inthought Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 This could and should probably be in he dating section but i would like serious replies from people in long term relationships so here it is. I met this woman(41 I am 35)a few months back. I had just moved in with a buddy of mine as we are both single/separated dads and this way we could afford a nice house and still be close to our exes and our kids. This woman had been dating my friend for about 3 months but it wasnt working out. I kept my distance and respected their privacy and rarely spoke to her until one day when she asked if i wanted a latte she didnt like. From there we started talking about several things and hit it off pretty well. We have so many things in common and even think alike, we even new what the other was thinking numerous times and joked about it. For the first while contact was mostly by email and BBM but it was a great budding friendship. The more we spoke the more i began falling for her. We have gone on long walks with both our kids in tow, met at playground so kids could play. She had me over for dinner one night and things were going great. I didnt want to push anything as I felt it was wrong to date a friends ex. She said that you cant help who you like and fall in love with and that it doesnt matter if its a friends ex or not. Our conversations have been some of the deepest we have ever had, even with our exes. The week before we had dinner together she told me about another guy she had known for 3 years and how he portrayed his feelings for her. We have a very open relationship when it comes to conversations as both our marriages broke down due to lies, deceit and lack of comunication. She said she was very confused and did not know what to do. At dinner she put her face in her hands and said "I dont know what I am going to tell (other guy)" This confused me as we had never really discussed a deeper exclusive relationship. I wanted to get to know her better but was seriously falling for her rather quickly. The next week she went on holidays to visit her family. She told me she went there to see A) If she wanted to move back closer to her family. B) To sort out her feelings. C)Visit with family. I decided to go no contact to let her sort things out but she contacted me every day. We talked and flirted, sent each other pics of our days, etc... She works evenings, I work days, we have kids opposite weekends and both have very busy lives. I have asked her out a few times and our schedules just dont line up for it to happen. I am happy just having her in my life as a friend but want to see if there is potential for more. I dont want to push and sound desperate and would like recommendations on what to do next? She keeps giving me mixed signals and I am not sure how to proceed! No contact? ball in her court? or just straight up tell her my feelings?(like her a lot, want to get to know her better, can see something more but frustrated by her mixed signals). We are both people who dont like to "date" multiple people at the same time. We agree that someone always gets hurt by it and its not fair to kids, our selves or the ones it doesnt work out with. Lots of questions, I know! Thanks in advance for any replies!
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