K4RM4 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Hi, this is my first post, and a long one at that so please bear with me. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 10 months. Last week, she went on a week-long religious camp. During this time, I was not really communicating with her because she said she didnt really have much time to use her phone. I understood because I figured shes having fun and is caught up in all the camp's activities but at the same time, she carries her phone EVERYWHERE. The problem is, I know there were a lot of guys there that she likes or used to like and this camp serves as essentially a week-long matchmaking service. Sometimes she would stay up until 4am playing games with the guys houses. I want to say i trust my girlfriend, I really do. But if I did, I wouldnt be posting this. Since shes religious, Im not worried that shell cheat on me in any sexual form. My biggest fear is that shes going to begin to like someone more than me. Immature I know, but Im a young college student. When she got back she had already planned a Disneyland trip with some of the people from the camp. When I asked "Who?" her response was "People from camp" and when I pushed it a little, she said "You dont know them". She asked me permission to go, which is a little reassuring until I found out she went with her friend and her boyfriend and one other guy. My first thought was "What the **** is this; a double date??" She assured me that it was not and she barely knew the guy yet she added him on facebook and instagram, and I still have nagging doubts in my head. When she got back, I looked at her phone and she had pictures of her taken by the other guy. At this point he seemed a lot more than someone she "barely knew". He also posted stuff on her facebook, using her phone. I also came across a picture she posted on instagram of disneyland and her friend had texted her saying "How did your double date go?" I dont know if this was a joke, but I can tell you I wasnt laughing. At all. Her response was "Shut up". I cant tell if Im being played here. To me, considering everything that has been said, this "casual" Disneyland trip was not "casual" at all. My girlfriend still acts completely normal, doing the same things and saying the same things yet I cant help feeling like something is up. She is not the type to cheat on anything and is a very honest person. She says she loves me and misses me all the time, but every time I think about the trip, I cant help feeling like something is wrong. She doesnt have the guys number and doesnt really hide anything from me, but she doesnt really seem too keen on letting me snoop in her phone. Another part of me thinks that her religious friends are trying to set her up with someone who is "closer to God," since I am not religious. I dont know what to think and I dont want to make it a big deal, if I shouldnt be. What do you guys think? Thanks so much! Regards.
TaraMaiden Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 At one point or another, my friend, she WILL dump you. It's on the cards - and yes, in all probability, it will be the Religion Ace up her sleeve that will be put forward as the river card clincher. my suggestion would be to be the one who bails first - and tell her that her religious beliefs obviously don't extend to being honest, open and kind. she's pulling the wool over your eyes, because this other guy is the wolf in sheep's clothing. and you're like the lamb to the slaughter. Dump her now. honest, it will be for the best....
Radu Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Her answer of 'Shut up' pretty much says it all, as does her hiding this stuff, or not taking the time to keep in touch with you for the duration of this camp. Move on ... without her. At one point or another, my friend, she WILL dump you. It's on the cards - and yes, in all probability, it will be the Religion Ace up her sleeve that will be put forward as the river card clincher. my suggestion would be to be the one who bails first - and tell her that her religious beliefs obviously don't extend to being honest, open and kind. she's pulling the wool over your eyes, because this other guy is the wolf in sheep's clothing. and you're like the lamb to the slaughter. Dump her now. honest, it will be for the best.... TaraMaiden is right, at this moment she is preparing her exit from the relationship.
venusianx13 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 It was highly inappropriate for her to go on this "double date" trip to Disneyland. Why wouldn't she invite you to come along? All things aside, this alone stands as a BIG red flag. And the fact that she won't talk to you about your concerns? Strike two. Honestly, if I were in your position, I'd set myself free. You're young...you're going to have many relationships after this one. And so will she.
Author K4RM4 Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 Thank you for the help guys. I really dont want to break up because this is the only thing she has ever done to make me question our relationship. Most (~75%) of her friends ARE guys so I think Im just going to wait and see what happens. I know it probably sounds like Im making excuses NOT to leave her, but breaking up, for me, is a last resort if there is no doubt she is seeing someone else because I really love her a lot. So far, it seems as though she has forgotten all about "him". No texts, no calls, and no suspicious activity. I appreciate everyone's input.
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I think you'll find 'breaking up is a last resort' for most people.... and when she dumps you for the fact that, as a Christian she believes God wants her to fulfil her life with a fellow Christian..... well. come back and tell us how that goes....
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