Trouble sleeping since found out ex has new GF

[nevadagirl]

It's only been about a week since the revelation but I have had not been able to sleep since. I overslept for work one day and the rest I just dragged in exhausted. I don't know what's going on in my head or why I feel this weird. Before I knew about this I still thought about him a lot but ultimately did not have any real interest in talking to him and I acknowledged this to myself and even here on LS in a post where I was trying to figure out why I thought about someone so much that I genuinely had no interest in speaking to or reconciling with.

 

I haven't been a hermit. I went to a meetup in the city where he lives even though I was filled with so much anxiety just being in that area and the whole meetup thing in general had me uncomfortable since he steathily slinked into one of my groups recently for no other reason than to be there. I joined a dance class I've been interested in for awhile. An old friend randomly texted me because he was in town and I met up with him and his girlfriend and had a really great night. And today I went to a party with one of my best friends. I've had a very sociable week.

 

And I'm not dying inside. I'm not completely destroyed. I am not at square one. But I am bothered. And worried by my reaction. And afraid...that something is wrong with me because I haven't moved completely on. I want to believe that he hasn't either because why else would he bother me, respond to me even after I asked him to never contact me again, bug my friend on facebook that he has not spoken to or seen in over a year and a half since when I lived with her.

 

It hasn't been a year. Yet. Mid-september will make 1 year that we broke up. I try to justify my feelings by saying well girl he bothered you consistently for the first three months of the breakup and repeatedly stabbed you in the heart so maybe you can knock those 3 months off so it's not so bad...how long it's taking you.

 

Why do I have insomnia now? What is wrong with me?

 

I want to believe his relationship isn't great. I want to believe she can't be so great. So much better than me. But really I don't want to think enough about it to think anything. But my mind hates me right now.

 

A friend said to me it sucks when you're in the middle of the storm but when the clouds break it's like it never even happened. Where is the break in these clouds? Could I at least have a silver lining? I'd settle for a good night's sleep.

[Exit]

If you're that bothered by the news that he is seeing someone new then the only unfortunate conclusion I can reach is that you probably still care for him more than you want to at this point.

 

I know how you feel worrying that it is taking too long, I'm coming up on 9 months and I can't believe I still find time to think about someone and be miserable every day.

 

If your ex was doing all these goofy things like joining the same groups as you and staying in touch with your friends, it probably slowed down your moving on because anyone in that situation would wonder if their ex was doing these things because they were still interested.

 

And of course there's also that little bit of the ol' childish human ego that comes into play during these matters. You said yourself you were pretty certain you never wanted this guy back again, but knowing he found someone else can still get your ego upset thinking about if this new person is "better".

 

I hope you find your relief soon.

[Sweett]

Please dont lose anymore sleep. Go to a gym or take a walk and your mind will feel better and it should help you to sleep. It does for me. I know how you feel it's been a year since my ex left me for the girl I caught him cheating with. They got engaged last month. I still hadn't gotten over him cheating and leaving me and to add an engagement on top of that... I kept beating myself up trying to figure out what I did and what makes her better than me!!! See when he left me he said he needed space and that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship but it's funny how he told me this but had already started something with her.

My ex was selfish and so is yours. I also think they do this because something in them is insecure! I'm way more beautiful than who my ex left me for and I was 100% loyal to him good and bad times but I didn't get that in return. It's not u it's him, so stop losing sleep. I still struggle after a year but the gym and my therapist help me.

[nevadagirl]

If you're that bothered by the news that he is seeing someone new then the only unfortunate conclusion I can reach is that you probably still care for him more than you want to at this point.

 

I know how you feel worrying that it is taking too long, I'm coming up on 9 months and I can't believe I still find time to think about someone and be miserable every day.

 

If your ex was doing all these goofy things like joining the same groups as you and staying in touch with your friends, it probably slowed down your moving on because anyone in that situation would wonder if their ex was doing these things because they were still interested.

 

And of course there's also that little bit of the ol' childish human ego that comes into play during these matters. You said yourself you were pretty certain you never wanted this guy back again, but knowing he found someone else can still get your ego upset thinking about if this new person is "better".

 

I hope you find your relief soon.

 

He didn't keep in touch with my friends. After that long book I wrote the other night that you responded to he sent this tiny little message to my roommate maybe 2 days later. And it ****s with me.

 

Maybe I'm too easily ****ed with.

 

I wonder if he would have just taken 2 seconds to construct a sincere message to me that I wouldn't be this messed up. I won't ever understand why the moment the words "it's over" are muttered one partner becomes evil and only interested in prolonging the suffering of someone that used to matter. And this story is written over and over and over again here on these forums.

 

I won't ever understand that.