author tivoconga Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 That's an excellent point - call is best. That said, I was at a music festival that essentially ran from 10 a.m. - ~midnight for several of the days - and she goes to sleep quite early (before midnight). I could have squished in a short phone call, but it would have been a bit tricky, in particular if she didn't answer. I was with a bunch of buddies, and it would seem kind of weird to bail on them for a while to call a girl I only met once. Regardless, at this point, I haven't called - it's always easy to say I should have done things different (i.e. hindsight is always 20-20), but now I am in the situation I described.
AlexanderJames Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 What's stopping you calling her now? Give her a call, ask her how she's been and what's new. Then ask her if she would like you to take her out again some time. Worst that can happen is she says No.
danm Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 You only live once. Don't call her, she fades away. Do call her, she confirms lack of interest. Do call her, she hangs out again. All options give definitive answers. CALL HER!
january2011 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Agree with the others. Call her, say you're attending X event on Monday evening and had sent the details to her email on Friday. Ask her if she can make it. If she says, "no," you can either take that as a sign of lack of interest and stop pursuing her. Or you can try once more to arrange a second date and decide whether to continue to pursue her based on her response to that invitation. I suggest that, next time, if the first date goes well, you arrange the second date before the first date finishes. Spending all week sending a handful of texts back and forth with no call and no definite plans for getting together again and then a lastminute invite is enough to make many daters insecure and doubting interest level. And given that you couldn't spare a few minutes during the week to give her a quick call makes me doubt your interest level too.
Author tivoconga Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 Good thoughts - I may have blown things...I'll call later today, and then I'll have a much better idea. The reason I didn't call was because of the cryptic, no effort, "oh hey" text and then her very slow response...it made me question her interest level, and since I was at Lollapalooza - I figured I would enjoy the weekend and not worry about her. Lame reason for not calling? Probably, but she was already communicating questionable interest (in my opinion - although yes - she did ultimately respond). I'm not going to go crazy over a person I met once - my impression is that if she was really interested, it wouldn't take 2 days for a text response. I use those responses as interest cues to open the door for a call. It sounds like, however, that it would perhaps be better to just do the call - you know - grow the proverbial pair, as opposed to trying to feel things out via text. Superfluous texting was done largely for her, as it seemed to be her preferred medium...but that's just a deflection on my part. Still - what the heck does a randok "oh hey" mean? That's what confused me with this one, especially since it was essentially duplicated a few days later. Is that a cue essentially saying, "call me already dumbass?".
Vintage79 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Don't really know what the, "oh hey text means. It does seem a bit strange that you've gotten that message twice, both times with a notable delay, at sporadic intervals, and that she doesn't seem to be really responding to what you're asking. It could be the, "call me dumbass" thing, simply letting you know that she's still around, so when you get back into town, the door is open, or else she's trying to Friendzone you. Based on what you've said, it's hard to say that she's crazy interested. The alternative is you've found yourself someone who's really playing hard to get. Does she seem to want a lot of attention? This could be a ploy/game to see how much you'll ramp up efforts to get her attention...she may be trying to wrap you around her fingers. Send a text or two, if you want, but definitely call. If she answers, you basically have your answer. Women are great at ignoring calls if they don't want to talk....
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