My first time asking a girl out

[qwerty17]

Hi guys, I am new to this forum. I have absolutely no experience dating nor have I ever asked a girl out. Anyways, I met this girl in this French course I signed up for last week. She's 16 (I'm 17) and she's from Europe and is living with her aunt for the summer (has to leave at the end of the month). I have found several other girls attractive before but something about her is pushing me to ask her out. She's extremely pretty (imho out of my league) and usually I wouldn't even dare pursue a girl like that. However, she seems way more friendly, "nice" and innocent than the other girls.

 

Our class is pretty small (~ 5 people & I'm the only guy) and we're all about the same age. We all talk a lot to each other and yesterday we decided to go hang out in downtown after our class. It was fun and I've managed to strike up several conversations with her over the week and she seems to enjoy talking to me and smiles a lot.

 

Anyways getting to the point, our course finishes in 2 weeks and I was thinking about asking her out to the movies or something on the last day. I understand it's silly considering that she is going to leave in a couple weeks but I know for sure that I'd regret it if I didn't. I am not looking for much. I just want to get to spend some time with her alone.

 

Do you think it's a good idea? If so, please give some suggestions as to where to go on the first date.

 

Please also consider that:

-I dont have a cell phone (I don't work at the moment and can't really afford one)

-If I do ask her out on the last day of the class (August 16th), the earliest I will be able to get together would be the 22nd because I am going away for the week in between.

-I am extremely busy in the evenings because of training sessions with my college team so I would ask to meet her somewhere between, say 12:00 and 4:00 pm. Is that a weird time for a date?

 

Thank you for being patient enough to read through all this info

[qwerty17]

So why wait until the last day of the course?

 

Thanks for replying

 

I'm just afraid that if she says no the remaining of the course would be very uncomfortable. Especially, since most of it is group work and we're usually paired together. I understand that it is a lame excuse but I don't think I have the guts to ask her earlier

[maxy1]

Confidence my man, the earlier age you learn this necessary trait the better your life will be. It's not like you're asking her to marry you, if you've hung out downtown before and talk regularly it will be completely acceptable and she won't say no. Just keep it cool and relaxed. Do not over analyse anything!!

 

Another point: you're about to be really busy. Take this free time you have right now for your advantage, you will and I repeat will kick yourself later for wasting both your and her time if you wait till the last day. Don't puss out! It will be kind of weird if you wait because she will probably wonder why you waited till the worst possible moment.

 

Don't overthink it dude, just ask her to hang and take it from there a day at a time, you will not regret it! You will regret it if you don't.

[qwerty17]

Confidence my man, the earlier age you learn this necessary trait the better your life will be. It's not like you're asking her to marry you, if you've hung out downtown before and talk regularly it will be completely acceptable and she won't say no. Just keep it cool and relaxed. Do not over analyse anything!!

 

Another point: you're about to be really busy. Take this free time you have right now for your advantage, you will and I repeat will kick yourself later for wasting both your and her time if you wait till the last day. Don't puss out! It will be kind of weird if you wait because she will probably wonder why you waited till the worst possible moment.

 

Don't overthink it dude, just ask her to hang and take it from there a day at a time, you will not regret it! You will regret it if you don't.

 

Thanks for the reply. Would she find it weird when I tell her that I don't have a phone if she asks me for my number (perhaps offer an email address)? Also, is going to the movies on the first date a good idea?

[maxy1]

Do your parents have a home or cell phone? If so give her that number and your email address, definitely not weird. Get her email and number from her too, though.. And no, at 17 going to the movies is a pretty regular thing. I took many a girlfriend to movies in high school. I'm 24 now. Do a movie theater downtown or by an area with stuff to do when the movie is over.

 

Seriously though, just chill and be how you normally are with her when you talk to her about hanging out. Remember, you're not asking her to marry you or anything. This is a part of growin up, use your time effectively! You don't want to look back thinking what you coulda woulda shoulda done.

[Michael46]

If you are going to regret it if your don't ask her out, then you should ask her out! Even if she turns you down, at least you will have some experience and feel more confident the next time you ask a girl out.

 

Think about it this way, if you really really like a girl, and you chicken out and don't ask her out, then what's going to be different the next time you really really like another girl? You are still going to feel just as nervous until you get some practice.

 

I am 19 and the first time I asked a girl out, I freaked out so much that I couldn't even talk straight. She eventually turned me down too and I felt horrible but I also felt good about myself too for just asking her. I was so embarrassed but its almost funny now.

 

I know its tough to think this way but I promise that you will feel much better with yourself if you ask her out, even if you screw up really bad and she turns you down.

 

This is your shot man. Don't pass it up!

 

Don't worry about not having a cell phone, email or home phone is fine. She will probably give you her number so you could call her from your house phone. And a movie is a great place for a date; who doesn't like going to the movies right.

[NYC-BigKat]

If you are going to regret it if your don't ask her out, then you should ask her out! Even if she turns you down, at least you will have some experience and feel more confident the next time you ask a girl out.

 

Think about it this way, if you really really like a girl, and you chicken out and don't ask her out, then what's going to be different the next time you really really like another girl? You are still going to feel just as nervous until you get some practice.

 

I am 19 and the first time I asked a girl out, I freaked out so much that I couldn't even talk straight. She eventually turned me down too and I felt horrible but I also felt good about myself too for just asking her. I was so embarrassed but its almost funny now.

 

I know its tough to think this way but I promise that you will feel much better with yourself if you ask her out, even if you screw up really bad and she turns you down.

 

This is your shot man. Don't pass it up!

 

Don't worry about not having a cell phone, email or home phone is fine. She will probably give you her number so you could call her from your house phone. And a movie is a great place for a date; who doesn't like going to the movies right.

 

Umm...this girl I like says she dont wanna go to the movies on 1st dates. I guess there are some girls that dont like it that much .

[maxy1]

^^well most high school kids are cool with it, it's a perfectly reasonable thing to offer, plus you can chat about the movie when it's over. Have a back up plan if she says for some really really weird reason that she doesnt like going to the movies. Maybe main event or Dave and busters or something. But I will be very surprised if she turns down the movie offer, most girls are cool with it.

 

Also I really don't think you're gonna mess up, qwerty. If you are around her so much already and have had good talks like you have, then you are more than halfway there. Just relax and realize this is a super awesome move for you and your life! Now get off the computer and go get her!

Edited August 3, 2012 by maxy1

[qwerty17]

Thanks to everyone for the great responses. I'm definitely going to go ahead and ask her out and see what happens from there on. I haven't decided on exactly what to do on the date though. Perhaps a bike ride, rent a pedal boat, or the movies. Any suggestions regarding a movie to go watch?

[gaius]

Good luck Qwerty. Women like it better when you can't really control yourself, you like them so much that you just have to do your mating dance and ask them out. So now is better than at the end. As for a date venue, it isn't THAT important as long as she goes with you. Give her the impression that you're passionate about doing whatever you suggest, and you want to bring her. So if it's the movies talk about how much you want to see that movie and then ask her to come along. If you can project yourself confidently the chances you'll get turned down are low.

[qwerty17]

I got myself in to a sticky situation. I should have listened to you guys and asked her out earlier. Anyways, I've been trying to do it since yesterday but honestly there wasn't even one tiny moment where I was able to speak to her alone. We both talk together a lot nowadays (we're like good friends) and there's this other girl who we're both friends with and she insists (not her fault) on sticking together with us all the time. I couldn't find an opportunity. The problem is tomorrow's the last class. I was originally planning on asking her out for a movie tomorrow (I am going away tomorrow night for a week) and it seems like I have 3 options:

 

1. Ask her tomorrow if she wants to go watch a movie after class (probably way too late and sudden)

2. Ask her tonight on facebook (don't think it's a good idea either)

3. Ask her tomorrow for a date the week after when I return (don't want to put it off for a whole week)

 

Please help

 

P.S. Her English is not the best and I have a feeling that when I say something along the lines of "Do you want to go to the movies <insert time and date>" she'll think it's a friendly request instead of a date and perhaps even bring along a friend. Should I explicitly say "date"?

 

Thanks.

[gaius]

Doing fine qwerty, don't start thinking you did something wrong. Relax. Ask her tomorrow. If the friend is hovering just say you need to talk to your girl alone for a minute, pull her aside, tell her you're going away for a week but you should go see a movie sometime and if she says yes ask for her phone number so you can set it up. You don't even have to propose a specific time right then since your leaving for a week. It's no big deal if she doesn't get the hint it's a date and brings a friend. You're making progress anyway. Just play along while paying attention mostly to her. You can be more specific and get her alone on the second outing.

[qwerty17]

My intuition was right. So this is what happened: I mustered every bit of courage I had and asked her if she wanted to go see a movie this Wednesday (tomorrow). She replies (excited) instantly something along the lines of "Sure! <insert name of that female mutual friend> and I were planning on going to the movies on Wednesday too. We can all go together!". I felt a mountain of frustration forming against the other girl I just smiled and said "Great". Then we arranged a time and place for all of us to meet.

[gaius]

You did good man. Just have a good time and make sure to give her the majority of your attention. Try to get her phone number at some point too so you can start talking outside of class.