Goldfsh79 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I know I'm very lucky I received closure from my affair partner. His calling has set me back, but it also makes me smile! All I wanted was a goodbye and I got it. I also know that he is thinking of me, knowing we can't be together, but what we had was something neither of us will ever forget. I want him to be happy. That's all that matters to me. I'm glad we fell in love and I always will have the memories. I know he wants me to be happy too.
woinlove Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Ending an affair can be a roller coaster of emotions, so it is not uncommon to see negative posts one day, followed by a positive post the next day. Take comfort in the positive times, be prepared for the negative times, and know that they will pass. 3
Author Goldfsh79 Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 I really thought hard about it. I read all the comments here. I came to the conclusion that it is what it is. I know MM, and I understand his behavior now. I'm glad I got to say goodbye.
woinlove Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I really thought hard about it. I read all the comments here. I came to the conclusion that it is what it is. I know MM, and I understand his behavior now. I'm glad I got to say goodbye. Sounds good! About MM, you should think whatever helps you, as it doesn't really matter once the A ends - what matters is how you move on. So whatever works.
Author Goldfsh79 Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 I was angry because it set me back, but I really thought about it and came to the conclusion that he needed closure too. I know he cares about me and wants me to have a nice life, just as I do for him. We are both lucky I feel. I provided closure for him, he for me. When we were together, there were many times I hurt him. I didnt do what he wanted, I didnt leave my marriage (he asked me to), I never gave him fully me. He retaliated I believe by leaving without a word. I know that was hard for him. I can't fault him for being mad at me when I told him, I love my husband and won't leave him. I can't expect him to chase me when I didn't give him my all. I wanted a goodbye and I know so did he. We gave that to each other. It's over, and the memories will stay with me forever.
Artie Lang Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 I also know that he is thinking of me, knowing we can't be together, but what we had was something neither of us will ever forget. your romanticising the thing. you're acting as if though the both of you are star-crossed lovers that can never be. that's why you think it's so special. somehow, i think you "get off" thinking about it this way. just sayin'.
Author Goldfsh79 Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 your romanticising the thing. you're acting as if though the both of you are star-crossed lovers that can never be. that's why you think it's so special. somehow, i think you "get off" thinking about it this way. just sayin'. No, we aren't star crossed lovers. We are two people that fell in love and it didnt work out. I got closure and I am looking at that as good. You weren't in my relationship either so its unfair to speculate what it is or isn't. I'm just glad I received a goodbye.
MissBee Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Ending an affair can be a roller coaster of emotions, so it is not uncommon to see negative posts one day, followed by a positive post the next day. Take comfort in the positive times, be prepared for the negative times, and know that they will pass. Ditto. The rollercoaster is the worse. I hated feeling great,optimistic and happy one day about everything then depressed, upset and angered the next. I felt like my feelings were betraying me, because they were so fickle. However, with time it stopped going up and down and back and forth and got to a steady place. That's when I knew I was at the home stretch of healing, as I no longer swung from one extreme to the next in short periods of time.
Author Goldfsh79 Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 I have a feeling it will be like this, but for today, I will say,I feel lucky and happy I experienced the love that I did.
2sunny Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Too bad you don't consider how your husband feels - as much as you consider your MM. You need to either get honest with our H or divorce him. 1
Artie Lang Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 "and the memories will stay with me forever." you say this, and still say you aren't romanticising? the thing is, you'll always hold on to this and never give yourself fully to your husband. you'll still be wrapped up in it, even though it's supposedly over. in your mind, it's far from over. i feel sorry for your husband. i wonder if he'd feel as luck. poor soul.
Artie Lang Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 (edited) double post Edited August 4, 2012 by Artie Lang
Author Goldfsh79 Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 "and the memories will stay with me forever." you say this, and still say you aren't romanticising? the thing is, you'll always hold on to this and never give yourself fully to your husband. you'll still be wrapped up in it, even though it's supposedly over. in your mind, it's far from over. i feel sorry for your husband. i wonder if he'd feel as luck. poor soul. Ofcourse they will last forever. That's why its a memory. Do you suggest I forget everything? I still have great memories of my first love; doesn't mean I'm pinning for him. My husband and I are working through our marriage issues and taking each day at a time.
Happyface Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Of course memories remain in our brains forever... We are not computers with delete buttons Memories are part of us and our lives... good , bad, indifferent. It doesn't mean that we hang onto relationships forever... OH No... not my first boyfriend. You see I still remember him but it means nothing in the present context. Happyface.
woinlove Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Of course memories remain in our brains forever... We are not computers with delete buttons Memories are part of us and our lives... good , bad, indifferent. It doesn't mean that we hang onto relationships forever... OH No... not my first boyfriend. You see I still remember him but it means nothing in the present context. Happyface. I agree. What we are experiencing now is all-important, what we have just experienced seems like it will be important forever, but it won't be if we choose to embrace life. Some people do choose to live in their heads, live in their memories, and let life pass them by. But most want to embrace life and fill their todays with love of, and from, the people they share their lives with now. 1
Artie Lang Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 (edited) does your husband know of your affair? does he know how you feel about it? how you embrace it and keep it close to your heart.? Edited August 4, 2012 by Artie Lang
roni26 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I am happy that you found closure .. It is better to loved and lost than never have love at all, seems to be a very true quote for you. It is great that you see the love and value in what you had even though you are moving on..i commend you !
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