GutFeeling Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Is being rejected for sex a normal thing in a long lasting relationship? We have been going out for over 2 years now, she told me a few times she loves me. She didn't have much of a social life and seemed to be a bit lonely. I was looking for something serious myself, someone I can trust and be cared for. Now I'm getting the impression that everything is about her. She is now taking dance classes full time, does home schooling and has a full time job. Tells me the dancing helps forget her problems, she wants to dance more when she's stressed out. I would hope that she would want to spend more time with me if she is troubled, I feel I'm not important because she tends to push me away instead. When I'm stressed out, I want to spend time with her. Talk about my problems and get some love. She has this new guy friend from her dance class that she talks to often outside of class, came over to her place a couple times. We usually have sex quite often, she pretty much gives it whenever I want except lately when she's too tired. We had a fight last week about her friend coming over to her place, I showed up unannounced at her apartment and the guy was there at 1 am after dance class. I didn't catch them doing anything and she jumped me when I was at the door giving me a big hug and kiss, this is not a normal reaction when I come over. She said they were talking about her new job offer and they moved the conversation indoors, he was going to have a glass of water and get going. I was really uncomfortable with the situation since I told her last time he was at her place that I don't feel comfortable with the guy friend being there. She is now calling me jealous and feels I don't trust her, she's been very irritated but claims it doesn't have to do with me, says she's just being a brat because she's in a bad mood. We talked a bit about the problem and I explained to her that it doesn't look right to me for her friend to be there and makes me uncomfortable and that I think there may have been something going on that I interrupted. She said to me that she only wants me and that I should trust her and that I have no right to control who she is friends with and that she invites them over. We since made up and had sex once, now a couple days later nothing. She gets close to me and hugs me, kisses me, but when I try to get a better kiss she says that she doesn't feel like making out. She enjoys my touch as long as it's not sexual. Whenever I go towards more intimate parts, and I don't mean right for them, she pushes me away. She has an important deadline coming up in a couple days for school, and even skipped out on dance classes to try to get it done. She does seem to have a lot on her mind and I'm thinking that I'm a part of it. She's making it seem like me being jealous and untrusting is causing problems in our relationship. The guy hooked her up with a better job at his work place, exactly what she wanted. She was very unhappy with her old job, she was offered the new job that she will be starting soon. I went over to her place to hear all about the big news recently, it's life changing for her so she was very excited about the whole thing. I gave her a big hug and congratulated her, told her I'm happy for her. She's worried about the friends she made and will no longer have contact with at her old job. She's also worried that she will not be good enough for her new job. She will need to learn a lot of new things and be working in an unfamiliar setting. She was really happy to get the job, but also concerned. We had a long discussion of how she felt about the whole thing, I listened to her and gave positive feedback. I made dinner for us, held her, comforted her, gave her a massage, she seemed to calm down a lot and I was getting turned on. We were laying together and I started touching her gently, kissing her neck, and just being affectionate over all. She tells me that she is too excited to have sex and pushes my hand away, says she just wants to cuddle. I thought I had her going, she seemed to like the affection but didn't want to take it further than that. I don't understand why she would be like that, makes me feel rejected. Shouldn't my girlfriend be into me, shouldn't she want to have sex in that situation? I'm feeling like there is something going on, we do have some problems from time to time lately and argue a bit, get into fights but we work them out. I think there may be a guy from dance class she's into, but she tells me that I'm the only one. This situation makes me feel like she's not telling me everything. She would not want to have sex with me when she's tired, but this is new for me. She says that she doesn't want to have sex because there is lots on her mind, but unless it's another guy I can't see why it would be an issue. I have a horrible feeling in my stomach about this, and am considering breaking up before the situation gets really bad. I'm trying to think positively about the whole thing, maybe she doesn't want to have sex because of all the excitement and worries she has. I'm planning to have a talk to her before making a decision whether to break it off, any advice on how I can go about it to get to the bottom of it without it causing the break up? Your input is appreciated.
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