M30USA Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 As many of you know, I'm currently separated with temporary orders for equal custody of my children. I'm trying to give them the best life possible in my town here, and their mom lives 2 hours away. So I scheduled my youngest child for baby dedication at church a few weeks from now. I informed their mom. Within merely hours, she texted me back saying that our child will be dedicated at her church where she lives in less than 36 hours. I was like...really!? Either she scheduled it immediately after I told her I scheduled mine or she had it planned weeks ago and didn't think it was important to tell the child's father. She has to have complete control over all things. She can't ever let anyone do anything without having to one-up them. This is the main reason our marriage fell apart (aside from her domestic violence against me). It's just sad to see that some people will just never change. She has chosen control (the idea of control) over her husband.
DuckSoup Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 (edited) The baby won't care either way. The point being it's a lose lose situation only if you tell yourself it is. Unless I'm missing something, that you didn't post, the only thing that is bothering you is that the baby will be dedicated at your wife's church rather than yours. So what? Are you and your wife two different religions? Is one church "better" than the other? If not, let your wife have her way. That way there is no lose lose. She has to have complete control over all things. She can't ever let anyone do anything without having to one-up them. This is the main reason our marriage fell apart (aside from her domestic violence against me). It's just sad to see that some people will just never change. She has chosen control (the idea of control) over her husband. And your wasting any time at all being concerned about her petty manipulations is what permits her to have control over you. If it's not something that's going to affect the health of the child, cost you any money, or seriously inconvenience you, then it's not even worth fighting about. It's not important except to her, unless YOU make it important to yourself. Stop giving her that power over you. Let the dedication be in 36 hours at the church of your wife's choosing, let her have her control, but obviously you should have your own chat with the minister or preacher who is presiding before hand to make it very clear that you are the father and you want to be included in the service. I hardly believe your wife has the "power" to get the preacher to exclude you from the service. If she does, then just have your lawyer handle things, it will look very bad for your wife in court if she excluded you from the baby's dedication. Edited August 5, 2012 by DuckSoup 2
Author M30USA Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 The baby won't care either way. The point being it's a lose lose situation only if you tell yourself it is. Unless I'm missing something, that you didn't post, the only thing that is bothering you is that the baby will be dedicated at your wife's church rather than yours. So what? Are you and your wife two different religions? Is one church "better" than the other? If not, let your wife have her way. That way there is no lose lose. And your wasting any time at all being concerned about her petty manipulations is what permits her to have control over you. If it's not something that's going to affect the health of the child, cost you any money, or seriously inconvenience you, then it's not even worth fighting about. It's not important except to her, unless YOU make it important to yourself. Stop giving her that power over you. Let the dedication be in 36 hours at the church of your wife's choosing, let her have her control, but obviously you should have your own chat with the minister or preacher who is presiding before hand to make it very clear that you are the father and you want to be included in the service. I hardly believe your wife has the "power" to get the preacher to exclude you from the service. If she does, then just have your lawyer handle things, it will look very bad for your wife in court if she excluded you from the baby's dedication. Yes, but she's doing all these things, I believe, because she wants to win primary custody in her hometown. It's all a facade so she can say to the judge, "See? Everything with the children is done in my town."
DuckSoup Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Yes, but she's doing all these things, I believe, because she wants to win primary custody in her hometown. It's all a facade so she can say to the judge, "See? Everything with the children is done in my town." Like I said...if there's an ulterior motive, you need to get your lawyer involved--which will obviously cost you more money...but that's how it goes. EVERYTHING has to be DOCUMENTED. The fact that you set up the dedication first, then she pulled the rug out from under you. If you're worried about the impact on custody, then you should NOT acquiesce to her change in plans. But you really need to consult with a lawyer since you believe her games will have an impact on the custody case. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I agree with DS. I know it's a piss-off but scrapping over everything stupid thing that she does will only make things worse for your child. Don't worry, they'll be plenty to scrap over later.
Author M30USA Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 I think I'm gonna go to the dedication she scheduled in her town. Then I will keep my other one and go to that one as well. 1
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