kyle77 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 So lately I have been thinking to myself that I wish I was the perfect guy for my ex girlfriend. I want to make her life perfect! I want to make her happier than any girl in the world. But I can't.....I have no idea how to do this to begin with and since we broke up its not like I have a bounty of opportunities to make her happy....so why am I so pathetic.....why do I feel this way when I am sure she does not feel this way about me....I view our break-up as a chance for me to improve and become perfect for her, and while I don't know how she views the break-up, I highly doubt she sees it the way I do. So why do you guys think I have this mindset? I am a better person now after the break-up than I was before yet Im not happier....will this ever get better? Am I going about this wrong?
Dblock10 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 you are not happy despite changing because ultimately you changed for her not for yourself.. therefore unless you can prove to her how you have changed and get her to appreciate the changes, you wont be happy. she wont view it this way and is probably already sleeping with another guy to give her happiness. id suggest doing things for you. maybe reach out to her one more time, depending on the situation.
Samilia Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 So lately I have been thinking to myself that I wish I was the perfect guy for my ex girlfriend. I want to make her life perfect! I want to make her happier than any girl in the world. But I can't.....I have no idea how to do this to begin with and since we broke up its not like I have a bounty of opportunities to make her happy....so why am I so pathetic.....why do I feel this way when I am sure she does not feel this way about me....I view our break-up as a chance for me to improve and become perfect for her, and while I don't know how she views the break-up, I highly doubt she sees it the way I do. So why do you guys think I have this mindset? I am a better person now after the break-up than I was before yet Im not happier....will this ever get better? Am I going about this wrong? You're perfect, for someone else. The one that's flawed is your girlfriend, because she can't be happy with you. What you have to understand is that there's nothing wrong with you, unless you're a heavy drinker, a hermit, or something of that nature (you got the idea), there's absolutely no reason for you to change.
Author kyle77 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 dblock10....how do i switch my frame of mind to doing things for me? I am so accustomed to doing things for her that I can't seem to get motivated to do things for my own good.... Samilia.....I think that would be really awesome if I could get myself to think that way....it might finally return my confidence....but Im just not sure how to do it I spend the whole day thinking about how cool and hip she is and how she is always doing fun and exciting things.....shes living the life i want to live.....
Ruby65 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Kyle, it sounds like you're still not fully accepting that this relationship is over. It's been almost a year now, hasn't it? I really think you're focusing on this old relationship as a way to avoid the risks of trying to date someone new. Have you read anything about co-dependency? It might help you move on and give you some tools on how to start living more for YOURSELF.
Author kyle77 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 were getting close to 10 months or something like that.....:S its brutal.... i wish i could just cut ties with her and let her be....but its like there is always some hope that she will come back and it will be good again....even though I've been thinking lately that it won't be good if we tried again....and that she isn't right for me......i don't get how i can be know deep down that she's not good for me yet still want her.....makes no sense
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