Starting over again, need MM to make a decision once and for all

August 5, 2012

You said:

I felt like my choices were to get married sohe’d be obligated to help me pay for this huge project he’d insisted oncreating or break up with someone who had been working on my house with hisfriends and relatives for 6 months and loose the house and declarebankruptcy. So we got married

Yes I'm sure I over simplified in saying that you got married to get your house renovated but you are missing the point which is that you did not marry for honorable reasons. You don't love the men you have been with, you hook up with them because you are needy and scared to be alone. You didn't love your husband, you used him. Did you ever tell him you were marrying him because you couldn't see another way to complete the expensive renovations on your house?

I don't know if you are bipolar or whatever, but you definitely do have some major issues that need addressing. You are in denial about your MM and his marriage. He treats you like crap. Do you think that when his wife goes to him with a need he shut her down the same way he does you?

August 5, 2012

*sigh you are NOT listening to anything anyone has said. I could go over your last two posts (btw YOU are responsible for you) it's scary how you turn over control of your life to men. (when your last H decided to remodel your house and you said it went further than YOU wanted, why didn't YOU speak up? All you would have had to say is um, this isn't what I was anticipating and I'm not going to be responsible for all of this)

However you keep repeating you KNOW he loves you. But then pretty MUCH everything that follows "should" be showing you he does NOT love you. He doesn't want you to care for him, he doesn't want to be responsible for you, heck he doesn't even want to be the shoulder you cry on. So why do YOU "think" he loves you? He sees on average of once a week, so he calls every day. You said he's not there when things are tough and doesn't want to be. So what in your mind is telling you there's love there?

Because if you say that when you're together everything just all melts away and there's no problems etc...that's not real lving that's fantasy. You're an occassional escape for him from what YOU are telling us, not anything I'm reading into. So again, what in the heck makes you so insistent that he loves you? Because I don't see it, I really, really don't.

You asked what the motivation is for him? NONE! That's not what you want to hear, I get that but it's the truth. He knows how much he'd be taking on to join your life, that's why he's staying put.

I told my last H that this isn't what I wanted but he kept saying that things had to be that way or it was better and not going to cost much more. I'd come home from work and find another project started before the last one was done. His parents seemed to think he was doing the right thing and by that time, I didn't have much choice but to let him keep going and just try to get him to finish. It's not like we were doing cosmetic repairs and I could just leave well enough alone and tell him to just stop and get out. My house was up on jacks with a huge crater under and around it and a garage half built and a ton of stuff paid for and not installed. I couldn't finish it myself, had no money to hire someone else to finish it, couldn't sell the house that way and would have had the mortgage company reposess it if they found out how far it went.

August 5, 2012

Wow....enough...really enough now. I see so many posters trying to help, WWI, Alex35, Athena...very insightful post indeed.

Again, as mentioned before, everyone choose to live the way they want to live, and get where they want to be right now. Changing people is the most impossible project/work in this world, it almost can not be done. I guess jolene2012 is the way it is right now, her mind/the logic of her thinking is not changable.

August 5, 2012

Big difference between a Counselor and a Psychiatrist!!! You need a medical professional, not a 'counselor' who can chat to you about things. You need a definitive medical rule-out or diagnosis. A counselor is NOT qualified to do this, you do realize this? It is out of their job scope! It's like telling me your great-aunt Sally said you're not bipolar, you're just stressed, etc etc.... go to a shrink!

Sigh... trust me. I have a close relative who knows much of this who is a psychiatrist. I also have a different relative who is bi-polar. I know I am not bi-polar. I'm also not crazy.

I know I've not had successful relationships with men and part of that stems from the fact that I didn't have parents who I could trust to take care of me and being responsible for taking care of other people and knowing that if I fail it's not just my life that's ruined but everyone else who's depending on me scares me so I look for a man to be my lover and my parent and my best friend and my savior and it seems that no matter how much I'm willing to give a guy or how hard I'm willing to work for him, men don't seem to want to take care of me and be everything to me and take responsiblility for my happiness.

August 5, 2012

I told my last H that this isn't what I wanted but he kept saying that things had to be that way or it was better and not going to cost much more. I'd come home from work and find another project started before the last one was done. His parents seemed to think he was doing the right thing and by that time, I didn't have much choice but to let him keep going and just try to get him to finish. It's not like we were doing cosmetic repairs and I could just leave well enough alone and tell him to just stop and get out. My house was up on jacks with a huge crater under and around it and a garage half built and a ton of stuff paid for and not installed. I couldn't finish it myself, had no money to hire someone else to finish it, couldn't sell the house that way and would have had the mortgage company reposess it if they found out how far it went.

But that's just it. You don't wait until things have already spiraled out of control you stop them before that point.

I doubt you woke up one day to the house on jacks, 1/2 a garage and all of these other things. At the FIRST point it was going beyond what you wanted, YOU needed to step up and say this isn't what you wanted and you aren't going to take responsiblity for it finanacially. You need to take responsibility for your choices.

But you didn't answer, what makes you think this mm loves you? What does he DO to show you love? As you should know, words don't necessarily mean anything, look at what you did with two guys, I highly doubt you told either of them you didn't love them but they were the best options at the time. What makes you think he loves you? From what you are telling us, it sounds like he barely tolerates you and in small doses, that ain't love.

August 5, 2012

You said:

Yes I'm sure I over simplified in saying that you got married to get your house renovated but you are missing the point which is that you did not marry for honorable reasons. You don't love the men you have been with, you hook up with them because you are needy and scared to be alone. You didn't love your husband, you used him. Did you ever tell him you were marrying him because you couldn't see another way to complete the expensive renovations on your house?

I don't know if you are bipolar or whatever, but you definitely do have some major issues that need addressing. You are in denial about your MM and his marriage. He treats you like crap. Do you think that when his wife goes to him with a need he shut her down the same way he does you?

I didn't set out to use him. I wouldn't have allowed him to start on the project if I didn't want to move in with him and want things to work. I was trying to do what people told me I should. Don't look for a man who you love with all your heart and soul and would die for because passion just fades with time. Find someone you can be friends with and love will come. Find someone who loves you and wants to do things for you and love him because you're grateful to him. I made a commitment to him and started down that road. During the course of the project, I realized that he wasn't who I thought he was, but that doesn't change the fact that I made a commitment to him and I needed to keep going. I couldn't change the fact that I loved MM, but I made a commitment to my husband to be a good wife and give him everything I could and be grateful to him for being a good parent to my kids and keeping me safe. But then he wasn't a good parent - not that he abused them, but he wasn't the father that they needed - and he didn't keep me financially safe, he kept promising me he had a solution to a problem, then creating much bigger problems then expecting me to figure out how to solve them. And between not getting anything i needed out of the relationship and not having passion, I finally got to the breaking point where I couldn't keep doing it anymore.

August 5, 2012

Assuming you are in your 30s or 40s, and you have experienced so many relationships, you SHOULD HAVE known the golden rule - men chase the women they can not get, or put this way, you love too much/give too much to men, they will treat you like T#$%. That rule never changes.

People having co-dependency tend to over-charge or take too much responsibilities that not suppose to take, that always turns relationship to be unhealthy and be doomed.

Sigh... trust me. I have a close relative who knows much of this who is a psychiatrist. I also have a different relative who is bi-polar. I know I am not bi-polar. I'm also not crazy.

I know I've not had successful relationships with men and part of that stems from the fact that I didn't have parents who I could trust to take care of me and being responsible for taking care of other people and knowing that if I fail it's not just my life that's ruined but everyone else who's depending on me scares me so I look for a man to be my lover and my parent and my best friend and my savior and it seems that no matter how much I'm willing to give a guy or how hard I'm willing to work for him, men don't seem to want to take care of me and be everything to me and take responsiblility for my happiness.

August 5, 2012

You misunderstood my post. I was saying those replies being very valuable, as least from my POV, but Jolene seems not digesting well from those replies yet.

No one is trying to change her, posters are trying to help her. Maybe she will find some value here, maybe she won't, but unless I misunderstand you are telling people that their posts have no value to jolene and they should back off?

Perhaps that is the case with you, but let Jolene make her own mind.

August 6, 2012

sorry for the paragrahs, this didn't post well copied from word.

I can't just walk away knowing he loves me and I love him and it's money and duty keeping us apart, I should be able to get past those things. It needs to either happen or end.

If I didn't believe he loved me, I'd be gone. I know he loves me, but I can also see how it's hard for him to give up hundreds of thousands of dollars and risk loosing the respect of his children. Knowing what I do about his older son, I think he'd understand, but I don't know about the younger one (well mid-20's not that young).

He may love you - but not "enough" to change his life to be with you.

Take your power back and YOU decide what happens with YOUR life! YOU end it so that you can start living and look forward to an available manto make you his TOP priority!

Sop leaving all your power to him - get some balance in your life by taking charge of decisions that change things for you.

August 6, 2012

Sigh... trust me. I have a close relative who knows much of this who is a psychiatrist. I also have a different relative who is bi-polar. I know I am not bi-polar. I'm also not crazy.

I know I've not had successful relationships with men and part of that stems from the fact that I didn't have parents who I could trust to take care of me and being responsible for taking care of other people and knowing that if I fail it's not just my life that's ruined but everyone else who's depending on me scares me so I look for a man to be my lover and my parent and my best friend and my savior and it seems that no matter how much I'm willing to give a guy or how hard I'm willing to work for him, men don't seem to want to take care of me and be everything to me and take responsiblility for my happiness.

Wow, if you are indeed serious, then therein lies the problem. Don't you see a man CANNOT be everything and take responsibility for YOUR happiness?

It's a recipe for disaster. I'm happily married, but "I" create my happiness, my husband just enhances that. Good heavens NO man is going to want to be responsible for all that Jolene, they just aren't. It's too much to place on someone to be ALL THAT for someone else. YOU take responsibility for your life and happiness. YOU create that within YOU. It's not extraneous it has to come from within.

If you are seriously looking for someone else to make you happy and complete you, you'll never be happy. You can't look outside for what has to come from the inside. It just won't happen.

August 6, 2012

But that's just it. You don't wait until things have already spiraled out of control you stop them before that point.

I doubt you woke up one day to the house on jacks, 1/2 a garage and all of these other things. At the FIRST point it was going beyond what you wanted, YOU needed to step up and say this isn't what you wanted and you aren't going to take responsiblity for it finanacially. You need to take responsibility for your choices.

But you didn't answer, what makes you think this mm loves you? What does he DO to show you love? As you should know, words don't necessarily mean anything, look at what you did with two guys, I highly doubt you told either of them you didn't love them but they were the best options at the time. What makes you think he loves you? From what you are telling us, it sounds like he barely tolerates you and in small doses, that ain't love.

I really don't want to argue with you about this and I'm not going into minute detail about the situation, but no, I didn't understand the scope of the changes he was making to the plan and the difference in cost that would result until after it was too late to do anything but keep moving forward. He would say, I'm going to change this because it will save money or be much better and not add any significant cost or because not changing it is going to cause a maintenance issue later, but he wouldn't tell me (and claims he didn't realize that I didn't know) that agreeing to that would cause other things to change and cost much more in the end. Also, it was a really old house and we ran into problems that he didn't anticipate. I think an experienced professional contractor specializing in old houses would have thought about those things in advance, but not everyone would realize for example that you could hit a spring under a house and suddenly flood the basement and require an additonal $7k in labor for someone with bigger equipment to stop the flow before the entire foundation collapsed and the house fell in. That's just one example. I'm not going to go through the whole list, but it's not as simple as you're trying to make it.

August 6, 2012

[/b]

Wow, if you are indeed serious, then therein lies the problem. Don't you see a man CANNOT be everything and take responsibility for YOUR happiness?

It's a recipe for disaster. I'm happily married, but "I" create my happiness, my husband just enhances that. Good heavens NO man is going to want to be responsible for all that Jolene, they just aren't. It's too much to place on someone to be ALL THAT for someone else. YOU take responsibility for your life and happiness. YOU create that within YOU. It's not extraneous it has to come from within.

If you are seriously looking for someone else to make you happy and complete you, you'll never be happy. You can't look outside for what has to come from the inside. It just won't happen.

I agree! If she's offering her broken self to the world - she's very likely going to attract a broken man = hence what she's attracted in her past.

August 6, 2012

Assuming you are in your 30s or 40s, and you have experienced so many relationships, you SHOULD HAVE known the golden rule - men chase the women they can not get, or put this way, you love too much/give too much to men, they will treat you like T#$%. That rule never changes.

People having co-dependency tend to over-charge or take too much responsibilities that not suppose to take, that always turns relationship to be unhealthy and be doomed.

I've tried to be the one who is loved instead of the one who loves, but it's just difficult and seems pointless and I end up resenting them and being annoyed by them. I don't want to have to settle for being with someone who loves me more than I love them just so they'll do stuff for me. I want to be with someone I feel passionate about, who I love and crave and admire and who makes me feel happy and safe and at peace when I'm with him.

August 6, 2012

I've tried to be the one who is loved instead of the one who loves, but it's just difficult and seems pointless and I end up resenting them and being annoyed by them. I don't want to have to settle for being with someone who loves me more than I love them just so they'll do stuff for me. I want to be with someone I feel passionate about, who I love and crave and admire and who makes me feel happy and safe and at peace when I'm with him.

YOUR happiness shouldn't be dependent upon another person. Seek counseling to help yourself get healthy in your perspective of yourself.

August 6, 2012

Sigh... trust me. I have a close relative who knows much of this who is a psychiatrist. I also have a different relative who is bi-polar. I know I am not bi-polar. I'm also not crazy.

Okay, just to point out that having family with bi-polar and depression, and you suffering from depression as well, you should be on the alert for possibly being bi-polar.

Here's the thing; having a close relative who is a psychiatrist does not mean that relative would diagnose you to your face, even if they DID figure you out as being bipolar or something else! You are NOT their patient! You are a FAMILY member. And you engaging in a discussion with this person does not equate with being in a doctors office, being interviewed thoroughly, with your telling them your signs and symptoms!

But anyhow, you are pretty sure about your being normal, despite my telling you that I have NEVER, EVER heard of anyone with your amount of problems and issues (stemming largely from your choices and thinking, in my opinion). That's all I'm going to say about this matter. It's up to you whether you want to make a proper office visit and rule this in or out in a professional setting, and not your relative's kitchen in an informal, chatty kind of way. As if your relative is going to make themselves unpopular and diagnose each and every family member... I think not!

men don't seem to want to take care of me and be everything to me and take responsiblility for my happiness.

I think your idea of love differs from your MM's idea of love... seems to me whereas you like & want to be totally engulfed in each other and to each take full responsibility for one another's emotional happiness, MM takes a more mature response of each being a full person in their own right and coming together in love to enjoy each other... in other words, being two WHOLE people, not each being half a person, coming together to be one.

Edited August 6, 2012 by Athena

August 6, 2012

Over the years - have you used any drugs/prescription meds and/or alcohol?

August 6, 2012

He may love you - but not "enough" to change his life to be with you.

Take your power back and YOU decide what happens with YOUR life! YOU end it so that you can start living and look forward to an available manto make you his TOP priority!

Sop leaving all your power to him - get some balance in your life by taking charge of decisions that change things for you.

That's what I'm trying to do. This is it. I'm not going to spend another 17 years waiting around. And I'm not going to surpress my feelings for him and try to have a relationship with another man while I'm still in love with him. We need to resolve this once and for all. It doesn't necessarily need to be today, but certainly within the next couple of years and I need to see some sort of progress in our daily lives within the next few months. For the first time since I've known him, I'm living by myself without daily family obligations or being accountable to anyone else and I have the time to help him with his work or go with him anywhere he's able to go and I'm living in a place that's convenient for him to get to. If this is ever going to work, now is the time.

I think he's closer than he's ever been to actually leaving. His brother who was just a few years older dropped dead of a heart attack not long ago and it was a huge wake-up call. The whole money problem is still an issue, but it's not as much of an issue as it used to be. He's actually said a few times that he's resigned to the fact that she's getting half, it's the whole medical thing and her not being able to work he's still struggling with. He's totally fed up with his job, worse than I've ever seen him and he'll call me up and say "want to run away?" and I'll say, "of course" and he'll say, "God, I wish we could". He'll find a few minutes to see me, then when his work phone starts ringing he'll swear and say he wishes he didn't have to go. We'll be making love and he'll say, "I wish I could hold you like this forever" then he looks at me really earnestly and says "Soon, ok soon."

Sometimes I deliberately try to give him space and he'll come to me all excited and say that he just did X and things are finally close to him being able to go and he'll be really excited for a while, then he starts to get nervous, and him getting nervous makes me nervous so I push him and try to get him to do stuff to reassure me and the more i push the more he backs off until we get into a fight.

I need to break that cycle. I kind of think I need to be strong for him at those times and not take his nervousness as him wavering in his love for me, but just as him being scared about doing something that is going to be scary and very unpleasant. I need to be able to look him in the eyes and say... something. Something to the effect that I'm here for him and I trust him and our love and I know he can do this and it will be ok. I know that my reacting with fear is not helping and making things worse. It's at times like this when I wish I had a friend I could talk to who would be supportive of me about this and reassure me that he has every right to be nervous and he loves me and it's going to be ok. But after what happened the last time, I haven't told anyone about our relationship and I can't until he actually leaves or if it ends then I won't ever talk about it. The last thing I need in addition to my own insecurity is people pressuring me to demand that he leave right now and give him ultimatums and threaten that if he doesn't bring our relationship into the open right now, I'll leave him and find someone else or I'll tell her. Those are all things I've had friends or family pressure me to do and I've done most of them at one time or another during our last go round. Or when I'm worried about things have people tell me that I'm stupid for thinking he'd ever want to be with me and I'm going to hell for trying to steal another woman's husband. I probably am stupid and if I'm going to hell, that's already been decided I can't see how giving up without ever resolving the issue is going to get me into heaven.

The other thing I'm trying to do differently, and I really screwed up last month when I said it's ok to take more time, is that I need to stop trying to make it easy for him. I get scared that I've pushed too far, then I backpedal and say things are ok like they are or I do things like lying for him to his wife and trying to calm her down instead of letting her demands and threats and anger drive him away. I need to find an effective way to acknowledge his fear and be supportive without going to the extremes of letting him off the hook of doing anything or making it about my fear and demanding that he reassure me.

And to the person who asked, yes, I know for sure he told her about me the last time because she was screaming at me in the background when he called me and said that he doesn't trust me because I told her I didn't really love him and not to call him. But then he called me later and said he needed to at least try the counseling and not to call him for a month. At that point, I was stupid to let him try to diffuse the situation. I should have gone over there and reminded him that the letter was a lie and told her that I love him and he loves me and I'm not going anywhere.

August 6, 2012

I can't just walk away knowing he loves me and I love him and it's money and duty keeping us apart, I should be able to get past those things.
.

I am honestly sorry to tell you that you will find at least one or two very active members on this board who are certain that the married man they've been carrying on a secret affair with FOR YEARS is only married because of "money and duty."

But, at least they seem contented to remain in the role they've chosen.

You are miserable in it.

Just break it off and pay attention to your kids. Your kids don't need a mom who is mooning after a man who is married - and, according to you, a huge jerk.

If this guy loves you so much, he'll get a divorce and come begging to you. Or, you might move on and get into a healthy adult relationship with a good man.

August 6, 2012

I wouldn't feel comfortable answering a question such as the above unless I knew why I was asked.

Of course it's up to jolene.

I assume I'm being asked as an implied question is my life out of control because I'm drinking or on drugs. While I was getting a little drunk along with friends several nights/week for a few months after my boyfriend died 24 years ago, I did not end up an alcoholic or anything and I was able to continue to function and hold down a job. I just cried every day which I don't think is terribly uncommon when a love dies. I tried pot with friends a couple of times in college, but I stopped because I don't like feeling out of control and I didn't want to potentially loose a job because of failing a drug test. After I got pregnant, I was responsible for people other than myself and I might have an occasional wine cooler at a party, but I couldn't put myself in a situation where I was impared enough not to be able to drive or take care of the kids. These days, I might have a couple of drinks with friends if i'm not driving, but I don't have any interest in getting drunk. Having a headache the next day is not worth it.

A few years ago my doctor convinced me to try a low dose of a mild antidepressant because I suffer from re-occuring viral infections and digestive problems and she thought they were stress related. I take them when something extremely stressful is going on or when I'm really sick and I need to be able to push through it and keep working, but I don't need them to function on a daily basis and I don't like feeling numb.

August 6, 2012

Okay well good luck to ya! You've already waited on him for 17 years and if you want to spend more years waiting on him the go ahead and have at it. I think you are wasting your time, but it's your life to waste if thats what you want to do.

August 6, 2012

I am honestly sorry to tell you that you will find at least one or two very active members on this board who are certain that the married man they've been carrying on a secret affair with FOR YEARS is only married because of "money and duty."

But, at least they seem contented to remain in the role they've chosen.

You are miserable in it.

Just break it off and pay attention to your kids. Your kids don't need a mom who is mooning after a man who is married - and, according to you, a huge jerk.

If this guy loves you so much, he'll get a divorce and come begging to you. Or, you might move on and get into a healthy adult relationship with a good man.

My child is an adult now and she has her own life. I talk to her daily and spend time every week with her and my grandchild, but my love live does not involve or concern her.

I never said he was a huge jerk. If I felt that way, I wouldn't be with him.

August 6, 2012

I assume I'm being asked as an implied question is my life out of control because I'm drinking or on drugs. While I was getting a little drunk along with friends several nights/week for a few months after my boyfriend died 24 years ago, I did not end up an alcoholic or anything and I was able to continue to function and hold down a job. I just cried every day which I don't think is terribly uncommon when a love dies. I tried pot with friends a couple of times in college, but I stopped because I don't like feeling out of control and I didn't want to potentially loose a job because of failing a drug test. After I got pregnant, I was responsible for people other than myself and I might have an occasional wine cooler at a party, but I couldn't put myself in a situation where I was impared enough not to be able to drive or take care of the kids. These days, I might have a couple of drinks with friends if i'm not driving, but I don't have any interest in getting drunk. Having a headache the next day is not worth it.

A few years ago my doctor convinced me to try a low dose of a mild antidepressant because I suffer from re-occuring viral infections and digestive problems and she thought they were stress related. I take them when something extremely stressful is going on or when I'm really sick and I need to be able to push through it and keep working, but I don't need them to function on a daily basis and I don't like feeling numb.

Ok - so now we know that YOU are creating the drama with mainly poor decisions and actions.

Get help to work on these issues - that help you work on getting a tighter healthier boundary by making different choices for yourself.

From the way you described things - your choices look like the choices that an alcoholic or drug addict would be making - which is completely inadequate.

August 6, 2012

I know ya'll think that you're telling me something I've not heard before and I'm suddenly going to say, gee, staying with him is a mistake, I'm going to forget about him and throw our relationship away and get a new one like it's as easy as buying a new pair of shoes.

If I wanted to hear that I'm stupid and wasting my time and live's just peachy without a man, I could have called my mother.

I was looking for support and feedback from other women who have been in relationships with men who were unhappily married that worked out successfully and constructive suggestions from men or women for how I can change my behavior to get the results I desire. I know I've been all over the board with him from needy and clingy to dormat to bitchy and demanding to pretending I don't care and want to move on and this needs to stop. I need to find a more effective way to communicate with him and demonstrate to him that I can be the confident and self-sufficient partner that he seems to want.

August 6, 2012

I know ya'll think that you're telling me something I've not heard before and I'm suddenly going to say, gee, staying with him is a mistake, I'm going to forget about him and throw our relationship away and get a new one like it's as easy as buying a new pair of shoes.

If I wanted to hear that I'm stupid and wasting my time and live's just peachy without a man, I could have called my mother.

I was looking for support and feedback from other women who have been in relationships with men who were unhappily married that worked out successfully and constructive suggestions from men or women for how I can change my behavior to get the results I desire. I know I've been all over the board with him from needy and clingy to dormat to bitchy and demanding to pretending I don't care and want to move on and this needs to stop. I need to find a more effective way to communicate with him and demonstrate to him that I can be the confident and self-sufficient partner that he seems to want.

You wish for people to just encourage you to keep settling? To keep changing yourself to please him more?

No way!!! He's a cake eater whos not leaving his W no matter what YOU CHANGE!

Agreeing with you isn't going to change your life for the better - please be real about how he's totally using you because YOU ALLOW HIM TO!

Stop ALLOWING it!

August 6, 2012

But how can you demonstrate those things to him if you aren't really those things? Confident and self sufficient are not what your posts display. By the way this is feedback.

well no s***. I'm not confident or self-sufficient when it comes to love, but I think that's the kind of woman he wants and what people say nice guys who take care of women instead of expecting women to take care of them want.

If this doesn't work out and at some point i need to move on, I need to be able to figure out the way I'm supposed to act towards men so that they'll think I'm confident and self sufficient and want to take care of me.

Hope for the best, plan for the worst. I want this to work and I'm going to give this my best and final shot this time, but I'm not sticking my head in the sand and thinking that there's no way it won't work. At some point I may need to move on to another relationship and while I'm in this transition time, I'm working on losing weight, improving my appearance, saving/earning more money and paying down debt, strenghting my relationships with my female friends and taking the time to read, scrapbook, etc. working on the hobbies I want to do instead of doing what someone else wants all the time.

I'm actually pretty confident and self-sufficient when it comes to other parts of my life. I'm well respected in my career and I'm the person friends, family and co-workers seek out to help them solve their problems.

Sign In

Starting over again, need MM to make a decision once and for all

Recommended Posts

alexandria35

jolene2012

Mount

jolene2012

truthbetold

jolene2012

Mount

Mount

2sunny

truthbetold

jolene2012

2sunny

jolene2012

2sunny

Athena

2sunny

jolene2012

Mme. Chaucer

jolene2012

alexandria35

jolene2012

2sunny

jolene2012

2sunny

jolene2012

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...