Im_Thinking Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 First and foremost, I am the man in this scenario. I am a young man, age 22, and I have realized that my generation is horrible at communication. My generation texts each other. Mixed messages are rampant and blatant. So I'm not surprised mixed messages extend to conversations. People my age just don't understand or even know how critical effective communication is to relationships and life in general. Phone calls? Who does that? Well I do. We met. At our religious institution (God's humor right? haha) Our first conversation was great! I asked her out then and there to her face. Of course she agreed! However, she flipped it around on me and suggested we go out right then and there. Immediately after I asked her out. Amazing! Our conversation was amazing! We maintained eye contact through the whole conversation. We share much common interests. Specifically we share the same religious beliefs. (Dealbreaker) I listened to what she said. What!? A man who does that? Yeah, I do. It gets better. She is playing with her hair. Her eyes are dilated. We were sitting on the edges of our seat leaning towards each other... She breaks the touch barrier. Interest... Doesn't stop there... The waitress serving us had a thing for me too... Oh, the girl I met definitely got into a little cat fight with the waitress. Over me. The girl I met also was dishing me compliments. She wasn't showering me with them as your typical nice guy, but she would throw out a few compliments... The one I really remember was "You're hair is beautiful." So this is where the mixed messages start. I call her, she doesn't answer or respond. Give it sometime and call again. She doesn't answer, but she does respond again this time. Via telephone call! Yes! No texting! Hallelujah. She owns up and admits she should have responded. Whoa! Accountability? In anyone!? Keeper... We start talking and she throws out the "friend" word a few times. What? Oh yeah, then right after those friend words we work out our schedules to when we (her and I only, no one else) can go out, I of course picking her up. Huh? I'm looking for some opinions. I don't think I have been friend zoned... But I'm getting mixed messages. Does friend really mean friend in this case? Maybe she is scared of something more than friends? She is moving next month. Its not that much distance... Half hour drive, an hour with traffic. Maybe she didn't want to start something with her move coming up? More importantly, maybe I did something. Any opinions or advice? Ultimately, I am going out with her, alone, in the future. I probably should be planning for that outing. I know I can't rush or be too aggressive with moves; but I have to try something. What do I do?
maxy1 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Somebody seems a little proud of himself, but good for u. It's obvious she likes you and isn't at all weird that she is using the word friend, y'all are new to each other so give it time and if it keeps up, she will probably be happy to add the word "boy" to the dreaded f word.
Author Im_Thinking Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 Somebody seems a little proud of himself, but good for u. It's obvious she likes you and isn't at all weird that she is using the word friend, y'all are new to each other so give it time and if it keeps up, she will probably be happy to add the word "boy" to the dreaded f word. Ha! I'm glad you pointed out my cockiness/pride. I have been working on that, and I have come along way and I am still improving. You should have seen me half a year ago... Oh man... Cockiness to the point I pushed my loved ones away. Not to mention my dating experience previously only added to my cockiness. I am very comfortable around girls and meeting new people and getting dates has come very natural to me... Yeah... A young man who dates multiple women? Who isn't afraid of rejection? I was your classic bad boy douchebag jackass in the making... I improved and continually improve myself. I couldn't live with myself if I was the jackass. Even if I did land all the women. I would have still been a jackass. I'm trying to find that confidence line... I have come to learn cocky is great, in very sparse and precise quantities. I'm don't mind time and I don't mind taking things slow. I think slow is best. However, I can't just sit and wait. I have to act! Precisely of course. I suppose I should just let things move forward as they are intended. Act when an opportunity presents itself in all things... Maybe things will be different when we go out again? It will have been about 3 weeks since we have seen each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder I hear. Thank you for your advice! I learned something from it!
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