RoboHobo Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 You took a very brave and difficult first step, well done. Your life will only get better from here on. Good luck and keep us posted.
FreeMe Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 Hi TMT, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I think if he truly wants to work things out with you then it's ridiculous for him to still hang out with her and for him to expect you to learn to be comfortable with that. I think you're doing the right thing right now though I can imagine how it must be tearing you to pieces. At least you've got family around. I think I would need the kitties near me going through something like that. Pets are so comforting. Take care-
murasaki Posted July 15, 2004 Posted July 15, 2004 I agree that you've made a very good first step. Who knows how things will end up, in the meantime it's good for you to distance yourself as much as you can from his confusion. I think you're absolutely right that you shouldn't have to be in a situation where you're second-guessing everything he says or does, or jumping everytime his cellphone beeps to tell him he's got a new text message. And I also think you're right that he's still got his head in the sand if he thinks he can stay with you and maintain any kind of non-work-related friendship with her. It's a tricky situation because they work together, and it sounds like the group they work with often socializes after hours, as is often the case with restaurant/bar workers. Take care of yourself, first and foremost. If Greg gets himself sorted out, he'll be able to interact with you in a way that doesn't create turmoil and doubt in your life. If he continues to make you feel as you do now, he's not capable of being in a relationship with you, no matter how much he loves you.
CurlyIam Posted July 16, 2004 Posted July 16, 2004 Sarah, You are doing the best thing by not taking any of his BS. You are 150% right to move out. Believe me, if a man wants a woman back, he fights for her big time. And changes accordingly. IT was his choice really to preffer his friendship to that girl to the relationship he had with you. She is not a "galfriend", she is the woman with whom he cheated on you. What else can I say, I too hate leftovers... Tell us when you move out with your mom and how it goes. Cheers, Curly
healing-nicely Posted July 20, 2004 Posted July 20, 2004 Sarah, I have been exactly where you are now. My boyfriend of eight years finally left me for his "friend" from work, who had been "just a friend" for four of our eight years. To make a long story short, his actions were very similar to your boyfriends. At the time I made the decision to let him figure out what he wanted. Well four years after all that s**t went down, he finally made his decision and left me for her again. Well, he didn't really make the decision, she called me and gave me the scoop on their "friendship" (i.e. cheating). I finally said "ENOUGH". I am not saying our situations are identical. And please... you and your guy may have something very special. If you decide to work things out, just do not let him keep her as a friend. I did, and was made the chump of all chumps. Once the spark of sexual interest is there, it is almost impossible to go back to "just friends". Some people have posted that your guy did nothing wrong. And I have always agreed that people can't help who they love. Not being honest with the person you are involved with can be extremely hurtful in any type of relationship. Don't you expect your friends to be truthful? Isn't that a sign of their respect and caring? You have done something very hard and painful in taking charge of your situation. You are an exceptionally strong person, and whatever you decide will be right for you. He is going to loose someone very special if he doesn't get his head out of his a**!!!
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