onthefence210 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 I am in the early stages of divorce...meaning its known, I've retained a lawyer and now just waiting for my H to be served. My H has stated that a D isn't what he wants, but our M has been nothing but me being manipulated by him. I am no Angel, I have been addressing my own issues intensively in IC but my H doesn't think he has problems so he won't go to IC, yet the few times in MC he gets extremely mad when the dynamics of our M are talked about and only wants to hear how I can change back to who I was to suit his needs. The problem now, his mother is dying. I have to decide if I should hold off on having him served. His relationship with his very codependent mother was like any son who needs his mothers approval. He loves her to death. He has spent so much time by her side but recently he hasn't been coming home until very late in the morning. He says he's driving around, clearing his head but I have been there done that and so I checked his phone. He can't text on it as its a work phone but there were some emails that were definitely flirty and he has been meeting this women for drinks. I would chalk it up to grieving son, needing a friend but my H is good at playing the victim, hence why I am confused at should I wait to have him served. I am not angry over his new friendship nor do I really care, other then he is fighting me with everything in order to stall the divorce. He has used manipulation and intimidation and down right emotional warfare to keep me from doing anything. So in a way, I'm hoping his "friend" will show him he deserves better then living in a house with a W who just can't do it anymore. So my IC posed the question, "how will u feel in a yr from now with having him served while his mother is dying"? I wish i know how I'd feel today. As I mentioned my H is good at playing the victim. He villianized me yrs ago to make his 2 A's my fault and yes I fell for it. He is good, real good. Also the "friend". Do I keep track of the relationship for the D? I really don't care that he's victimizing someone else for his own personal needs, but he is threatening everything as far as D including fighting for my daughter. Again, I have no interest in keeping him away from his daughter, but his primary concern isn't her, it's hurting me. So I ask, what do I do?
sad puppy Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Just keep moving on. Move forward with the divorce, so you can begin your next chapter. He's abused you enough, for long enough, he can't do it anymore, just keep moving forward. The rest of your life is waiting for you.
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