Seperated, 3 kids, I dont know what my wifes intentions are

[jgregory4614]

My wife and I have been seperated for over a month now. She told me she's not happy and wanted me to move out. We've been through this before. We have 3 young childeren. We both work but her job is more time demanding. She's off 1 day a week and works 12 hour days. It doesn't make a lot of much needed time for our childeren. She's only allowing me to have them every other weekend. Her grandparents watch our kids while the daycare isn't open including the weekends. They are old and will get exhuasted from watching them.

My wife secretly thrives from guys giving her attention. Now she likes to go out and party at clubs. She's comfortable about going home with other guys.

She recently got a loan that I'm not able to get even when my credit is better than hers. There was no way she could have got the loan by herself. She told me she just walked in and got it with no problem. With all the loan money spent she's now taking a costly trip to pick up 2 of our childeren that are out of state from summer vacation with family. The trip is going to take at least $1200. This is a lot of money to us.

The NC rule is limited to 2 weeks at a time because of the kids. I'm good about not having any contact with her until she calls or text about the kids then thats when I find out about everything wrote about in the above paragraphs.

She hasn't asked about child support but I do buy them anything they need at her request. We both make about 30,000 a year a peice. Besides the loan I really don't understand were this money is coming from. I haven't seen any signs of her being in a relationship with another guy but I'm sure she's had a few flings already.

I do have a bad habbit of checking her facebook page. She has a few guys as friends that I do not know but were added towards the end of our seperation. They do post comments to about status updates which I can not stand to see. I've been debating on blocking her all together but I dont want to risk our friendship or show her I'm jealous. Our seperation right now is content and I don't want to stir up any drama. I dont want to make her mad and hit me with $1000 + per month court ordered child support on three childeren. Which I could not afford with the money I make and the state of Louisana where I live is the toughest state when it comes to child support. I seriously wouldn't be able to live on my own if that happens. Please I need some sort of advice.

[Radu]

I'm not in the US, but i think it will apply what i have to say to you :

- child support payments are determined afaik on a percentage basis, i heard something like 15% of what you make +5% for each additional child.

Sounds like you make a bit above 1500 a month, i doubt you will end up paying 1000 bucks a month.

- from your description of her job, i suspect she is a waitress or something like that, someone who gets tips ... those tips are part of the underground economy, i doubt she reports them to the IRS

- doesn't sound like you talked to a lawyer, do so pronto

- she kicked you out before, sounds like you are a bit of a doormat, look up the 180 and implement it

- get organized immediately, and by this i mean your support system

- if need be, once you have all of the information, start the divorce process. You can stop it at any time but the realisation should hit her quite hard.

- judges tend to award custody primary to the mother, but the father also has rights. I think you can get the kids for more than 2d out of 14.

 

From your posts i think she has been leading this stuff for quite some time, in relationships generally the one who cares the least has the most ammount of power.

So you need to become that person, for both you and your kids.

 

PS: The comment about her enjoying male attention, keep that in mind for the future as a major red flag regarding women who are in a LTR.

[DuckSoup]

My wife and I have been seperated for over a month now. She told me she's not happy and wanted me to move out. We've been through this before. We have 3 young childeren. We both work but her job is more time demanding. She's off 1 day a week and works 12 hour days. It doesn't make a lot of much needed time for our childeren. She's only allowing me to have them every other weekend. Her grandparents watch our kids while the daycare isn't open including the weekends. They are old and will get exhuasted from watching them.

My wife secretly thrives from guys giving her attention. Now she likes to go out and party at clubs. She's comfortable about going home with other guys.

She recently got a loan that I'm not able to get even when my credit is better than hers. There was no way she could have got the loan by herself. She told me she just walked in and got it with no problem. With all the loan money spent she's now taking a costly trip to pick up 2 of our childeren that are out of state from summer vacation with family. The trip is going to take at least $1200. This is a lot of money to us.

The NC rule is limited to 2 weeks at a time because of the kids. I'm good about not having any contact with her until she calls or text about the kids then thats when I find out about everything wrote about in the above paragraphs.

She hasn't asked about child support but I do buy them anything they need at her request. We both make about 30,000 a year a peice. Besides the loan I really don't understand were this money is coming from. I haven't seen any signs of her being in a relationship with another guy but I'm sure she's had a few flings already.

I do have a bad habbit of checking her facebook page. She has a few guys as friends that I do not know but were added towards the end of our seperation. They do post comments to about status updates which I can not stand to see. I've been debating on blocking her all together but I dont want to risk our friendship or show her I'm jealous. Our seperation right now is content and I don't want to stir up any drama. I dont want to make her mad and hit me with $1000 + per month court ordered child support on three childeren. Which I could not afford with the money I make and the state of Louisana where I live is the toughest state when it comes to child support. I seriously wouldn't be able to live on my own if that happens. Please I need some sort of advice.

 

You should ABSOLUTELY ENCOURAGE your wife to get deeply involved with one of the many guys she is banging and counsel her to get her hooks in deep with the one with the most money. Tell her she deserves to be married to a rich man and she is entitled to it, and you won't stand in the way of her happiness. Tell her that her best strategy is to get married to a rich guy, maybe it will have to be an older ugly dude she met at her work, she can marry a rich guy, have all the money for all the trips she wants, and she can still bang other guys on the side any way. You will be more than happy to take care of the children as much as you can to allow her to have all the fun she wants. Also warn her to be careful about banging too many guys or else be very discrete because then the rich guy might be very cautious about marrying her. Tell her you will not bad mouth her to anyone as that might interfere with her getting re-married to a rich guy as soon as possible.

[yongyong]

It would suck to tell your kids 'your mom is a hoe' but that's what you have to do

I believe. She will be one of those single moms who go out on weekends, blow some guy's cock, come home and kiss their kids with the same mouth.

 

I would tell her that you are going to tell the kids why you guys are divorcing, how she has been behaving.

I think this is the last thing moms want their kids know. If she doesn't want them to know about it, then she better changes her behavior.

[MuscleCarFan]

Is it possible she could have been cheating on your before?