Warrior Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I have some of her stuff in a plastic bag here in my room. Should I throw it in garbage? Will I regret that later on? It will soon be a year since BU, I am in NC haven't heard a word from her ever since BU. And I don't want to get in contact with her, it is not necessary I don't want to ruin a happy person I am now. She is with her new boyfriend anyway so all the love I have for her is slowly going down the sink. Now when I think about it, she treated me like **** when we BU. She was my soulmate and my best friend and lover, I hope she survives when Karma hits her. I don't want to be in her position now.
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Don't talk about Karma - you obviously have no idea whatsoever as to what it means.... and yes, this is my particular, specific and oft-repeated irritation.... would you like to know what Karma actually is?
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 OK. and put your pencil down, the test hasn't begun yet. Karma - very simply - just means 'Action'. it's not consequence, it's not revenge, it's not judgemental, it's not retribution, it's not come-uppance it's not justice. it's very simply, what we do. be it in the form of a thought, the saying of a word or the enaction of a deed - it's a process. the resultant consequence, is known as 'Vipaka'. And it doesn't have to be immediate. Furthermore, for it to have relative and relevant consequence, Karma has to be fully intentional. On purpose. Deliberate. so your being hurt, has to have been a deliberate ploy on her part. she must have taken the actions she took, with every intention of making sure you were on the receiving end of pain. (Emotional or otherwise....) So the fact that you feel hurt, isn't necessarily on her, because that may not have been her intention. but obviously, having strong emotions and going through an experience of that kind, DOES hurt. but your resentment, anger and displeasure now - is your Karma. and it's actually damaging nobody but you. I would venture to suggest that she would be hard-pressed to even guess half of the stuff she's left with you. They say if you put stuff in a box and close it, and don't look at it for six months - if you can't remember what's in there - you don't need it. If she's never asked you for it, chances are it was trivial enough for her to not pursue it, and she's moved on from 'owning' that stuff. But every time you see it, you transport yourself back to the time when it hurt. and that's on you. not her. NOW - pick up your pencil.....
Author Warrior Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 I called out Karma forgeting what it really is. Yes, I understand it now and thank you. I'll tell you why I called karma out. She broke up with me thinking she is missing something out because I was her 1st and only boyfriend she had. She still loved me like I loved her. Her friends started to take her out and telling her she needs a new boyfriend, "that why she would be with me all the time, that she is missing everything". I was a gentleman till the end, while she was telling herself I was no good so she can convince herself to go and you know what... and treated me as such. Now, I wouldn't write this if I am not sure about it, but I am. Because I know her from inside, and I can read her without her saying a word. I don't want revenge or anything similiar, I want her to be happy I don't want any bad stuff on my hands. But she has to deal with her actions, and it will be tough for her when she realises what she left and how she left it. Do you understand this? To the topic, I am not even hurt looking at this stuff I have from her anymore because of how she hurt and treated me. I feel nothing. What do you think, should I throw it away? I would make space in my room and get rid of the stuff I don't need... Where you from?
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Yes, throw it away. If she hasn't asked for it yet, it is unlikely she will remember. If by any chance she ever should contact you to ask about it, you can justifiably plead ignorance and say, "Sorry.... what stuff?" I'm from the UK, and my parentage is mixed - I am half-Italian... Funny you should ask....
KatZee Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I'd say throw that crap out. It should have been tossed 11 months and two weeks ago. No sense trying to contact her A YEAR LATER to be like, "oh hey so I've been hanging on to your stuff hoping you'd come back... but I guess you're not so here you go." Because then it's very clear you've been waiting around for a year. In the trash it goes!
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