ab83 Posted July 12, 2004 Posted July 12, 2004 My b/f of 3.5 years is really into this online computer game. *I wont say the name unless you wanna know* I've talked to other players who play the game, and they say that the game requires alot of your attention anyways. I've asked him to quit b/c in my eyes it interfers w/ our time together, but he dont wanna quit playing b/c he enjoys it so much. He's real passionate about computer games, so I understand in that perspective. Should I just get off his back about it or what?
StartingAgain Posted July 12, 2004 Posted July 12, 2004 That depends on how much time he spends playing the game. If he's ignoring you most of the time, then I'd say he needs to trim it down abit. He doesn't have to stop, just cut down some. I guess I'm a different sort of a guy. I have always thought computer games are pretty moronic. The only one I've ever played with any regularity was chess, but I still prefer a living, breathing opponent to a CPU.
DerangedAngel Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 I've had several boyfriends that were very into computer games. Most recently, a boyfriend once addicted to EverQuest. He spent days at a time doing nothing but sleeping, eating, and playing this game. Sometimes it would be weeks before anyone heard from him. He eventually came to terms with his addiction after being confronted by his family (and I think then-girlfriend). He started going to group meetings for gambling (as close as he could find at the time), and it helped tremendously. He no longer plays that particular game, because it is too much of a temptation. He does play other computer games and is able to keep things in perspective and not be unreasonable about the amount of time he plays. Like StartingAgain, I am wondering exactly how much time he is spending playing games. It is possible he could have a serious problem. -Deranged
faux Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 I think that anyone spending more than 20 hours a day here and there, or one week straight (with four hours sleep here and there) on any one game may have a problem. Otherwise, it's actually common behavior. Now, if it goes past one month of constant gameplay, that's definitely a problem. However, it's actually quite normal for someone to do nothing but focus on a game for nearly all of his time in a three to four week period.
Shasta Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 I used to be a very avid player of Everquest. Lately, I haven't played because I'm really not into it anymore. But, my best friend and boyfriend played Everquest all the damn time. My best friend would actually skip school so he could get more levels. It didn't come to that with my boyfriend, but when we moved in together, rather than spending time with me and watching movies, etc, he would play EQ. He eventually quit, because I couldn't stand living/being with him any longer. Sometimes, it takes drastic measures for people to realize that computer games aren't everything. I know you pay for it and all, but you can limit the amount of time you play on it so you can be with your significant other.
Author ab83 Posted July 13, 2004 Author Posted July 13, 2004 he plays everyday after work til the time he goes to bed...which is bout 6 hrs/night of playin, Mon-Thurs mostly...i dont mind b/c i'm not able to see him til the weekends. But Lords of Legend is a free game, just go to lordsoflegend.com, and that'll be the game i'm having probs with. heh And he said he dont think about the game much anymore when he's away from it.
sportsloving Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 My ex~hubby was/is addicted to an online game. He can and will play all day, all night and any hours in between. Once I went to work at 9am (he was online) and we had to do inventory that night after work so I didn't get home til 2 am... yep, he was online. He is cranky and moody if you talk to him while he is playing, and pretty much tunes out the world. It's really pretty sad, but he won't go anywhere, do anything ... just sits at home and plays the stupid game ... which of course he has to play to pay. And he wants to have conversations about this game (that no one else I know plays) so conversations with him can be about dipped arrows, amounts of gold, levels he played, etc etc. He only works three days a week (12 hour days) and has skipped work or gone home early just to play this silly game. All of his family has tried to talk to him, we had a few fights about it (when we were married). The girls get upset cause you can't talk to him while he is playing and he ignores them, but he is the one pushing them all away ... no one else. He hasn't done anything with them all summer ... and he is hurting himself by his behavior, but no one can do anything about it except him and he jsut doesn't want to. If that is the life he wants to lead, so be it ... just sad that he is going to miss so much of life for a fantasy game.
moimeme Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 Maybe, Sportsloving, the family needs to get together for an 'intervention'! This does sound like addiction, and a lot of people can't just get over addictions by themselves. He may well need professional help. There are websites about online addictions. Here are a few articles outline the serious consequences these addictions can cause: http://www.media52.net/archives/000032.html http://www.stanford.edu/~jmanus/cs201/ http://www.subboard.com/generation/articles/98631523079674.shtml http://www.cbc.ca/consumers/market/files/health/everquest/study1.pdf http://www.jsonline.com/news/state/mar02/31536.asp
sportsloving Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 Thanks for the info Moimeme I cancelled the internet once for a time ... but he only went to the library to play . His parents are worried because when he is online, it of course ties up the phone line and no one can get through. Dial up connection is fine unless you spend all of your time online. They have asked him to either get another line or go with DSL or cable internet, but so far he ignores everyone. He also won't hear or do anything about the game. His father offered to pay for counseling but of course he said it isn't necessary. It is truly an addiction, but if he doesn't do it for himself ... nothing will help him. He is really a good guy, just stuck in a fantasy world.
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