Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I've had a hell of a relationship and brake up in the last 6 years of my life and am an extremely loyal and committed guy so It's hard for me to hear people talking out of their asses. Recently I keep hearing people around me (mostly women in relationships) mention how "people dont get married as much but stick it out in relationships more than ever before". Really? Sounds like bulls**t to me. I know very few people who "stick it out" in relationships nowadays. In fact, i see people break up over the stupidest issues. This angered me because i mostly hear this from people who have been in long relationships that are pretty crappy themselves. Also, if the statistic is true, it doesn't necessarily mean that people who "stick it out" are happy. I know MANY who cheat on their partner while they are "sticking it out". I haven't had such luck. Women who stick it out seem to be hard to find. Plus, is being in a relationship all about tolerating the other person long enough? This whole thing is nonsense.
weallfalldown Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 yea your right.....sticking it out seems to be history.........i blame too much communication...ie, facebook etc etc.......old fashioned values have gone out of the window, and over the friggin hills 3
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 yea your right.....sticking it out seems to be history.........i blame too much communication...ie, facebook etc etc.......old fashioned values have gone out of the window, and over the friggin hills Everyone has the illusion that there are so many great options out there. There really are not. You find good people and you hold on to them. Which also means you have to throw out the crap. I'm not in my 30's yet but I will be there soon and am expecting to see many of my friend divorce. I can see it already. I don't get how "sticking it out" is on the rise. Especially in the big cities. Dating is a complete clusterf**k. 1
2muchlove Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 People don't know that happiness doesn't come from anybody but themselves. It's something I'm tired of hearing because I still don't know how to achieve such things but it's true. Make sure your grass is greener than any others and you'll be fine. 2
Floored Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Call it the Disney paradox. Too many women (from a man's POV) thinking that there's a "one" for them and they need to keep searching until they find that man who makes them swoon day after day for the rest of their life. Nevermind the fact that true love takes sacrifice and loyalty and work, not just passively soaking in the sunshine until a cloudy day entices them to move on to greener pastures. Rinse and repeat until they either wise up and settle down, or become to old to try anymore. Maybe I'm just a bitter GIGS widower, but I know things would have worked out in my arena had the other half actually put some effort into it after the initial firestorm of passion died down. I naively thought I alone could keep it together long enough for her to realize that she needs to emotionally chip in. Maybe some people just like to chase the passion and never want anything more than that. If anything, people are only seen as 'sticking it out' in relationships because they hate the relationship and are passively waiting for it to get better, instead of actually putting in some grunt-work to make it better. Welcome to the generation that just quit trying. 3
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 its the over saturation of inaccurate ideas that people circulate nowadays. Especially in crappy movies and tv. The funny part is I had more true love from women when i was an ********* than any other time in my life. Whenever I was incredibly giving and loving it just ended up in splitsville. Way to "stick it out" ladies. 1
weallfalldown Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Call it the Disney paradox. Too many women (from a man's POV) thinking that there's a "one" for them and they need to keep searching until they find that man who makes them swoon day after day for the rest of their life. Nevermind the fact that true love takes sacrifice and loyalty and work, not just passively soaking in the sunshine until a cloudy day entices them to move on to greener pastures. Rinse and repeat until they either wise up and settle down, or become to old to try anymore. Maybe I'm just a bitter GIGS widower, but I know things would have worked out in my arena had the other half actually put some effort into it after the initial firestorm of passion died down. I naively thought I alone could keep it together long enough for her to realize that she needs to emotionally chip in. Maybe some people just like to chase the passion and never want anything more than that. If anything, people are only seen as 'sticking it out' in relationships because they hate the relationship and are passively waiting for it to get better, instead of actually putting in some grunt-work to make it better. Welcome to the generation that just quit trying. Damn right my friend!!!!
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 Call it the Disney paradox. Too many women (from a man's POV) thinking that there's a "one" for them and they need to keep searching until they find that man who makes them swoon day after day for the rest of their life. Nevermind the fact that true love takes sacrifice and loyalty and work, not just passively soaking in the sunshine until a cloudy day entices them to move on to greener pastures. Rinse and repeat until they either wise up and settle down, or become to old to try anymore. Maybe I'm just a bitter GIGS widower, but I know things would have worked out in my arena had the other half actually put some effort into it after the initial firestorm of passion died down. I naively thought I alone could keep it together long enough for her to realize that she needs to emotionally chip in. Maybe some people just like to chase the passion and never want anything more than that. If anything, people are only seen as 'sticking it out' in relationships because they hate the relationship and are passively waiting for it to get better, instead of actually putting in some grunt-work to make it better. Welcome to the generation that just quit trying. Couldn't have said it better myself. This is exactly what happens. Then you get the "there's no good men out there" tired ass line. There are no good men, because you completed f**ked them over with your colossal stupidity. The real line is "the are barely any good WOMEN out there" and that's the truth of it. 1
Floored Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Couldn't have said it better myself. This is exactly what happens. Then you get the "there's no good men out there" tired ass line. There are no good men, because you completed f**ked them over with your colossal stupidity. The real line is "the are barely any good WOMEN out there" and that's the truth of it. It's funny, two of my closest friends were of the same persuasion that I was once upon a time, that a man and woman with enough in common can work through anything, that true love comes from sacrifice and understanding, that fights can be beneficial if resolved like adults, etc. One got burned bad in high school, he has since made it his duty to "**** women before they **** me", and while he could write an entire encyclopedia with all the sexual conquests he's had since declaring that, he's no happier for it. The other one, same story, though this one from college. Got a good girlfriend, she cheated on him, so he decided it was normal to cheat on current girlfriends with the next girlfriend. I think the cycle went through 8 times before I lost contact with him. Maybe these guys weren't stable at their core, but they definitely had high hopes for their futures with women, and all it took was that one horrible experience to blacken their hearts. Well, to me they were blackened, I suppose some would argue that they've got it figured out.
Floored Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 And lol, it's become an old-fashioned He-Man Woman Haters Club up in here.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 It's funny, two of my closest friends were of the same persuasion that I was once upon a time, that a man and woman with enough in common can work through anything, that true love comes from sacrifice and understanding, that fights can be beneficial if resolved like adults, etc. One got burned bad in high school, he has since made it his duty to "**** women before they **** me", and while he could write an entire encyclopedia with all the sexual conquests he's had since declaring that, he's no happier for it. The other one, same story, though this one from college. Got a good girlfriend, she cheated on him, so he decided it was normal to cheat on current girlfriends with the next girlfriend. I think the cycle went through 8 times before I lost contact with him. Maybe these guys weren't stable at their core, but they definitely had high hopes for their futures with women, and all it took was that one horrible experience to blacken their hearts. Well, to me they were blackened, I suppose some would argue that they've got it figured out. I really don't care for conquests. I just like good people in my life. I never took out my past relationship failures on the next girl. The problem is I there are no longer any quality women appearing before me. Most just want a sexual relationship or some super clingy mental dependency. I'm sure some of you would say "just do the whole sexual thing" but that becomes a waste of time in itself. You're better off alone nowadays.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 And lol, it's become an old-fashioned He-Man Woman Haters Club up in here. Don't get me wrong, I love women. Too much. I have plenty of genuinely good women in my life, i just don't want to be with any of them. They all have some form of issue that prevents them from being good in a relationship. And the rest just want sex. I know more than I want to know
2muchlove Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 It's funny, two of my closest friends were of the same persuasion that I was once upon a time, that a man and woman with enough in common can work through anything, that true love comes from sacrifice and understanding, that fights can be beneficial if resolved like adults, etc. One got burned bad in high school, he has since made it his duty to "**** women before they **** me", and while he could write an entire encyclopedia with all the sexual conquests he's had since declaring that, he's no happier for it. The other one, same story, though this one from college. Got a good girlfriend, she cheated on him, so he decided it was normal to cheat on current girlfriends with the next girlfriend. I think the cycle went through 8 times before I lost contact with him. Maybe these guys weren't stable at their core, but they definitely had high hopes for their futures with women, and all it took was that one horrible experience to blacken their hearts. Well, to me they were blackened, I suppose some would argue that they've got it figured out. If I worked half as hard on myself as I did my relationships I would be fulfilled out the a** for 10 lifetimes. But I've only been in two serious relationships. After my first breakup I became a serious manwhore and slept with anything that had a pulse. Felt right at the time until I realized how lonely that actually is. But it was the final piece of the coping puzzle at the time, 8 mo. post BU. I returned to my hometown where my then ex invited me to party shortly after her rebound relationship failed. She was shocked to see I was in the best shape of my life. 35 pounds heavier than my former emaciated self the 6 months prior when she saw me. Solid tan, got all the women I could ask for. She ended up making out with me that night. I walked away and left shortly after. Never to see her again. Gratification. I think I'm off topic now but it just goes to show how things really do come full circle whatever the case. I do wish there were more people willing to work through the toughest of obstacles. And not find someone else to make them "happy" during the process.
Dblock10 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 i think your all missing the point, and i think that the point is, relationships are over rated. no one wants to settle down and if they do they don't want to stick it out. why do they need to? with face book and modern day travel you can explore as far and as wide as you like, meet thousands of new people. it seems as though one person in peoples lives doesn't matter anymore. hence why i dont look for relationships now, just flings or dating. when it ends, move on to the next one. i used to think that once you met someone and you both love each other that thats all that matters, well looks like from my experience and from what i witness all the time, this isnt the case anymore. 2
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 i think your all missing the point, and i think that the point is, relationships are over rated. no one wants to settle down and if they do they don't want to stick it out. why do they need to? with face book and modern day travel you can explore as far and as wide as you like, meet thousands of new people. it seems as though one person in peoples lives doesn't matter anymore. hence why i dont look for relationships now, just flings or dating. when it ends, move on to the next one. i used to think that once you met someone and you both love each other that thats all that matters, well looks like from my experience and from what i witness all the time, this isnt the case anymore. True. It's a little sad at first but after a while doesn't really seem that bad.
2muchlove Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 i think your all missing the point, and i think that the point is, relationships are over rated. no one wants to settle down and if they do they don't want to stick it out. why do they need to? with face book and modern day travel you can explore as far and as wide as you like, meet thousands of new people. it seems as though one person in peoples lives doesn't matter anymore. hence why i dont look for relationships now, just flings or dating. when it ends, move on to the next one. i used to think that once you met someone and you both love each other that thats all that matters, well looks like from my experience and from what i witness all the time, this isnt the case anymore. That's merely a belief. It's nowhere near impossible to have a lasting meaningful relationship. Like anything it takes a certain kind of aptitude and a bit of talent to be able to maintain such a relationship. But I know it's possible.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 That's merely a belief. It's nowhere near impossible to have a lasting meaningful relationship. Like anything it takes a certain kind of aptitude and a bit of talent to be able to maintain such a relationship. But I know it's possible. Just seems like allot of people aren't willing to put in the effort to try.
steveblack Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 A lot of hurt souls in this thread. I think times are changing gentlemen. Not all women want a traditional relationship anymore. I do believe that all of us will be TOTALLY fine. For all my friends in long term relationships, I wouldn't want to be any of them! They are all miserable and seem to be just along for the ride. The one relationship I do know that is 'strong' they would always tell me how they wanted to be just like me and my ex's relationship. ha! I think people between the ages of 21-32 are not only in the toughest part of their individual lives, but also might be the hardest to maintain a relationship, just because there are so many ???????? about the everything. (job, parents getting old, death, career, money, marriage, kids, etc. etc.)
iris219 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I’m loyal to a fault and have a hard time admitting defeat. That combination means I’ve stuck it out until it almost killed me, numerous times. I don’t recommend it to anyone. When I've put a lot of effort into a relationship, ending it seems like such a waste, so I usually stay until someone might get killed. 3
Dblock10 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 That's merely a belief. It's nowhere near impossible to have a lasting meaningful relationship. Like anything it takes a certain kind of aptitude and a bit of talent to be able to maintain such a relationship. But I know it's possible. of course its possible i didn't rule out the possibility, but the probability these days is very slim. basically dont hold out hope because i truly dont think it happens anymore
veggirl Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I see the opposite way more often. I see people entering Rs with people they aren't compatible with just to avoid being alone. I see people staying in Rs with people who cheat on them and treat them badly. I see people staying in Rs with people that they constantly fight and butt heads with. I think people are too scared to be alone, actually. I think they settle and stay in bad Rs waaay longer than they should.
KatZee Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I’m loyal to a fault and have a hard time admitting defeat. That combination means I’ve stuck it out until it almost killed me, numerous times. I don’t recommend it to anyone. When I've put a lot of effort into a relationship, ending it seems like such a waste, so I usually stay until someone might get killed. Likewise. I've stayed with people when I absolutely shouldn't have. I've stayed and stuck it out when it was clear the other person just wasn't as into it and I was the only one who was wanting to try. I stayed and excused certain behaviors because I know people make mistakes. This is MY mistake I guess. I still have the old fashioned mentality where a couple can make it work if they both try, but in my experience, no one really wants to try. Things get "hard" and the guy runs. And honestly, my last guy ran away because he thought he could find better out there. It's not like we had kids, or mortgage, or other life stress. He just thought that having arguments ONCE every three months was the end of the world and that he'd find someone out there who didn't have "drama." Please. He threw out something that we had for three years without even putting ONE OUNCE of effort into it. This is most people these days. I guess us old fashioned folk are sh*t out of luck.
muzik_lvr Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 (edited) Lots of good thoughts in this thread. I am old-fashioned to the core! lol. Just a 27 year old guy that was raised with good morals and values, and desires to have a long lasting/loving relationship with a woman who desires the same. Is that too much to ask?! haha. I am trying to fight becoming a pessimist/cynic when it comes to relationships in our current day, but it's getting tough not to! Edited August 6, 2012 by muzik_lvr
2muchlove Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Lots of good thoughts in this thread. I am old-fashioned to the core! lol. Just a 27 year old guy that was raised with good morals and values, and desires to have a long lasting/loving relationship with a woman who desires the same. Is that too much to ask?! haha. I am trying to fight becoming a pessimist/cynic when it comes to relationships in our current day, but it's getting tough not to! I'm the same way, brother. 25 years old and I just want a lasting, loving relationship. I'm hoping I won't turn sour towards it either but I think as time passes and we begin to truly accept our BU's we will begin to embrace the possibility of true lasting love. And we will find it because it's what we believe in. God only exists if you believe in him (or her). And the same thing goes for love. And it's what I live for.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 Its not being cynical. It's being realistic. The truth is many just don't want to try. It's easier to run.
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