pho34 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I'm new to dating but just had a situation with a girl I liked, she was really into me, I'm usually pessimistic about girls' interest in me, but I could tell she REALLY liked me. I made tons of mistakes and she didn't care. Unfortunately on the fourth date I did something she probably construed as needy, a PDA, I just didn't know any better. After that she got cold over texts. I then made it worse by sending a desperate text. I played it cool for the most part, didn't display any neediness on our dates until the PDA, which I didn't know was I guess against the rules...(I pretty much got my dating information from TV shows and thought it was the norm lol) Then realized I messed up and just made it worse with the desperate text. After you screw up and show desperation/needyness to a girl is it possible to rekindle her interest or are you done? I never really texted her a ton (1-2x a week) if I back off for a while (haven't texted her in three weeks) is it possible she changes her mind?
january2011 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 After no contact for three weeks, I'd say that she's probably "done." I would be. I don't know what you did, but it's also possible that her "cold" behaviour has nothing to do with you. That is, there is an alternative explanation. Either way, it doesn't matter. Unfortunately, I highly doubt that you've built up enough of a bond in your previous interactions for the relationship to survive three weeks of no interaction at all. I suggest that you move on and focus on someone else.
Author pho34 Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 I was actually told to wait 2-4 weeks before contacting again to seem less needy. PDA-Hand holding in movie theater (she was ok at first), then I put hand on her thigh. Basically had pda with her throughout entire movie. Afterwards grabbed her hand on street which she didn't like. This was already after we had fooled around at my place...
january2011 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I know some people can be a bit funny about hand-holding but, in my opinion, the PDA you described is very tame. And her reaction does seem odd given that you've already fooled around. Asking for a break of 2-4 weeks so early on in a relationship is not a good sign. It does not bode well for the future. What's going to happen if you tell her that you love her? Is she going to ask for a three-month break? I suspect that you are moving too fast for her. If she was "feeling it" too, it's unlikely she would have reacted in the way that she did. I wouldn't put up with 2-4 weeks of no contact after four dates. Again, I say move on.
dropdeadredtx Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Hand-holding is not at all what I thought you meant by needy. Needy is "I just texted you...you didn't answer. Did you get my last text?" She is just not into you.
Author pho34 Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 The two needy things I did around were asking her for third date in a week after fooling around...but I never followed through, and I guess the Pda came off as needy to her. Other than that I think I was alright until I did send desperate texts but at that point the wheels had started falling off already. I didn't ask for a break, I just got run around on dates and stopped texting her for a bit. I think I was moving too slow if anything. She was really into me, showed all the signs, and after the PDA it seemed like she changed her mind. She still kissed me good night though which made me confused s hell.
Recommended Posts