Sav Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I broke NC and sent her a long text telling her how I felt betrayed and goodbye. I feel like crap. How can someone move on so fast?
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Because if she broke up with you - she doesn't need to move on - she already has.
Author Sav Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 It really hurts to see someone throw away a 2.5 year relationship like nothing
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 That's your viewpoint - she may not see it that way. We spin stories for ourselves in our minds to justify the way we feel, but if you were to throw that accusation at her, i am sure she would deny it. If you demonise the situation - and her - your recovery will take three times as long as it should.....
Author Sav Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 :\ i'll focus on myself then. just try to recover
weallfalldown Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 i'd say in 70% of cases , it's the woman that ends it.....you all semm to find that inner strength to carry it through???? am i right???? Ladies???
2muchlove Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 That's your viewpoint - she may not see it that way. We spin stories for ourselves in our minds to justify the way we feel, but if you were to throw that accusation at her, i am sure she would deny it. If you demonise the situation - and her - your recovery will take three times as long as it should..... Would you mind elaborating on this?
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 We begin with a thought. A memory, an unwanted and undesired image of something that happened during the relationship - it assaults our conscious, unbidden and uninvited, and crashes in suddenly, to interrupt our main train of thought.... and then begins the weave. we prolong that thought. we add other images, other memories, other moments... and we begin to despair, to become distressed, to feel the pain again - and we begin to ask 'why? how come? What happened?' Our original thought has snowballed, and rather like a gob-stopper's tiny aniseed core, it has become enveloped in layers and layers of angst, grief, anger, resentment, sadness, depression, anxiety.... and before we know it, we have filled our head, not with a memory, but an entire scenario, a whole scenario, simply because we absent-mindedly pressed 'play'.... and what we see is fuelled by reproach, self-pity and we develop loathing, hatred and resentment - we paint a negative picture of the other person, and the passion of affection we had for them, has turned about-face and we can't stand the thought of them.... and maybe, really, all they wanted in some cases, was just to try to be happy. And for whatever reason, they weren't happy. Now, for sure, the way they went about breaking up may have been misguided...unwise...unkind...inconsiderate.... but which of us, in the cold grey light of day, is ever 100% blameless....? All we want in life is to be understood, appreciated and loved. We would like someone's trust, respect and companionship. and sometimes, it just doesn't work.... so when that little insignificant, instant spark of a memory threatens to ignite an inferno - we have to watch our thinking, lest we lead ourselves purposely down a path of despondency. And finding your way back to breathing easy, is double the task.....
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