tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I apologize in advance for the long post... Ok my ex bf and I broke up not even two weeks ago after 1.5yrs. I always had a feeling that he was messing around with this girl that lives in our building, but of course he denied the accusation like a coward. He was not straight up honest with me when I asked him about her when we were still in a relationship. Here's the story we still live together because he asked me if he could stay until saves up enough money to move out by the end of September. I told him yes, even though he has been very disrespectful to me by not talking to me and ignoring me as if I am not there. If we're in a relationship he’s nice, but since we broke up I am like his worst enemy. So we made the agreement that I will continue to live here after he moves out. The hallway door that leads into the apartment is very loud and squeaky there is no chance trying to sneak into the house without hearing the outside door. Today, when my ex bf left the apartment I noticed that I never heard the hallway (the loud hard to miss), door close but I figured maybe I just wasn't paying any attention. My ex by claimed that he had never cheated on me with her or anyone while in the relationship, but I never trusted him when he said that, it’s as if I could feel he was lying. Before he returned home after being gone for over 3 hours I actually was awaiting his return. I know that we are not together, but I think it’s disrespectful for a person to move on this fast especially if it involves sex with another person this close to home. I mean just two days ago he was trying to get back with telling me how he would do whatever it takes to show and prove his love for me. That plan failed that very night because I wasn't going back to normal like he'd thought I would after telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. I turned him down when he wanted to have sex with me and he has been saying to me that he was very horny, but I am not sexually attracted to him anymore. So maybe he decided to get it elsewhere since I turned him down. Anyway, I muted the TV and stayed out in the living room to see whose car he was in because he did not take his car. This was shocking because he was gone for so long I figured he could not be on foot all that time. I sat in the living room waiting on him to return home. I looked out the window and no one was there. I'm in complete silence, (mind you that the hallway door is extremely loud and squeaky no one can sneak into the house). He pops in the house and scared the hell out of me because there was no way possible I was unable to hear him come in and I was standing right by the door. I would have heard him come through that loud hallway door that leads to the outside. This is why I have come to the assumption that he never left the building in the first place. He always drives his car everywhere even to work and he is about a 5min walk from his job. That was the first suspicious clue not to mention her car was also still in the parking lot and usually she is always gone. I asked him was he upstairs with the girl (why did I do this I knew he would deny it). Of course, he was very nasty and disrespectful like he has usually been, but if I said something crazy to him he would always respond. This time he said nothing for like a whole minute, then he calmly said to me, " I don't have to tell you anything about where I been or who I been with if I was with her it’s my business." (What does that mean?) I said okay and left it alone now I am embarrassed to stay here because I can’t stay in this building when the girl upstairs F***** my ex bf we still live together and just broke up 1 week ago. I will be trying to move ASAP! The girl upstairs husband is currently deployed for 4months he is in the military she is also. She has had guys running in and out of her apartment my ex used to talk down upon her when we were still together. Now he is one of the guys that are running in and out of her apartment. Thanks for reading.....What do you all think? Women and men especially please comment. Is he trying to hurt me badly since I did not get back with him?
livelife Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Why did you guys break up in the first place and who broke up with who
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 Its another long story.... as far as the whole break up I have other posts on here that explains it in great detail. We had a horrible communication problem. He broke up with me out of nowhere because I wore perfume to school. He told me that this isnt working which is something I already told him a long time ago.
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 Move or have him move - immediately! I had agreed to stay here before all of this, but since he is fu**** the girl upstairs its hard to stay here now because of this is too embarassing. He wanted me to stay here with me until he can save enough money, but now Im moving out ASAP whether he has money to stay here or not.
january2011 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 (edited) I think you need to tell him that you've changed your mind and ask him to move out or decide that you will move out. It doesn't matter that he's sleeping with someone else, since he's now a free agent. Neither of you owe each other anything, least of all explanations or even honesty. No need to analyse it further other than you cannot live together anymore and may not be able to last until the end of September. You don't need to put up with living with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home. Since you agreed to let him stay there, his bringing his romantic life into your living space is a real possibility. Do you want to walk in on him getting up close and personal with someone else? So, either he moves out now or you do. Otherwise, I suggest spending as much time away from home as possible until he moves out. And just grin and bear it if he allows someone to sleepover. Edited August 5, 2012 by january2011 1
Tyler. Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 He is abusing your help, letting him stay there. Even when he disrespected you, you should have made him leave in the first place. And him banging the girl upstairs, come on why should you have to listen to that or know that. Just kick him to the curb, he won't like the idea but no matter what,you need to be away from this douchebag.
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 He is abusing your help, letting him stay there. Even when he disrespected you, you should have made him leave in the first place. And him banging the girl upstairs, come on why should you have to listen to that or know that. Just kick him to the curb, he won't like the idea but no matter what,you need to be away from this douchebag. Yes he is abusing my help. We agreed that we will not talk to anyone in the house and I know we don't owe eachother any explanations, but why not be honest if we're done why not tell the truth now since he never did in the relationship. Im moving out and I know he doesnt have the money to stay here or move yet but I do not care. I suffer from migraines and he gaves me one everyday due to adding stress with him. Thanks for the replys guys
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 I think you need to tell him that you've changed your mind and ask him to move out or decide that you will move out. It doesn't matter that he's sleeping with someone else, since he's now a free agent. Neither of you owe each other anything, least of all explanations or even honesty. No need to analyse it further other than you cannot live together anymore and may not be able to last until the end of September. You don't need to put up with living with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home. Since you agreed to let him stay there, his bringing his romantic life into your living space is a real possibility. Do you want to walk in on him getting up close and personal with someone else? So, either he moves out now or you do. Otherwise, I suggest spending as much time away from home as possible until he moves out. And just grin and bear it if he allows someone to sleepover. Yes he is a Free Agent but literally just 2days ago he was begging me to get back together and I turned him down. I told him we would have to take it very slow if I even thought of giving us another shot. He told me okay he would do whatever me need to do to make sure that he is not putting extra stress on me (due to my recent flare up of migraines which I believe he caused an onset lately.) He was telling me how he wanted to prove my love and trust and said that he would not talk to anymore girls off facebook again. I didnt believe him because in the past we had a tendency to get back together and he always ran to girls on fb once we broke up. This time he has crossed the line to the point of no return. I guess he wanted to hurt me since I didnt accept his offer on us getting back together after he broke up with me 1week ago out of nowhere because I wore perfume to school. This is very petty and sick and I never thought he would do this especially so soon. The crazy thing is I was gone all day yesterday getting some time to myself trying to get used to be alone. He waited until I came home to do this...Why? He could have done it when I was gone that whole time, but he waited me to see exactly what he was doing that hurts. Regradless of us being broken up or not it's been a couple days we fuss and fight, then we make up. This is why he isnt really a free agent because we have this pattern. I thought it was love we would argue and break up at least once a month and get back together and we would be fine even closer than before. We made plans to get married we even brought eachother promise rings. I had a special love message engraved on his ring. He knows us breaking up is our thing, but now we cant get back together after this I dont even want to.
Follower Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 The crazy thing is I was gone all day yesterday getting some time to myself trying to get used to be alone. He waited until I came home to do this...Why? He could have done it when I was gone that whole time, but he waited me to see exactly what he was doing that hurts. Regradless of us being broken up or not it's been a couple days we fuss and fight, then we make up. This is why he isnt really a free agent because we have this pattern. I thought it was love we would argue and break up at least once a month and get back together and we would be fine even closer than before. We made plans to get married we even brought eachother promise rings. I had a special love message engraved on his ring. He knows us breaking up is our thing, but now we cant get back together after this I dont even want to. Mabye its time to break the pattern and mabye he has realised this. If this is the case i highly doubt he is doing it with ANY regard to you or your feelings... I Doubt he is being vindictive. Its possible he left the house in a coincidence at the timing or he just doesnt want to be around you... At either rate you need to try and not care.
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 (edited) Mabye its time to break the pattern and mabye he has realised this. If this is the case i highly doubt he is doing it with ANY regard to you or your feelings... I Doubt he is being vindictive. Its possible he left the house in a coincidence at the timing or he just doesnt want to be around you... At either rate you need to try and not care. I hear you yes I am trying not to care, but its hard not to care. We have been through alot literally and survived everything together. I thought we were pretty close in our relationship he was basically my bestfriend. I know we have been in a relationship for over 1.5, but we have lived together this whole time also. I never thought he would do this to me. This is why I am so hurt I guess I never knew who he really was all along. Edited August 6, 2012 by tryingtofindmyway24
StripeyShirt Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Free agent or not, after one and a half years, that is pretty low act. I am glad you are going to get away from him.
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 Free agent or not, after one and a half years, that is pretty low act. I am glad you are going to get away from him. Thank you this is what I said because really he wasnt a free agent considering the fact that we break up for like 1 day or 2 then get back together because we live together so its kinda hard to avoid. I just feel that if this was the real end for us, then he shouldve given me more respect as far as waiting until he moved out or i move out. I dont know why he asked me if he could stay here until he saves up enough money. Now I'm the one trying to move out ASAP because its too embarrassing to stay here now. I thought he would have showed more respect, but why should i think this considering the fact that he was disrespectful in the whole relationship so cant expect him to change.
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