Wake_Me_Up Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 It has been almost two weeks of NC after my 4 month INTENSE relationship with my ex. Long story short, from 2008 - 2010 I was in a relationship which was very serious but the both of us were immature and could not handle such emotions. I tried my absolute best to make it work with this recent ex but she dumped me and left me completely shattered. As hard as the NC has been for me, I know this is the only way forward and I was not expecting her to break NC and really didn't know if she would remember or acknowledge my birthday. Today I turned 25 and she sent me a message saying that I hope your day is a great one and that she wishes me nothing but a life full of love and happiness. The moment I saw the message I started shaking. My heart raced a million miles an hour, my throat went dry and I couldn't even read the message properly and was almost in denial that it was even her. I have never been in a state like this before and had no idea I would react so intensely. She broke up with me two weeks ago saying she could not give me what I deserve and that I am too beautiful of a person to be brought down by her sh*t. She does have A LOT of baggage and has a lot of 'flaws' in her personality but I tried my all to work with those and make us work but I have accepted her decision and am trying to move on. What has been the experiences of others in relation to what has happened to me today? I did not send her a message back as I want nothing to do with her at all. Makes it complicated that we have to meet for work once a week in divisional meetings and that's where we met and 'fell in love'.
Ruby65 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 She sent you a happy birthday message to be kind -- and worded it expressly so that you wouldn't misinterpret it as her trying to rekindle the relationship: she wishes you a lifetime of love and happiness (read: WITH SOMEONE ELSE.) She's let you down easy with some breakup cliches.... that's done you a disservice as it's left things too murky for you to fully give up hope. "You deserve better than me" is a really cowardly way of saying "you deserve to be with someone who really wants to be with you, because I don't." She was probably trying to spare your feelings.... and probably just trying to be NICE by wishing you a happy birthday.... but really if she wanted to protect your feelings she'd stick to NC. It's unfortunate that you have to meet for work -- just try to stay professional and detached. Good luck -- you're doing GREAT! 2
YorickBrown Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 She sent you a happy birthday message to be kind -- and worded it expressly so that you wouldn't misinterpret it as her trying to rekindle the relationship: she wishes you a lifetime of love and happiness (read: WITH SOMEONE ELSE.) She's let you down easy with some breakup cliches.... that's done you a disservice as it's left things too murky for you to fully give up hope. "You deserve better than me" is a really cowardly way of saying "you deserve to be with someone who really wants to be with you, because I don't." She was probably trying to spare your feelings.... and probably just trying to be NICE by wishing you a happy birthday.... but really if she wanted to protect your feelings she'd stick to NC. It's unfortunate that you have to meet for work -- just try to stay professional and detached. Good luck -- you're doing GREAT! I could not have said it much better....but then, I can only manage to advise someone here to try to "hump his ex in order to get over the hump" I was just kidding of course, (well, mostly). Regardless, Happy Birthday Wake_Me_Up!!! May you have a life full of love and happiness...and yeah...h:bunny:mping <sigh> to be 25 again (heart-broken or not)
Author Wake_Me_Up Posted August 7, 2012 Author Posted August 7, 2012 Thanks so much for the replies. In the first week after she BU with me I was extremely sympathetic to her and thought she genuinely wanted to be with me but because of her life situation she spared me a potential life long hardship with her. She has an incurable disease which won't kill her any time soon she should live a full life but her quality of life has been significantly decreased. That made it very hard for me to believe she just didn't love me. But now after two weeks Im beginning to have a totally different outlook. Now I have accepted that she does not want me and yes I will always wish her health but for the way she treated me during the relationship and the way she BU with me - she can get f*cked. I will not ask her how she has been or how her illness has been playing up when I see her and I won't let myself be consumed by the overwhelming sense of caring I felt for her because she sick.
Canadian731 Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 Same thing happened here with my ex of 4 years, was NC for a month and a bit then she sent me a message on my birthday wishing me a happy birthday and she hopes my school is going well. I have no hard feelings towards this girl (she also has a lot of baggage, about $24,000 worth) but I still didn't reply just because I don't think I'm quite ready and comfortable to be friendly with her at this point. If you don't feel like you should respond then don't, I recommend not replying though.
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