dayslikelikethis Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Nights and weekends are the worst for me. Weekend nights are brutal. I will go out tonight and try to be social but it's nearly impossible. I will talk amonGst friends and will most likely have a few conversations with women that (at this very moment) I don't even know yet or not very well at all. When I have these conversations I'm really not even focused at all on the conversation. I am getting little to no enjoyment out of it. I'm just sitting there pining over my ex that dumped me in a text a few weeks ago. I'm wandering where she is at? Has she already met another man? etc... etc... etc.... I will be totally oblivious to what the conversation is about. Will just be nodding and trying to squeeze an occasional smile out. I'll likely drink alcohol even though I know it will put me into a worse emotional state. I'll struggle with not texting her or checking on her Facebook updates... What I'm really struggling is that I've been married before as well as been in three 4+ year relationships. Yes, they all hurt but I think this has been the hardest break up by FAR! This relationship only lasted 6 months as well. I had never felt like this about a woman before. The stars seemed perfectly aligned. We connected on a realm that I had never experienced before. It was as if she was sent down directly from Heaven just for me... (I'm putting her on a pedestal aren't I?) I am well into my 30's so feeling like a love struck teenager was exhilarating during the relationship and crushing in the aftermath. I feel almost foolish to feel this way when I'm closer to 40 than I am to 30. I had never been so certain about a girl in my life. I can't concentrate on my business, am mentally vacant on social outings, and just walking around in a fog. I'm totally confused because I was so certain that her feelings were the same for me. I had bought a boat just a week earlier. Mostly just for her because of the fact that she loves the water so much. I thought it would be a great way to share a summer full of wonderful memories. Now, it just sits in the yard with grass growing long around the trailer tires because it hasn't moved and I have had no desire to cut the grass (I just wonder how overgrown my yard would be without this drought in my area. lol) Anybody else who has similar troubles getting through the weekends, or when you know they are out there on the "dance floor" somewhere and some dude is slow dancing with her, buying her drinks, and well....... u know what likely comes next..... Excuse me while I PUKE!!
ihateslowjams Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Nights and weekends are the worst for me. Weekend nights are brutal. I will go out tonight and try to be social but it's nearly impossible. I will talk amonGst friends and will most likely have a few conversations with women that (at this very moment) I don't even know yet or not very well at all. When I have these conversations I'm really not even focused at all on the conversation. I am getting little to no enjoyment out of it. I'm just sitting there pining over my ex that dumped me in a text a few weeks ago. I'm wandering where she is at? Has she already met another man? etc... etc... etc.... I will be totally oblivious to what the conversation is about. Will just be nodding and trying to squeeze an occasional smile out. I'll likely drink alcohol even though I know it will put me into a worse emotional state. I'll struggle with not texting her or checking on her Facebook updates... What I'm really struggling is that I've been married before as well as been in three 4+ year relationships. Yes, they all hurt but I think this has been the hardest break up by FAR! This relationship only lasted 6 months as well. I had never felt like this about a woman before. The stars seemed perfectly aligned. We connected on a realm that I had never experienced before. It was as if she was sent down directly from Heaven just for me... (I'm putting her on a pedestal aren't I?) I am well into my 30's so feeling like a love struck teenager was exhilarating during the relationship and crushing in the aftermath. I feel almost foolish to feel this way when I'm closer to 40 than I am to 30. I had never been so certain about a girl in my life. I can't concentrate on my business, am mentally vacant on social outings, and just walking around in a fog. I'm totally confused because I was so certain that her feelings were the same for me. I had bought a boat just a week earlier. Mostly just for her because of the fact that she loves the water so much. I thought it would be a great way to share a summer full of wonderful memories. Now, it just sits in the yard with grass growing long around the trailer tires because it hasn't moved and I have had no desire to cut the grass (I just wonder how overgrown my yard would be without this drought in my area. lol) Anybody else who has similar troubles getting through the weekends, or when you know they are out there on the "dance floor" somewhere and some dude is slow dancing with her, buying her drinks, and well....... u know what likely comes next..... Excuse me while I PUKE!! So far, every weekend is a struggle for me. I try hard not to think about my ex and it doesn't go as far as your thoughts. I try to end it at the moment I think of her so it remains as just a remembrance of what I used to have. Any thoughts afterwards are stopped by thoughts of my future and productive actions instead. I lost contact with a majority of my friends during the relationship due to her insecurities. Now, I only have a handful of people I still call once in a while, but none of them do anything on the weekends since they're in relationships or too tired from work. Since the BU, every weekend I've stayed home. It gets really depressing knowing I can't even go out and enjoy the single life... However, I do have some solace in the thought of transferring to a university 1 year from now (I'm 27 and decided to return to college) and begin a new life. Until then, i have a feeling every weekend will be a struggle since I don't really have much friends to go out with anymore... Plus, my finals are over this sunday for the summer program. Meaning, for a whole month Ill be free with absolutely NO PLANS. I envy you at the moment. At least you have some buddies to enjoy a great night out. Look on the bright side? haha
chrisusarmy2005 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 I understand what you mean my gf of 4+ yrs broke up with me in mar of this year, I go out and everything and its hard to not think of her regardless of whether you have contact or not. She played a significant part of your life its hard
The Tallest One Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I also struggle with nights and weekends! I try hard to stay busy, watching ufc on fox at the moment but still think of her every few seconds! She went out on the town last night, took a limo with a girlfriend to Toronto, meanwhile I sit at home watching a movie I rented! She's been texting me last couple of days asking how I'm doing and if it's ok to text me, says she misses talking to me! Well I'm sure that will stop once she meets someone! I'll be 43 on the 9th and was with ex wife for 12 years but never felt towards my wife the way I did for lasr gf! The thing that also sucks is her texting gives me a slim sliver of hope but I also know it won't ever happen, how messed is that? Most of my friends are also married and my one close friend who's also recently been dumped just wants to nail any chic around! I just want my ex back even though I know she's moved on! F*ck me!
KatZee Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 If it makes anyone feel better I have done NOTHING today but lay on my couch watching Lifetime Movie Network... eating Edy's orange creamsicle ice cream in my pajamas. I've alternated between that and playing Apps. This is my life today: No seriously. The Jurassic Park app is ruining my life. I did get up for a little bit and vacuumed so I didn't feel like the biggest waste of life, but here I am back on the couch eating Nathan's hot dogs. Come on guys. Sometimes it's OK to veg. :lmao:
Car10e Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I'm sitting here right now struggling. The weekdays are easier for me, because I know his work schedule. I feel better when I know where he is at. The weekends are absolutely horrible for me, because that was when I usually saw him. I always wonder what he is doing. I have a hard time focusing on anything else as well. I actually know my ex is dating someone new. He started seeing her while we were on a break before we actually ended it. She makes it harder also, because she posts where they are on facebook, and when I see he takes her somewhere he used to take me, it kills me inside.
KatZee Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I'm sitting here right now struggling. The weekdays are easier for me, because I know his work schedule. I feel better when I know where he is at. The weekends are absolutely horrible for me, because that was when I usually saw him. I always wonder what he is doing. I have a hard time focusing on anything else as well. I actually know my ex is dating someone new. He started seeing her while we were on a break before we actually ended it. She makes it harder also, because she posts where they are on facebook, and when I see he takes her somewhere he used to take me, it kills me inside. Why are you intentionally hurting yourself? Get them both the hell of your account. Your struggling and you're doing it to yourself!!
chrisusarmy2005 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 It sucks we live together and she tells me everything and she's doing the same things with him that she used to do with me I hate the feeling and there's not really much I can do. She's a great person but she's lost but is it wrong to hope someone hurts her the way she hurt me.
weallfalldown Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 i feel for ya all....I'm so low at the mo, i'm also in my mid to late thirties....i've lost everying including most of the money i had that i put into a house....i sold my motorbike, my pride and joy, and i'm at my parents....you can't get much worse.....well you can, but i'm whinging.........i got stupidly drunk the other night, when i'd done so well for so long.....i just feel like general ****, have no confidence, low self esteem, and i feel about as attractive as a badger. happy days!..
SushiX Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 It's not the end of the world, you will meet someone just as good as her. Learn to be alone and happy with yourself.
weallfalldown Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 yea man......i never thought i'd let a woman get to me like this, i just think the older you are, the worse it is???????????.......i can't wait until i feel better....it's not all her fault i know, as it was mainly mutual....but for some reason i'm the one who is suffering.....i aint going through this again....i just can't deal with it.
Occu3.14'd Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 (edited) yea man......i never thought i'd let a woman get to me like this, i just think the older you are, the worse it is???????????.......i can't wait until i feel better....it's not all her fault i know, as it was mainly mutual....but for some reason i'm the one who is suffering.....i aint going through this again....i just can't deal with it. I know the feeling. When I was in my 20's, I was in good shape and was a pretty decent looking dude. All my friends were still single, so there was a really thriving social aspect to my life. We'd go out 4 or 5 nights a week. I had a few long term relationships, but when they ended, I wasn't the least bit heartbroken because I knew there were plenty of other options. Now, I'm in my early/mid-30's, I've lost some hair and found some pounds. I'm not unattractive by any means, but it's not like it used to be. My ex and I met over a decade ago, when we were both in our prime. We just reconnected at the beginning of the year, and she looks as good, if not better than she used to. At this point, she seems waaaaay out of my league. She's not just beautiful because I love her - she really is just amazingly beautiful. Every single guy in the bar/club/restaurant would turn their heads when we walked in. And I'm sure some would even think "how the hell did that guy end up with her." But the best part is, she's so conservative, intelligent, and classy. She doesn't have a sexual history a mile long, and she would never be the type to hook up with random guys - ever. One thing that really stuck with me is when I asked her why she found me attractive at this point - she pointed to my head, because apparently she liked my intelligence, and the fact that I seemed to have it together. (and she also said I was handsome ) Now, most of my friends are married, and it feels like time is running out. The only girls left seem to have kids/divorced, or a lot of emotional/mental baggage. I thought that my ex was the exception, but obviously she wasn't, further proving my theory. The thing that scares the ever-loving **** out of me is that every friggen person on this forum always says "don't worry, you'll find someone even better out there, and look back at this one and laugh." I don't know about you, but it took me the better part of 30 years to find a person like this, and to finally fall in love for the first time. What would give me a reason to think I could go out and find someone better. Sorry, today is one month since everything went to **** completely out of the blue, and I'm having a really hard time getting over it. Edited August 5, 2012 by Occu3.14'd
weallfalldown Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 sorry mate.......yea i'm thinking the same.....getting older, not quite as i was....and it don't happen every 5 mins.....look, we will get there, we're obv just feeling like **** at the mo, i remeber feeli like this before, but i got over it. I'm with ya man.....big love..
Occu3.14'd Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 sorry mate.......yea i'm thinking the same.....getting older, not quite as i was....and it don't happen every 5 mins.....look, we will get there, we're obv just feeling like **** at the mo, i remeber feeli like this before, but i got over it. I'm with ya man.....big love.. And the worst part is that I know I will have difficulty finding another woman as beautiful as her, both inside AND outside. She, on the other hand, could literally have any guy she wants.
weallfalldown Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 yea mine was a stunner, and a body to die for too...........but that was about it haha....nout between the eyes...
Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Mornings and Weekends used to be the worst for me but I forced myself to deal with them. Before my relationship i was very happy having all of my alone time. It's simply returning to that state of mind that matters. Now that I have been broken up for over 4 months I feel as though my weekends and nights are sacred. I've spent more time having fun with new people, traveling and bettering myself than ever before. You need to find how to be happy alone again. 2
Ani9000 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Mornings and Weekends used to be the worst for me but I forced myself to deal with them. Before my relationship i was very happy having all of my alone time. It's simply returning to that state of mind that matters. Now that I have been broken up for over 4 months I feel as though my weekends and nights are sacred. I've spent more time having fun with new people, traveling and bettering myself than ever before. You need to find how to be happy alone again. I wish I could feel this way. My weekends are pretty boring now just exercising and watching stuff on my computer and the occasional friend comes over. Its so boring! Ugh I hate weekends.
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