gaius Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 There is one of the dogmen, though, who I have a definite eye for. I've seen him around for a while, and we often chat. From his body language and eye contact he likes me back. When he came over today, I quickly switched the subject away from politics and onto something that I could be all girly and goo-eyed about (he really doesn't strike me as a political kind of guy). I'm going to have to do a bit of exploratory work to find out if he's single. If he is, then he can definitely hit on me, but I don't know if he's got the oomph to do it. I can see us, in twenty years time, still not past the stage of exchanging eye contact and shy grins....so I could use a bit of advice here on what I could do to move this one forward a little. I just want to know what you get all goo-eyed and girly talking about. 2
RedRobin Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Oh really? Aw, that's too bad. I really thought we'd be talking about the sleeping arrangements since I already booked a cheap motel. I'm over 19. You wouldn't be interested.
Taramere Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I just want to know what you get all goo-eyed and girly talking about. So do I! I could see the sixty something alphamale didn't approve though. One minute he and I were having a riproaring discussion about politics, the next I was all misty eyed about puppies and flowers. He did his best to go with the flow though. "Those are begonias, woman. What do you feed that puppy, Sir? No! Never feed a puppy tinned food. Oh God save us! Now, it's very expensive of course, but what you should be feeding it is...." 1
Leopard Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I want to get approached more by men at my level. Less by men below my level.
Els Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 It's about the way it's done. Hooting, cat-calling, lame pick-up lines, anything intimating at just wanting to screw and dash, is flat-out rude unless you already know the woman and know she'd be okay with it. Yes, even if you're an underwear model. A nice, friendly, general conversation that treats me as a person, not just something he wants to fvsck, is always welcome. Yes, even if you look completely average. Witty and fun conversation is best, but not everyone is comfortable enough to try that with a complete stranger, and if you aren't very familiar with social norms in that place it might turn out rude. I don't really care about being approached now that I'm in an R, but if I was single I'm sure I would enjoy more of #2 or #3 above.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Good looking women are confident? http://gifsforum.com/images/gif/lol/grand/rteZP.gif Wait, you're actually serious? I've never met a good looking woman who wasn't confident.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 The whole "I already tried it but it didn't work" is nothing but an excuse. I've had approaches that could be considered "bad", and I've also had some that were great. If you always hold the belief that something's going to go wrong, then you're never going to get anywhere. Took me a while to really understand it, but now I realize the importance of what that means. Let go of the excuses and start gaining control of your life. We only have one to live, after all. Maybe. But it wasn't just that it went "bad" and isn't just approaches either. Any time I've ever tried to talk to women (with the exceptions I've stated before) they act really annoyed. I've never come away from such an interaction with the impression that she was glad we spoke to each other.
Els Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Cut the bull****. i'm below average and it's considered an act of hate if i approach any lady in any manner. average guys can approach but have to do it right but they can't approch better looking ladies. the attractive guys can do anything catcall, hooting, be lame and get pick of the liter. Mm, amazing example of how you treat women like people in a nice, fun, friendly fashion. I'm sure success will come to you in time.
ptp Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I've never met a good looking woman who wasn't confident. I have seen it, usually the woman isn't a snappy dresser or she wouldn't be considered a universal beauty, but is just my type and thus I find her incredibly attractive. 1
Els Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Maybe. But it wasn't just that it went "bad" and isn't just approaches either. Any time I've ever tried to talk to women (with the exceptions I've stated before) they act really annoyed. I've never come away from such an interaction with the impression that she was glad we spoke to each other. If you want us to help, you need to give us specifics. The last girl you approached: Describe her in a few sentences? Where did you approach her? What was she doing when you approached? What did you say? What makes you think she was annoyed? List a few and we might be able to find patterns somewhere.
ThaWholigan Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I've never met a good looking woman who wasn't confident. I have - plenty of times..... 2
brahmabull117 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I have - plenty of times..... A friend of a friend looks like a blonde pornstar and last time she kept going on and on about she wants to lose weight Later on her and my friend went into the bathroom and she kept telling her how she looks like a cow. This is a girl with pornstar proportions and giant tits, just FYI mega LOL @ good looking women being all confident
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 If you want us to help, you need to give us specifics. The last girl you approached: Describe her in a few sentences? Where did you approach her? What was she doing when you approached? What did you say? What makes you think she was annoyed? List a few and we might be able to find patterns somewhere. In a class. I sat next to her, talked about the class, etc. you know normal chit chat. She didn't really have much to say but the next class (two days later) she sat in a totally different place. If this was just a one off thing I could see where maybe it's a coincidence, but it's happened many many times.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 A friend of a friend looks like a blonde pornstar and last time she kept going on and on about she wants to lose weight Later on her and my friend went into the bathroom and she kept telling her how she looks like a cow. This is a girl with pornstar proportions and giant tits, just FYI mega LOL @ good looking women being all confident Perhaps they're just confident around me then.
Els Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 In a class. I sat next to her, talked about the class, etc. you know normal chit chat. She didn't really have much to say but the next class (two days later) she sat in a totally different place. If this was just a one off thing I could see where maybe it's a coincidence, but it's happened many many times. By the same person?
GravityMan Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I think it depends on a number of factors (and varies from woman to woman) whether women like being approached or not. I don't think it's as simple as "less often or more often". * It depends on her current status (single, in a committed relationship, or married), obviously. * It depends on the guy. Women's tastes in men vary widely, physically speaking. However, in general I think the "normal"/"average" looking guy who takes good care of himself, clothing-wise looks well put together, and carries himself confidently has a good chance...possibly as good as the "hot" guy. If the woman thinks the guy is ugly; then his approach is almost guaranteed to fail. * It depends on how he approaches. This is probably the most important one. I think that convos that begin AND flow organically are best, ideally with a dash of humor. There should be no obvious agenda, no pick-up lines, no going overboard in complimenting her looks. Just treat her like a human being...you see her, find her (or whatever she's doing) interesting, and strike up a casual conversation...with zero expectations on where it could lead. This isn't rocket science. It may lead to dating and a relationship; it may lead to friendship; there's a small chance it may lead to the guy being pepper-sprayed and slapped. Who knows. * It depends on the location. I doubt many women like being approached out on the street, in the grocery store, book store, etc. This is because their minds are usually focused on the task at hand, whether it's getting to their destination, buying organic produce, or browsing the latest bestseller novels. The women may not immediately rebuff the guy, but the guy is basically a distraction to them and their immediate objective. An approach that's relevant to the groceries or books can help a lot, though. As far as bars and clubs are concerned, women may not mind being approached...but that's simply because they are expecting to be approached quite often...usually by guys just looking for sex. Women tend to have their defenses fortified at bars/clubs. I think that friends-of-friends and common-interest events/activities are the best avenues. You and her and others are all engaging in the shared interest, but there's also an expectation to socialize with each other. Convos are easier to start and keep going. * It depends on the woman's current mood. If she's preoccupied, worried, or unhappy...then it's far less likely that any approach from any guy will succeed. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 By the same person? No no no. Different people over the years. And it's not just in classes either, I don't remember the exact circumstances but I often pick up general feelings of unease (from the women) whenever I try to talk to women. Doesn't matter if we're talking about in person interactions or online ones either. The only successful approach I can recall is senior year of high school at the homecoming dance. I was dateless (obviously) and I noticed a girl I knew standing kind of by herself (with some friends but not any guys) and I asked her to dance and she accepted. Not a "big deal" but to this day that's the only girl who's ever allowed me to touch her.
dropdeadredtx Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I've never met a good looking woman who wasn't confident. I have a healthy dose of self-confidence, and being approached doesn't bother me at all - even by men I have no interest in dating. I have perfected the art of turning men down kindly and with humour and grace, and have even been told "That's the nicest brush-off I have ever had." Women who are snarky or mean in their rejections are often women with there own self-esteem issues.
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