Kristinforever Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Ok, so me and him were tg for a year... Everything was amazing when we first started dating then he went to jail and he got out so we started staying together plus he was on house arrest mainly for protecting me. So one night he was asleep and I saw he was texting his exes Nothing bad but just the simple fact he was texting them. I have always believed an ex is an ex for a reason. So I got mad and confronted him and he got a lil upset cause I went through his phone. Well some weeks passed off him taking his phone every where so I began to wonder then I got on his Facebook which he didn't know I had the password and saw were he was remanencing with an ex about a full moon and I looked at earlier messages which I found he lied about some stuff. So one day I told him to delete them if he wanted to remain with me. Well he dis no problem so I got on Facebook and saw him ask for one of there numbers back cuz "psychochick " deleted them and that pissed me off very bad so I snapped and told him I saw it and he was like I knew u was on my stuff ur invading my privacy so he changed his password.... So Yeah I took him back now just recently I broke up with him for acting different and the next day I went to his house to see him talking to all them once again so I'm just going to be completely done.. I mean yes we had amazing times I know he loves me he's just young minded so did I do the right thing or did I over do it??? I love him so much but I can't deal with him texting them even if it's not in a bad or good way just in general.... Thank u for reading this.
KatZee Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Ok, so me and him were tg for a year... Everything was amazing when we first started dating then he went to jail and he got out so we started staying together plus he was on house arrest mainly for protecting me. So one night he was asleep and I saw he was texting his exes Nothing bad but just the simple fact he was texting them. I have always believed an ex is an ex for a reason. So I got mad and confronted him and he got a lil upset cause I went through his phone. Well some weeks passed off him taking his phone every where so I began to wonder then I got on his Facebook which he didn't know I had the password and saw were he was remanencing with an ex about a full moon and I looked at earlier messages which I found he lied about some stuff. So one day I told him to delete them if he wanted to remain with me. Well he dis no problem so I got on Facebook and saw him ask for one of there numbers back cuz "psychochick " deleted them and that pissed me off very bad so I snapped and told him I saw it and he was like I knew u was on my stuff ur invading my privacy so he changed his password.... So Yeah I took him back now just recently I broke up with him for acting different and the next day I went to his house to see him talking to all them once again so I'm just going to be completely done.. I mean yes we had amazing times I know he loves me he's just young minded so did I do the right thing or did I over do it??? I love him so much but I can't deal with him texting them even if it's not in a bad or good way just in general.... Thank u for reading this. Honestly I think the problem here is you. It very well IS possible for exes to talk on a strictly platonic level. I do it with a couple of my exes. There is absolutely nothing there. We dated, we've known each other for years, we're friends now, no emotions in the way. Are you to say we're not allowed to be friends because an insecure girlfriend tells us to stop? This is all that is. You are extremely insecure. You lack confidence, and it seems something must have happened to you to not trust anyone. You can't sit here and say you trust your now ex boyfriend. You didn't, and you don't. You felt it was perfectly acceptable to go through his phone, log into his Facebook--- which by the way... cut the sh*t out for future relationships. Being a girlfriend doesn't mean you become a warden. You need to learn boundaries and respect others personal property, and privacy. You'll be hard pressed to find a guy who's going to accept this behavior... being constantly snooped on and a girl that freaks out if he merely says hi or casually catches up with someone. This is why you became known as "psychogirl." None of that is healthy behavior. You snooped and what did you find? Nothing. They were talking as friends... but still you freaked out. That's you. That's not him. If you would have found something? I'd say OK... now tell him if he wants to stay with you he needs to cut the contact... but there was nothing. You need to gain some confidence in relationships... you could have asked to meet this girl and found out she was actually pretty cool.
Author Kristinforever Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 I understand and I have completely thought about that. I am just so easy to compare current relationships to past ones were I had real reasons not to trust.. idk how to trust...
Ruby65 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I don't date guys who are friends with exes anymore.... because I've been WAAAY burned by this. If you don't like it, walk away. Just because you have problems with other women texting your bf, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. A good guy would be sensitive to your feelings. Seriously, ex-girlfriends and jail? Why do you need this drama in your life? 1
KatZee Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I understand and I have completely thought about that. I am just so easy to compare current relationships to past ones were I had real reasons not to trust.. idk how to trust... Well, you can't bring baggage from one relationship to the next. It's not fair to the new guy... he didn't do anything to be punished for the last schmuck's mistakes. Maybe you should just be single for a little while... you sound jaded and like you're carrying around a lot of issues from the past. So focus on yourself... no reason to jump into relationships when you've not yet worked out the things that have happened with other people. Also, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Imagine you started dating this great guy and then all of a sudden he's confronting you, starting fights, clearly not trusting you when you've done NOTHING, he's placing demands on you... how would you feel? Probably pretty crappy... and you'd think... why the hell am I with someone that can't even see my worth? Who is just so insecure and doesn't trust me when I've done everything to show him I'm with him and care just for him? You'd probably be thinking... I don't need THIS drama. No one's saying you have to trust fully right out of the gate, but you gotta stop with the confrontational attitudes... let a guy prove his commitment and faithfulness to you. Sure there's always a risk he's cheating, or will cheat, or is a liar, I fell for it completely with my ex, but I'll be damned if I take that baggage with me to the next guy... always being on my toes, worried about his lying or cheating was exhausting.
g450 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 You said: "then he went to jail and he got out" OK this should be reason enough to leave this guy. Seriously? As most here will attest from actual life experiences (me included), having contact with exes will poison a relationship. If not now then enventually. I think that most people who will tell you otherwise have probably never actually been in that situation where their SO is still yacking it up with their ex. These people stay in contact for A REASON. And most often it is because one or the other (or both) still has feelings or wants sex from the other. They call them exes for a reason. If they still insist on having exes in their life then something is probably missing in theirs and you are not filing that need for them. Or they could simply be attention whores. If so, those people will never be happy without an audience of orbiters and they will most likely be single their entire life.
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