Kathyy28 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 I need some advice because I'm not sure if it's okay to be feeling the way that I am right now. My boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship while I'm in school. I go to school in Miami, but during the summer I come back home to Boston where he also lives. I am leaving back to school in 10 days where we would be apart until I come back home in December for 3 weeks. I believe since we only have 10 days left, then we should try to cherish the next few days as much as possible and try to see each other more often. Not everyday, but at least more than usual since our time is very limited. This past week I only saw him twice, and lately we haven't seen each other on the weekends because he has been spending it with his friends. We saw each other yesterday, but we were planning to go to a brewery that it's only open on the weekend and this is my last real weekend here before we go our separate ways from each other for the semester. We both agreed that tomorrow we weren't going to see each other and most likely we won't see each other on Monday since Tuesday is our movie day. My question is, am I being unreasonable or clingy to be bothered and hurt with the fact that he would rather spend our last few days together with his friends instead of me? I feel that our time is limited and his time with his friends is not. I don't know how to talk to him about this without coming off as controlling or clingy/needy.
AwptiK Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 I don't quite know how i'd bring this up to him and discuss it, but I would definitely agree that it's not being clingy. If any couple was about to be apart for that length of time, they should definitely make some accommodations to spend a little more time together than usual. I don't see it being any issue or seeming clingy to ask about maybe seeing each other Monday, stating that you're about to leave. I'd also suggest maybe talking about it on Tuesday while you intend to hangout already...simply reminding him that you are about to be gone for ~3.5 months time.
veggirl Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Well if your boyfriend thinks your desire to see him more than 2x per week when you only have 10 days left is clingy and needy then you two just want a different type of relationship. A lot of young guys have girlfriends kinda just to have them. Esp college aged. They have girlfriends cause everyone else does, could be any girl really as long as she is pretty and kinda fun. Their priority is often times their friends, not their girl. Your boyfriend is very young (as are you) and he is not ready to settle down, he wants his time with his friends so that he can be young. Why don't you just call him with a specific plan and see what he says? Ask him for this upcoming weekend to be just the two of you. He is most likely not as into you as you are into him. It sucks, but it happens. You shouldn't be afraid to express your concerns / needs to your boyfriend. Tell him "hey we only have 10 days before I leave for school. You can see your friends anytime, I'd like to spend those days with you. What do you think?"
Author Kathyy28 Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 I don't quite know how i'd bring this up to him and discuss it, but I would definitely agree that it's not being clingy. If any couple was about to be apart for that length of time, they should definitely make some accommodations to spend a little more time together than usual. I don't see it being any issue or seeming clingy to ask about maybe seeing each other Monday, stating that you're about to leave. I'd also suggest maybe talking about it on Tuesday while you intend to hangout already...simply reminding him that you are about to be gone for ~3.5 months time. I've tried reminding him that I will be leaving and he actually gets mad about it. He tells me that he already knows this and that I don't have to remind him about it. I guess he probably see's it as if by me saying that I am trying to manipulate him to hang out with me. But manipulating is the last thing I want to do which is why I stop saying that. We had talked yesterday about going to a festival today that's actually near the brewery but it wasn't officially established. I feel that he changed his mind after one of his friends called him to go clubbing and he didn't go since we already had plans to go rock-climbing. So now he is probably trying not to hang out with me or see me to be able to go out tonight with his friends.
Author Kathyy28 Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 Well if your boyfriend thinks your desire to see him more than 2x per week when you only have 10 days left is clingy and needy then you two just want a different type of relationship. A lot of young guys have girlfriends kinda just to have them. Esp college aged. They have girlfriends cause everyone else does, could be any girl really as long as she is pretty and kinda fun. Their priority is often times their friends, not their girl. Your boyfriend is very young (as are you) and he is not ready to settle down, he wants his time with his friends so that he can be young. Why don't you just call him with a specific plan and see what he says? Ask him for this upcoming weekend to be just the two of you. He is most likely not as into you as you are into him. It sucks, but it happens. You shouldn't be afraid to express your concerns / needs to your boyfriend. Tell him "hey we only have 10 days before I leave for school. You can see your friends anytime, I'd like to spend those days with you. What do you think?" We are both 23 going on 24. I started school a few years after high school due to financial reasons. We both are in love with each other, and we have spoken about probably him moving down there within the next year. But I do think that I am putting our relationship more as a priority than he is, which is something I will take into consideration while we are away.
veggirl Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 We are both 23 going on 24. I started school a few years after high school due to financial reasons. We both are in love with each other, and we have spoken about probably him moving down there within the next year. But I do think that I am putting our relationship more as a priority than he is, which is something I will take into consideration while we are away. Oh sorry, I confused you with the guy who posted about his girl and they are 19 and 21. Well, I still think you should just say something like what i posted. A guy in love wants to spend time with his girlfriend before she leaves town for 4 months.
Recommended Posts